So, a hypothetical question. Let's say you had a friend who was going to take a great, smart, pretty, fun--er, a really great girl out on a first date. Hypothetically, where would you suggest he take her? And, generally, what would you suggest he do?

All hypothetically of course!

[No schmooze and charm today. Hayato's taken care to make sure he looks presentable as ever, of course, but besides that it's short and to the point.]

Well then, let's take a head count of those who have fallen ill. Staff and students alike. I'm no doctor, but I'm curious about the symptoms. This little outbreak obviously isn't a standard flu, whatever it is. I wonder what the source is...? [And if it really is contagious... He feels fine so far but he'd rather not let his guard down.]

Those of you taking my class, if you're sick, don't worry about showing up. If enough are sick I'll cancel it entirely until this all blows over - but if you are in good health it'll keep you healthy to stay in shape, so do try to squeeze something in during that extra free time.

[And he can take care of picking up after his dearly departed assistant. NOT THAT HE CARES OR ANYTHING...]

[So SOMEONE is used to a life of fame and glory, doing promotional work involving cheer squad photoshoots and crap like that. Among this crap is an ANNUAL CALENDAR..

That he just found out was done without him this year.

And that a bear may or may not have been dressed up in a uniform and filled in for him. Hayato is not sure how much of the text message he should believe, but he doesn't rule that possibility out.

Either way, he is BUTTHURT. But he's determined not to miss out on the fun entirely. So here he is, all charming/smug smiles and bright ideas.]

I'm looking for an elite team of those who love the camera and who the camera loves right back.

It's nearly the end of the year, which means calendar sales will be shooting up pretty soon. So who wants to volunteer for a little school project? A Smash Academy calendar does sound like quite something, doesn't it? This school is rather well known in this city, so it has potential.

The proceeds will go toward a charity just in time to make the holidays a whole lot cheerier for those in need, people who need to keep track of dates will make their walls a little more beautiful... it's for a good cause all around.

How about it?

[TIME TO DRAW CUTE PINUPS IS WHAT I'M SAYING HERE]

So one of the 'hands kind of hauled me back once they found out I've been avoiding the academy. Look, no offense to anyone, but with wormholes 'round, who knows where'd ya end up. Been there, met Cleopatra though she was pretty much... [he grimaced, THAT MISSION SURE WAS A FUN TIME, GOLLY.]

'Right, whatever, name's Ryuuta Ippongi and I'll be your assistant coach for gym. Just because I have 'assistant' on my job description doesn't mean you'll guys get an easier pass to slack off, if anything I'll make sure to work your asses off while helping out the other guy. I don't care if you're late to class or still learning the ropes, but if you show spirit, you'll get extra points in my book. Don't try to fake either, I have a knack for that shit.

( Action for HAYATO SAIIIIIOOOONJIIIIIIIIIIIIII )

[Action:]
[Before Shinta posts on the network people may notice the NEW KID on a mission to pick up litter around the school. Yes, there are people who get paid for that, but if he's gonna be a cool guy then he's gotta do cool things. ...Being nice and picking up other people's trash is cool to him, and probably him alone.

At some point during the day he starts raking leaves, and maybe he whistles an obnoxious J-pop tune while he does. Please do not approach him if you don't like overenthusiastic weirdos, because he will try to convince you to join him. Come on, man, do it, the satisfaction of a job well done is reward enough, right?]

[Video:]
Hello! My name is Shinta Kikuchi, and I look forward to meeting you all.

[He bows at the computer, for he is a Gentleman (in theory) and Gentlemen are always polite. Bowing is polite, right?]

I think here is as good a place as any to ask: I'm a little late for the start of the new year, are there any classes that still have space available? This looks like a big school, and I didn't think I'd arrive so late. There must be a lot that are full. I'd like to keep the arts classes to a minimum, please...

[His eyes drift away from the webcam for a moment and then he suddenly snaps back towards it, like he suddenly remembers something.]

Does the bear always serve lunch? That's amazing! It must have took years to train him to do that. He's very well-behaved, too. Whoever trained him, congratulations! You've done an excellent job.

[Jeez. Check out this gorgeous but somehow pretentious-looking asshole on the screen. He flashes a confident (more like smug) and winning smile.]

So, this is the famed Smash Academy!

[He actually hadn't heard much about it before coming to FDC. But apparently it has garnered a fair bit of attention in the city itself, hoo boy. He knows he's got his work cut out for him.]

Allow me to introduce myself to those of you I haven't already met. My name is Hayato Saionji, but for those of you who are students here, Coach Hayato will be fine, as I am your new physical education instructor. [He figures it's probably slightly easier for the non-Japanese kids to pronounce. Slightly.] How could a fighting academy have gone without such a vital class for so long? Not to worry! I'll be sure to keep your bodies and your spirits in top shape from now on.

--I also noticed that this school has a cheer squad that lacked a faculty supervisor up until now. [RAS DON'T COUNT.] I've volunteered to fill that little hole as well. It's the least I could do, as something of an expert in the field.

[THE LEAST HE COULD DO, SO GENEROUS, SO MODEST. And then his calm demeanour takes a quick but mild turn for the hot-blooded.]

Students, take the time before classes begin to make sure you're in shape. I won't be going easy on you. Show me what you've got! Osu!

[Oh no not someone else who does that stupid OSU!! shit. It's a cheerleader thing.]

...As a side note, would someone fill me in on what is going on with the sky right now? [Preeetty sure that's not normal.]