[Black Shadow does not appear in public without his costume, no matter how much it looks like the school network has been invading by sketchy fetish spam. He sits with his arms folded in front of the camera, like he's sizing up everyone watching it. He clears his throat.]
...Greetings Smash Acadamy. My name is Black Shadow and you may know me as a world famous F-Zero racer and the revered Emperor of Evil! HAHAHAHAHAH!
...I am also your new Drivers Ed teacher.
I am told I can't make the class mandatory, but I strongly urge you to come. Driving is a far more vital skill than you can ever know.
As for my new...colleges: I look forward to working with you.
[He smirks briefly, like there's something about to happen and he can't wait to see how it's going to turn out. Amazing how menacing that can make a normally meaningless pleasantry.]
[So SOMEONE is used to a life of fame and glory, doing promotional work involving cheer squad photoshoots and crap like that. Among this crap is an ANNUAL CALENDAR..
That he just found out was done without him this year.
And that a bear may or may not have been dressed up in a uniform and filled in for him. Hayato is not sure how much of the text message he should believe, but he doesn't rule that possibility out.
Either way, he is BUTTHURT. But he's determined not to miss out on the fun entirely. So here he is, all charming/smug smiles and bright ideas.]
I'm looking for an elite team of those who love the camera and who the camera loves right back.
It's nearly the end of the year, which means calendar sales will be shooting up pretty soon. So who wants to volunteer for a little school project? A Smash Academy calendar does sound like quite something, doesn't it? This school is rather well known in this city, so it has potential.
The proceeds will go toward a charity just in time to make the holidays a whole lot cheerier for those in need, people who need to keep track of dates will make their walls a little more beautiful... it's for a good cause all around.
How about it?
TIME TO DRAW CUTE PINUPS IS WHAT I'M SAYING HERE]
[Somebody in school has been missing his phone for a day or two. Bad news for him, but good news for someone else, who struggles to send something out to the network ASAP.]
This is probably gonna sound stupid, but I haven't been here for a while: This island been up here for long? ...And how do you get down? I guess someone's been up here before me, and whoever it was dropped his phone.
Sorry for boosting it, but I got nothing on me and this ain't the kind of place I wanna stick around in. You'll get it back once I get off this thing.
[There is a long pause full of ambient jungle noise while something finally dawns on him.]
Is there a station wagon down there, somewhere? Tell me it's not on a roof.
[It's been in the parking lot since Friday night. How did it get there? A mystery.]
[To put it nicely, Hajime's school spirit is at a minimum. But that's no reason not to show his support for his fellow students, is it? The state of this school hardly falls on any of them. For their sake, he's going to give the most spirited pep talk he can muster on camera!
Wow, look at that, he even hung up a huge banner behind him. Did he make that himse—of course he did, look, don't stare too hard at it, please don't mention the smeared paint and ugly colors, he put his all into it, okay, and it's hanging straight which is all you can really ask for, right?
Smash Academy! We're well into another semester at this school! I assume you're all beginning to settle in to a new schedule with our new classes. Do your best!
[The best you can, in this school. Truly, he hopes you survive. More importantly, though:
Beyond academics, however, fall means that the sports seasons are starting anew! Let's all remember to show the Flaming Hobos our greatest support! YOU CAN DO IT, TEAM! GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT HOORAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
As an extra reminder to all students, the cheer squad is always accepting new recruits. Show your passion for your peers, unleash your inner spirit for all the world to see! HRRAAH!( Action options!! )
Hey, anyone know where I can get a good meal 'round here? Cafeteria's great, don't get me wrong but I've been living off rations for the past week. [Ian starts pulling MRE wrappers out of his pockets and holding them up for the video] They sorta get old quickly, you know?
Anyway, I'd kill for a decent meal, [Ian pats his stomach and tries to look pathetic and starved. Maybe someone will take pity on him and cook for him.] if anyone's offering. I'll make it up to you somehow.
[Ian leans in like he's ready to stop the video and then stops like he suddenly remembered something.]
Oh and by the way--! I'll be replacing all of the locks on the storage rooms, so they can be unlocked from the interior. For, erm, safety concerns.
[Late, late at night Friday evening (or early Saturday morning if you prefer) something broke through the summer sky. It wasn't one of those strange purple streaks but it was coming in hot and fast. A fireball looked like it was heading on a crash course for the dorms but banked hard at the last moment and plowed through the nearby forest bordering the school. The result was loud and thunderous, and left an ominous billow of smoke somewhere deep beyond the tree line. Perhaps it was a [VIDEO]
metroidrite meteorite? Dare ye investigate?
Should you bravely venture into the poorly lit forest you might discover what looks like the smoldering remains of a crashed spaceship. Half the hull was buried deep into the ground jutting out at a 45 degree angle, heaping up dirt and rock where it impacted. A neat line of toppled over, half-mangled, half-burned trees points in the direction it came from--seemingly none other than "up".
Samus was surprised he survived that at all. He can thank his suit of armor for absorbing most of the impact but now it too is mangled beyond any good use. Stripped of his Power Suit he's nearly defenseless, not to mention sore and grumpy. All he has is a rather useless emergency pistol and his tattered skin-tight Zero Suit. Attempting to crawl out of the wreckage only so armed may have been foolish, but he had no choice.
Some distress signal that turned out to be. At least he was alive, and he planned on making that much count.]
[SOME TIME AFTER THE CRASH... (perhaps a day or two later) Samus attempts, very begrudgingly, to get settled in this Smash Academy place until he can make repairs on his poor broken ship. Not that anyone needs to know about that and frankly he'd prefer no one did. That's a problem he plans to tackle on his own but in the meantime he has another one. [[OOC NOTE #1: Lady Samus definitely would have at least told Ian she was jetting off to space with Falcon for an indefinite period of time. SORRY IAN, YOU'RE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE.
On the video there's some blonde grumpy guy
I am shit designing clothes just roll with it he could be blonde Han Solo apparently using one of the library's public computers.]
My name is Samus Aran. I'm not one for formalities—you can call me Samus, or Aran, whatever you prefer. I'm new faculty and as much as I'd love to get settled in [There's some very light sarcasm there to the trained ear.] I'm running into a problem.
[He holds up a set of keys, upon which are inscribed with the letters: TD-01.]
The Headmasters insist this is my new designated room to board in, but it's already obviously occupied. I'd prefer not to kick anyone out of their room or take it by force unnecessarily, so show yourself so we can negotiate.
OOC NOTE #2: Because of this exchange, Lady Samus, before leaving, would have made efforts to encase some bombs in ice with her pew pew arm cannon's ice beams and booby-trap the hell out of the bunkers. More heavily (and more deadly-ly!) the areas surrounding the bombs, and should this put a damper on any plans I'm super flexible and willing to roll with anything; she missed a bomb, made human error, setting off one of her traps exposes a bomb or something. She definitely would have gone through the efforts to not make it easy on anyone, that's all.]]
[Galleom. Purple streaks in the sky, or barely-there bubbles. Shadow Bugs. Invisible walls in space her ship couldn't pass through. These recent occurrences bothered Samus, of course, but she could always take solace in being able to jet off into space should she need additional supplies or some well-needed isolation. She still had her freedom.
Now, suddenly, she didn't. And that bothered her. It made her kind of angry. And an angry Samus was prone to be a productive Samus.]No doubt you've all noticed to some degree the purple streaks coming and going in the sky, the influx of shadow bugs, and that uninvited prom guest with the ugly face.
...The... apparent gender-switch one of you is experiencing.
We all know this academy is no stranger to strange things but this instance seems like a cultivation of strange things. They don't seem to be lasting a nice clean predictable week like they usually do. I'm not going to wait around for the Hands to admit all they know how to be is utterly useless. We should take matters into our own hands.
I've taken the liberty of exploring the bunkers, and yes there is an unsettling collection of life-size statues down there as some of you have ascertained. For as long as I've been here, I can tell you most of them are ones I recognize... they're former Smash Academy residents.
The shadow bugs seemed to be pouring out of one statue in particular but I could not get close enough. Tempting as it was to destroy it... I didn't.
I also discovered a room that--as succinctly as I can describe it--reminded me of a Biotech Research Area, or Biohazard Containment area. There was also a chamber filled with what looked like large defunct bombs.
I would appreciate it if anyone has any other pertinent information to share, or things they've discovered.
[Ian’s video feed has kind of an alarming start, he has a slight sheen of sweat and is trying to catch his breath. He is very clearly standing in front of a door to some sort of maintenance room.]
Hey there! [He's smiling and waving despite being out of breath] Name's Ian Malkovich, and I'm the new maitenance man on the campus. Burnt out lightbulbs, broken air conditioning-- [Suddenly there is a strange, very alien noise from the background] --trapping things in closests, I can handle it.
[He gives a big thumbs up! And then continues on only slightly more seriously.]
And uh, Sam, when you get the chance I could use your help with something. Well, I guess you specifically don’t need to handle it but I figure you’re really the only person I know here that’s decent with a gun and--
[He gets cut off by a loud THUMPING NOISE coming from the door behind him. He jostles with his keys to make sure the door is locked before returning to the recording]
Anyway, I was looking for some spare light bulbs and I found a closet full of these figurine things, and I sort of knocked them over, and this alien looking thing, the jellyfish pinchery kind-- [Ian mimics pincers on his mouth with his fingers] --came to life. They don’t exactly give the maintenance guy the right equipment to deal with that. I've got him trapped in the utility closet but--
[A loud SKRREEEEEEEEE is heard in the background.]
--whenever you get the chance, meet me by utility closet B12. No rush. The door's locked at least.
This is probably going to sound ignorant to all of you, but what's prom? I figured I'd ask where somebody who knows for sure could tell me, but I feel like I'm in the dark on all this.
[He gestures with an open palm as he continues to explain what he knows.]
What I've gathered is that it's some sort of event that follows graduation, so I'm thinking it's a tournament of some kind where you pick a sparring partner. If anyone's still looking for someone, I'd be up for it. Just tell me what I need to know.
[AND THERE'S HIS PITCH. HIS ILL-INFORMED PITCH. Somebody help this poor young man.]
- Tags:!media post, !public post, eirika (fire emblem), ema skye (ace attorney), hidehiko uesugi (persona), ike (fire emblem), kiyotaka ishimaru (dangan ronpa), little mac (punch out), lucca ashtear (chrono trigger), samus aran (metroid), shantae (shantae), sonny moe/snorlax (pokemon)
This computer is a lot slower than the one I have at home... It's like it's ancient! But at least it works!
Um, it's nice to meet you all..! I'm Rock Light, and I'll be staying here for a while! I'm here to learn about living with hu--uh, stuff! Math, and science, and history, and gym, and stuff...
[It would not do his pride well to let on just how out of touch he actually was in front of all these new people.]
I really hope you'll all make me feel welcome, and if you need any help with anything just let me know! Er, I mean, I hope I can come to you with questions!
While I'm at it, uh... I was wondering if anyone knew where to get E-tanks around here? It's not for me! It's for my dog, Rush! Rush is a robot. A robot dog. Say hello, Rush!
[He turned the camera to point it at the red robotic dog at his side. Rush proceeded to bark at the camera, agitated by something.]
[A moment later, Rush pounced at the camera, knocking it and the monitor off of the desk. The feed cut out there as a crash could be heard coming from the boys dorm...]
Greetings Smash Academy, my name is Pidge, a Pidgeot, and I have joined with the rest of you to better myself in both knowledge as well as in my fighting skills. My trainer is Green, whom you may be acquainted with already. I hope my stay here will be very fruitful.
I do, however, question the morality of one of the headmasters. Do they enforce visitors to be enrolled without their consent? While I'm grateful to have this opportunity, I can't help but feel like I was tricked into this.( To Green Team members )[Action, Later around campus][A new face is wandering around campus, attempting to get accustomed to the place. Certain related parties may notice something familiar about this guy though...]
On Monday morning at 9am, when students are in classes, a chime goes off.
A familiar chime
to any student from Hope's Peak Academy.
The voice everyone expects does not appear afterward, however. That is, perhaps, the only good thing to come from this.( DR Spoiler Thing Happens )
- Tags:!action post, bowser (mario), byakuya togami (dangan ronpa), hajime tanaka (osu tatakae ouendan), hifumi yamada (dangan ronpa), jock/arcanine (pokemon), kei nanjo (persona), kiyotaka ishimaru (dangan ronpa), mondo oowada (dangan ronpa), mukuro ikusaba (dangan ronpa), rick (portal), samus aran (metroid), yasuhiro hagakure (dangan ronpa)
[The Dachora's flapping around in a giant christmas coat all over campus, not doing much stopping to talk to anyone. Something seems to be very exciting to her, but she's keeping her trap shut.
That is until she pulls out a very rough looking device that looks like a child worked on it. That's because a child did work on it. And do you know what it is?
The violent implications of this seems to be lost on the alien. But then, it could explain the the PUFF PUFF BANG noise in the courtyard, along with the hole now currently residing in the side of a teacher's dorm. Perhaps one that a certain hard boiled detective used to live in? Oh shit, suddenly the pitter patter of little feet is booking it in the opposite direction.]
( To: Max, Red, Knuckles, Pit, Aoi, Sakura, Ishimaru, Daisy, Gordon, Samus, Falcon, Vinnie, Bulba, Chihiro, Ike, Lucca, Sonny Moe, Boxing Club members...Bowser )
( For Apple Kid, Connor, Cyrus, Eirika, Ellistree, Falcon, Ishimaru, Mac, Naoya, Phoenix, Secret Santa Sable, Samus, Vivian, Ziio )
[spoiler alert falcon cares about exactly three of you]
Football Team: Everyone gets a tiny box of chocolates. Go wild. Don't tell Max.
Falcon re-gifts the tub of protein. Fancy new lifting straps. Fancy new tank tops.
Pit: Yeah a scarf sounds good. Maybe a YELLOW ONE who knows.
Dachora: Who even takes care of you, strange bird-child? Your planet is exploded. Do you even have a coat? Have...a coat.
Bowser: An ass-kickin' to be redeemed when you least expect it.
Snake: Also an ass-kickin', also to be redeemed when you least expect it.
Megaweapon: IS A GOOD DOG. WHAT A GOOD DOG. She gets a new doge bed and socks.
Samus: Shitty bargain bin action movies (it's tradition).
Falcon naked on the sofa with his dick in a box. Popcorn. Couch cuddles. The standard parts/tools/fancy things/turtle wax for gunship/bike/whatever mechanical project she is working on at this time. Bad Dragon dildos. Champagne. A baby leash. A MODEST-SIZED PICTURE FRAME that has probably the only existing photo documentation of them in the same vicinity ever that isn't from Rainbow Clone Rampage 2011 (which doesn't count because the pictures were in the paper and she was in a robot suit and he was a shirtless on-fire hobo). It is probably them being dumb on the couch from like last Christmas or something (WHO EVEN TOOK IT it was the dog) and this is probably a Big Deal for someone who makes a point of keeping zero personal mementos. One (1) coupon for a night out to the restaurant of her choosing. Socks in his size.