Well, looks like the holidays aren't cancelled.

I mean, I'm seeing mistletoe around the campus which suggests that the annoying parts are at least on as scheduled. I guess shopping won't be as easy this time around though. When it comes to making crafty gift shit, I'm not the expert. Obviously don't give any secrets away, but what are you guys planning on doing this year?

[The following message is being broadcast from the bunkers.]

So hey, I'm down in the bunker now, and you would not BELIEVE what happened to me the other day. I was out in town, when I got jumped! By the martial arts teacher! I managed to beat him before he could, you know, eat me? And, um... Long story short.

[The camera pans to the side. There's a snarling, angry wolfman in a metal cage, clawing angrily at it. There's a water bowl there with a piece of masking tape stuck to it that has the name JON written on it.]

I've kinda got him locked up here so he can't maim anyone else. Anyone got any idea how to deal with this?

[Joel is half way between school and the city, climbing up the steep incline at what looks like a rapid pace. It's a blustery day with rain and a little sleet, oh and a GIANT GRINNING MOON taking up half the sky.

But more than that... you can hear the sound of waves crashing against the shore.

....that's not normal.]

So, this got-danged moon has managed to bring high tide all the way into the city! There's about three foot of water in the central business district and more'n that down nearer the coast.

[He pans the camera on his phone so that you can see a crowd of people also making their way up the hillside towards the school.]

....looks like we're going t'be housing some guests. I hope that Vault that's been set up under the school can accommodate a few more.

[He looks over his shoulder then back at the camera.]

OK. A Lot More.

[Hey, it's that jerk. And he sounds a little on edge. Garrett may be realizing that he didn't think his brilliant plan though. He may still have his prizes, but they won't do much good if he can't leave the city. God dammit. So, have a vague message.]

The world's been on the verge of ending for a couple of months now. I know you're all enamored with the idea of solving the mystery mask puzzle, but has anyone thought about, I don't know, finding a way out of this damn town? Let's say somebody gets the masks back and opens the clock tower. What if it doesn't magically fix this little problem of the moon about to crash into us? We'd still be pretty screwed.

I want to get the hell out of here before I die in a fiery apocalypse, thanks.

[ When Vivian loads the video up, there's a smile that hasn't aged a day. The rest of her, however, is definitely older. Much older. And when she speaks, it's clear time has been kind to her speech development. ]

Hello, friends! Do you remember me?

It's been so long! But I haven't forgotten any of you. Hmmm. I wonder who's still here? [ She hesitates. ] Doctor? ... Taka? Are you still here?

[ It goes without saying that despite the smile on her lips, it's fading fast unless someone answers her. ]

[Wave had been to the clock tower quite a bit since arriving at Smash. She went there when she first arrived. She went with Tails a few times, and she still sort of associated the place with him. After he left, she just... couldn't quite make herself go back. Feeling hopeless with the literal end of days approaching in the sky ahead, Wave found... she could use a taste of the familiar.

Familiarity was absolutely NOT what she found.

Turning on her camera in her necklace, Wave started an open message to the academy.]

I think I figured out what the masks are for.

[She turned the jewel so that the camera could see the giant, bizarre looking door that had somehow appeared on top of the clock tower. Positioned around the door were grooves. Familiar looking grooves, at that. Comparing them to the scans she had taken earlier of the masks in Gordon's lab confirmed her suspicions.]

I went up to the clock tower, and unless someone's made some additions lately and forgot to tell us, this is pretty new. The slots around the door frame look just like the shapes of the masks we've found. And I'd bet money that there's a link between this and what's been happening with the moon. I dunno about any of you, but I'd like to figure out what's inside of it.

Hey, so did you know that they make powdered alcohol?

They do.

Did you know that it sort of looks like protein powder if you ain't paying attention?

It does.

Did you know that in all the explosions and monsters and everything that I found some and thought it was protein powder and made a shake for myself and drank it down real fast and then after I drank it realize it was booze?

Because that happened.

I just. I just need to tell you all that I believe in you and that we're gonna get through this and me and Slowpoke are gonna be here for you and we love you and I got this really great idea for a giant gun that Slowpoke I love you too you're real great and the. The. Thing. I love the thing. Tanks. I love tanks. And workin' out. And THESE GUNS, YOOOOOO! I love tanks and working out and these guns and Slowpoke. And you.

How do I unwrite this? Unwrite. Unwrite. Unwrite. It doesn't post if I say post

I'm running out of toilet paper and food in the surprisingly big janitor's closet that I locked myself in about three weeks ago, dude. 川o･-･)ﾉ If anyone is alive and can read this, please send more toilet paper and food. There's a toilet in here. ⊃゜Д゜）⊃ Like a secret toilet, dude. It's a really nice janitor's closet. There's a bunch of old videogame systems and a TV in the secret toilet room. But not too nice. Not nice enough that anyone else should stay in here with me. ( •᷄⌓•᷅ )

Please help me not starve, okay thanks, dude. (oﾟ□ﾟ)o Message me back soon to let me know you're alive and can help out. Reduced price fortunetelling for anybody who helps. (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

I ain't going to re-invent the wheel by explaining what's going on. We need to get as many of you kids to your home worlds as possible. Folks who don't have a home world to go to or who can't get home got t'make some alternate plans.

I'm going t'help as many of you get out of here as I can. I need a list of places that we can get to easily, so, if any of you can tell me whether you can get home without hassle, that would be an alright start.

If any of you can't leave this world, you can tell me that too. We, uh... there's plans bein' made to cover that eventuality too.

[He paused for a moment.]

Remember, survival is everything. Some of you are going to have to make some hard choices. Make 'em and don't look back. Making it through till tomorrow is what counts.

We got less than a month.

Let's get this done.

[Normally Gordon's little messages to the school at large are brief. Terse, is a better way to put it. A quick flick of the switch and a message that inkling ink may be non-toxic but that doesn't mean you should paint the lab specimens with it (For example.) and a quick flick of the switch off again.]

[Not so today. The feed comes on and he stares at the camera, raking a hand through his hair and starting to mouth three silent beginnings to three different sentences before he actually finds one with a voice. There's something he wants to say, but no permutation of words will make it easier to hear.]

I've, uh... Students, faculty. No doubt you've noticed that the moon hasn't gone out of full for the past week or so, and in fact looks even bigger now. I've been taking some readings. The shift in the center of gravity of the moon-planet binary and parallax measurements tell me that it's... not just an optical illusion.

The moon has, somehow, left its orbit.

I only mentioned this to the security chief before now, because I wanted to be absolutely certain of my suspicions and of where the moon was actually headed. I would like to say that it'll just harmlessly slingshot around us and into the sun. I really, really wish I could say that, in fact I spent several nights trying to make the numbers work so I COULD say that... but I can't. There's no other way to plot the trajectory, other than directly at us.

[He picks up some papers, eyeballing them on the camera, making sure he this part straight.] Now... Apparently this has happened before. A world by the name of Termina actually survived the event, but they had four guardian giants that awoke and... [A mistrustful squint at the paper.] physically shoved the moon back into orbit. [He puts the paper down.]

Obviously we're a little light on sleeping giants. As a matter of fact, I have no damn clue how to fix this, or even if we can. The four masks are involved--and there ARE four--but it's anyone's guess as to how they are. What I do know is, if we don't do something, the moon will strike the earth, and every single living creature on this planet down to the last microbe might be eradicated.

If anyone knows anything about this or has ideas, now's the time to step up. You might just save more than just the school. Also... in the event that we CAN'T stop it, I advise everyone to start making plans for quick evacuation back to your homeworlds. If you know someone who doesn't have a homeworld or can't reach it, then consider taking them with you. They may have to start all over but trust me, if that moon hits, then any place will be better than here.

[Private, to Skull Kid]

Kid... I know you were there. Your student file is hazy on the details, but I know you were there in Termina when this happened the last time. I didn't mention your name earlier and I don't intend to, because when people are panicked they can do some awful things when names are dropped. But, we still need to know everything you know if we're going to keep this planet in one piece.

So what exactly happened there?

[When the camera came to life, Dr. Eggman was standing in what looked like a big empty warehouse, hands on his hips, eagerly gloating.]

OHOHOHO!! Greetings, all you little SNOTS! I hope you're enjoying the start of a brand new, even more miserable school year than the last!!

You may be asking yourself a few questions! "Doctor Eggman, why are you standing in a warehouse? Doctor Eggman, why do you look so lean and svelte? Doctor Eggman, how can I have a mustache half as amazing and luxurious as your own?" Well, to answer your first question, I have an important announcement! You see, after you MEDDLING CHILDREN blew up my airship, I've had a lot of time to rethink my life's path, evaluate where I stand, and where I want my life and career to go.

And I decided to BUILD A NEW ROBOT ARMY.

[He stepped back, revealing waves of new Badniks behind him as the camera panned.]

That bird attack a few days ago turned out to be the PERFECT opportunity for me! After rounding up a few hundred of the pests, I was able to get right back to work manufacturing more robots! So despite all of your efforts, you HAVEN'T STOPPED ME IN THE LEAST! NYAH NYAH! OHOHOHO!!!

[The feed ended. ...A moment later it turned back on.]

And to answer your other two questions, I've been taking spin classes, and conditioner is your friend.

[Then the feed ended again.]

[He'd been looking for days. And with all the craziness going on around campus, he knew there was every possibility that she had been caught up in something. Maybe by some giant monster, provoked by the idiots around here. Or someone used the opportunity to do something to her. Either way, he wanted answers. And he went about it in his usual calm, collected way.]

WHERE IS VIVIAN?!

Hey, uh... C'mere.

[Joel ducks out of frame for a moment, obviously trying to grab something that's moving around out of sight for a few seconds. There's whimpering and the noise of a rattle.]

I'm guessin' this is a Pokémon of some kind? Found him on my mornin' hike sniffing around the edge of the woods.

[He holds a small creature out to the camera. It's a puppy! Or a snake! Or... an unholy abomination. Or All Three. It's small though. My Little Unholy Abomination.]

If any of you trainer types know what he is, I'd be obliged. Figure I might keep him. Weird looking little fella but he ain't as mean as y'figure he'd be with a face like that.

[It had been a while since Joel had used explosives in a way that didn't involve blowing someone or something that used to be a someone up.

But hell, it was the Fourth of July. He wasn't sure if anyone else celebrated the Holiday, so he didn't make a big deal of it on the network.

He DID however, purchase a few bags of cheap fireworks.

If you hear some Popping or Whizz Banging or Basplosion noises of any kind, that's probably him down near the over-filled lake, letting off a few crackers.

Happy Birthday, America.]

[[OOC: Feel free to come find him and shoot off a few fireworks of your own, or just chat. He's down for either!]]

[When the feed crackles to life, Dr. Eggman is sitting up in a hospital bed, wearing one of those backless hospital gowns, tubes coming out of his nose and arm. He does not look to be in a good mood.]

WHERE. IS. THE CHEERLEADER?!

[To Faculty, medium encryption:]

[Gordon's on the network, and he doesn't look happy. In fact, his expression brings up the image of a nuclear reactor with a warning light flashing quietly on a dashboard, the herald of several megatons of fuel below it. First Ziio leaves, and now THIS.]

My apartment's been broken into, and the weapons inside were taken. Two pistols, an SMG, some grenades, my crossbow and tau cannon, everything. They were hidden, but whoever it was turned my goddamn apartment upside-down specifically to find them... I need to find out where the hell they went, and FAST. If any of you have a clue as to where they went, I could use your help.

[To the Students]

It seems my apartment has been burglarized. Fortunately it's, uh, nothing I can't recover... If any of you have a clue who could have done such a thing, let me know. I'll be in my office at my normal office hours, and you can always contact me through an anonymous channel if it makes you feel safer.

Also, I feel the need to stress to you all that in the end, YOU'RE responsible for your own property. Don't let anything valuable of yours out of your sight in public, and keep track of who's able to enter your dorms and who your roommate allows in as well. Don't let this kind of thing happen to you.

[Still terse from anger, he cuts off the feed sharply.]

( Private to self. hackable because what are computer. )

So, I'm thinking of hitting a bar later if anyone's in the mood for a drink.


[Action!: You can find him at a bar later in the evening if you're in the mood for an alchoholic beverage with a man contemplating hitting half a century and living in a world entirely divorced from reality for more than a year! Sounds super exciting, right!?]

Hello!

[It's library robot! He's in his chassis today, seated in front of the video feed, looking about as cheerful as a giant eyeball can look.]

Got a--got a small favor to ask, a, uh, a request, as it were. If anyone is interested in. Fulfilling a request. I've got this chassis, see? Very useful, very--very nice for walking around, doing things that involve hands without having to be a squishy human. Quite enjoy having it, like it even better when it's functional.

[With that, he sets a metal leg on the desk with a resounding thunk. It's intact, but it's an entire leg. The giant eyeball looks slightly less cheerful.]

Had it torn off, you see. Red Coach did it, if anyone--anyone was wondering. D'you hear that, Red Coach? Now everyone knows you trashed the library and tore off my leg and beat me with it, you psychopath. And now I'm getting it fixed, so there.

[Cough.]

Point is, if any of you have some kind of--kind of experience with robotics, you know, fancy fixing a leg, I would. I'd appreciate it. Sort of difficult, hobbling about everywhere. You know--you know how it is.

So, a hypothetical question. Let's say you had a friend who was going to take a great, smart, pretty, fun--er, a really great girl out on a first date. Hypothetically, where would you suggest he take her? And, generally, what would you suggest he do?

All hypothetically of course!

[Joel isn't much of one for the Holidays.... but. Well. It's a thing that happens here and he doesn't really care to be 'That A-Hole who recieveth without giving.' So.... enjoy your gifts.]

( Gifts for Max, Connor, Mondo, Hagakure, Falcon and Samus, Gordon and Henry. )

[He's only going to be out and about where he has to. The Mistletoe thing kind of spooked him into staying indoors unless he has to go somewhere. But feel free to find him at his dorm or on a trip to the cafeteria or something.]