So, a hypothetical question. Let's say you had a friend who was going to take a great, smart, pretty, fun--er, a really great girl out on a first date. Hypothetically, where would you suggest he take her? And, generally, what would you suggest he do?

All hypothetically of course!

Is everybody ready for the new semester?! It's always difficult to readjust to school life after a long break like that, which is why I recommend keeping up with one's studies each day to keep prepared! But if you haven't done that, don't worry. You still have one day left to review the coursework and refresh your memory!

[Boy, that sounds... exciting...]

It looks like the mistletoe infestation has worn off just in time for us not to worry about missing class due to being stuck, too! I understand that it was particularly unpleasant this year. I'm sure many of us were reminded of... of things that we would much rather forget. The past should definitely be learned from, but not so heavily dwelt upon. Right then! It's a fresh new year, so let's all leave that behind us and remember to focus on the future! Let's hear some resolutions for self-improvement! You've all already made them, haven't you?

Here, I'll start. This year, I resolve to-- [Wait, simply maintaining perfect grades through to graduation isn't necessarily an improvement, uhhh]-- find at least three new activities to enjoy with friends!

...And to maintain high grades until graduation. [Just so we're clear.] But that should go without saying for all of us students!

[Hey it's that guy who can get all gross and sweaty just by being passionate or nervous about something. He must be passionately nervous already, just look at him. Wait, no, this is more of a clammy gross sweat going on...

Did he go to the dentist or something? It both looks and sounds like he's trying to speak through a mouth full of anesthetic.]

It appears to be flu season again, so here is your annual reminder of the precautions to take to ensure you do not get sick! Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water and keep them away from your face! Use sanitizer whenever possible! Eat healthily, get enough sleep, don't...

[Ugh, hold on. He makes a bit of a face and takes a deep breath. It is super difficult to focus on making a PSA right now.]

Ah... don't... spread germs, even if you feel fine. [Nailed it.]

A...Actually, the symptoms of a flu include nau-- [URGH] --nausea, coughing, a sore throat, headaches, fever, and chills, but... I haven't heard anybody coughing at all!

[Even right now he's feeling more like his body isn't happy with something he ate, but he doesn't want to really broadcast that. Even if it's plenty obvious just looking at him. Why can't he feel his lips, though.]

It's still important to be vigilant against influenza! However... It occurs to me that what is going around now may only be the result of a mistake in the cafeteria, so... So it is also important to make sure that when you are preparing food, all produce is fresh and washed and all meat is cooked thoroughly! For those of you who include dairy in your diet, check those expiration dates!

[He cannot take this gastro-intestinal distress any longer.]

--Thankyouforlistening!

[CLICK. He's going to need a few minutes before he can respond to anyone.]

Greetings, residents of the academy. I've heard that many of you are plagued with a sickness. [A definitely inappropriate-for-the-situation giggle.] How unfortunate for you!

[That’s all the pity you’ll get.. if you can even call it that.]

Anyone finding themselves with this illness hopefully isn't one of my students. I have to say I’m rather unforgiving of absences... excused or not.

Oh, and in case you haven’t figured it out [Yes, that’s a taunt to you ‘slower to come to realization than normal’ individuals] I’m one of the new teachers. Hiii!!!!

Now tell me: who are you and what do you do here? [Yes, she wants to meet as many of you as she can. Not necessarily because she’s friendly, but more so to keep a good tab on who’s what and so on.]

When he came to, his vision phased into a classroom from the grainy blur it started out as. Rows of desks lined up from the back where he sat, in a desk of his own.

It was always a goddamn desk. Mondo was sure by now that the haziest points of his memory all revolved around this one unremarkable piece of furniture. It had nothing to do with his inability to cogitate class lectures, which were also the number one most fuzzy and tremendously dull moments in his traffic accident of a life. No. It was like a teleportation pad that transported him across voids sundered by his amnesia.

And this was the third time he'd woken up in one without ever recalling sitting down in it.

----

( What a ride )
----

...he was completely shaken.

[[Ever since AU month sort of came to a close, Mondo's been missing. His stuff isn't gone, so it doesn't seem like he's gone forever, but has he always been this... well, not here? The truth is, he's been gulped up by one of those rips in spacetime and hasn't returned until now. Spooky. Well, just in time for Halloween! Mondo's gonna start moseying around in crisis mode now, so go ahead and run into him if you'd like. I swear I didn't mean to make a KI: Uprising reference; that's not the kind of crisis mode he's in]]

( [SUPER BACKDATED HOSPITAL ACTION.] )

[MEANWHILE IN THE MORE OR LESS PRESENT she was actually making a video post, which happened practically never. It was, however, still too cumbersome to type very well, and she had a number of things to bring up. None of which were her extended absence, which she didn't expect anyone to actually notice.]

Hello... I'd like to apologize for the disarray in the library. We are working to put it back in order as quickly as we can.

[Because it got wrecked. Wheatley has been doing the best he can, but he was Wheatley. Things were going about as well as anyone could expect.]

In order to speed this process, I would like to ask if there is anyone currently present that is skilled with robotics? My assistant's robotic chassis was... unfortunately incapacitated. It would be greatly appreciated if we could ask for your assistance in repairing it.

[She looks about as uncomfortable as someone who only linefaces could. The little girl looked down at her desk for a few moments and then she picked up a piece of paper with a crude drawing of a flower on it, holding it up to fill the whole frame.]

... I am also... searching for this flower, if anyone has seen one. There used to be a small patch of them in the forest, but that part of the forest no longer exists. I do not know where else to look... They are somewhat large, and come in different colors. I would be very grateful if anyone could point me to where they have seen one. It is... very important.

Thank you.

Are any of you familiar with the legend of the Dragon's Gate? They say that there exists a huge waterfall running off a great mountain. Fish swim upstream against the harsh current, but most tire out and are swept away. But those who have the courage to persist and make it to the top of the waterfall are transformed into a beautiful, powerful dragon.

It's a good lesson, isn't it?

That's right! Even though this school has countless obstacles and hurdles and dangers looming quite literally right over our heads, if we give up, we too will be pushed back and will make no progress! We must press on through the unforgiving current, and when we make it, we will come out stronger than ever! All right! Let's do our best to reach the top!!

[What brought this up? Is someone trying to keep himself from going nuts at the idea of one last year here... probably.]

On another note... There are many Pokemon and trainers here, so if anybody has any advice on raising a Magikarp, I'm all ears!

[Ah. Ah. That's it.

ACTION TIMES: Kiyotaka can be found bonding with an ugly fish he lets swim in a kiddie pool out in the stadium some days. Most of the time he can be found studying. Livin' on the edge. Although whatever he's doing, he seems to be favouring his left arm a little.]

[Ian’s video feed has kind of an alarming start, he has a slight sheen of sweat and is trying to catch his breath. He is very clearly standing in front of a door to some sort of maintenance room.]

Hey there! [He's smiling and waving despite being out of breath] Name's Ian Malkovich, and I'm the new maitenance man on the campus. Burnt out lightbulbs, broken air conditioning-- [Suddenly there is a strange, very alien noise from the background] --trapping things in closests, I can handle it.

[He gives a big thumbs up! And then continues on only slightly more seriously.]

And uh, Sam, when you get the chance I could use your help with something. Well, I guess you specifically don’t need to handle it but I figure you’re really the only person I know here that’s decent with a gun and--

[He gets cut off by a loud THUMPING NOISE coming from the door behind him. He jostles with his keys to make sure the door is locked before returning to the recording]

Anyway, I was looking for some spare light bulbs and I found a closet full of these figurine things, and I sort of knocked them over, and this alien looking thing, the jellyfish pinchery kind-- [Ian mimics pincers on his mouth with his fingers] --came to life. They don’t exactly give the maintenance guy the right equipment to deal with that. I've got him trapped in the utility closet but--

[A loud SKRREEEEEEEEE is heard in the background.]

--whenever you get the chance, meet me by utility closet B12. No rush. The door's locked at least.

Good afternoon, Smash Academy!

In spite of the chaotic events of this year's graduation, the school and even the rest of the city seems at peace! [He said, jinxing the entire school.] Truly, these carefree, idyllic, lazy days of summer...

[He suddenly points at the camera, his brow furrowing into SERIOUS BUSINESS MODE.]

Should be anything but! Summer break here is too long to waste on doing nothing!!

[Whoops, he has to check himself here. Deep breath, Kiyotaka. He's trying to prove to a certain someone that he's not just a stick in the mud.]

However, while it certainly is important to refresh one's memory when it comes to schoolwork, all of this free time is also a perfect opportunity to have fun and enjoy ourselves! Even I know that one cannot just spend each and every hour cooped up studying.

[But if you listen closely you can hear the tortured screaming of his soul.]

So tell me: what does everybody do for fun at times like these? There's a whole world of hobbies and recreation that I have yet to experience, but I am looking to change that! Let's work together to make the summer enjoyable, shall we?

.. .. .. .. ..

[A new face shows up on the feed with a cool countenance and a pair of blocky shades obscuring his eyes. He tips his head just enough for the sunglasses to catch the light from the laptop screen and glint, but he says nothing for a good, long moment.

And while it might go unnoticed, he swallows. He begins to mumble to himself. (Hover over the text for translation.)]

...... ... ...

[Struggling to find the words to introduce himself, Machi grips onto his arm. Nobody here would understand Borginian, but that was the only way he was used to introducing himself. He angles his head downward for a moment.]

... ...This language, I understand little. I try learn... learning it. I must. Excuse my poor speaking.

My name is Machi Tobaye. Here, I am s-student... Never do school, before. No big school. Me, I do piano, like piano. ... ...

Sorry. ... I not speak well, yet. I want improve. I want practice. So, please talk with me.

Hello, one and all! I'm Randall Ascot and I will be joining you at the start of the next school year here at Smash Academy. It's... [ THERE'S SO MUCH WEIRD SHIT AROUND HERE. ] Certainly been interesting thus far!

However there is something I urge you to look over before we continue, hm?

( you knew this was coming )

Are there any other psychics at school? Am I the only one having weird splintering-of-reality headaches?

Normally I get, like, three or four random psychic flashes a day, but I've been having three or four an hour for the last two days and it's starting to get confusing and painful, dude. Like, it's just... like reality is fragmenting into little splinters and then reforming itself back into the world, but the crack-marks are still there and I can feel them grating on the tip of my tongue when I drink things.

Sometimes I think I have a beard, but then I don't have a beard.

Am I the only one? Is anyone else getting phantom beards or needles mouth or fragments of reality tearing at the corners of your eyes?

[The video feed turns on. A somewhat familiar face came onscreen, though most would only recognize him as 'that broken robot that Knuckles was keeping on his couch.' Looks like he's fully functional again, and possessing the same emotive range as he did while offline.]

I'm Zero. Starting now, I'll be on security detail.

[There was a pause. It seemed like he was more or less finished with introductions, but there was something else on his mind kept him from turning off the camera. After a beat, he continued.]

The database tells me that Knuckles is no longer here.

...

There's someone else... There was a blue reploid that called himself X. I need to know what happened to him.

...Thanks.

[End transmission.]

[Hey! It's this guy again! Last time he was on the network, he encouraged acts of arson. So, you know this is probably going to be just as great.]

Hagakure... and I guess any other kids who're at a loss for somethin' constructive to do.

[OK. Good start. Bored kids. Summer vacation. Wait... constructive?]

Got permission and materials to set up that chicken coop you wanted to see about buildin', Hagakure. Got a few sets of plans to pick from, so come and see me whenever you got the time. If you're still interested.

[Aw.]

....also, just a quick question. How routine is it that school functions get crashed by giant robot monkeys? Where I'm from you just used to worry about drunk frat boys swingin' on by.

{{OOC: So if you're interested in making a Chicken Coop come and see Joel. In the woodshop room. Wear denim overalls. Required equipment for this exercise. ]]

[ After finally learning how to operate technology on a basic level, a young pale-skinned lady can be seen on video. ]

I hope I'm doing this right... this is all so strange.

If only this were a battle, I know exactly what I'd do. But... no, I must press on. Yes, I should introduce myself first.

[ She clears her throat, it's been a couple of months since she said these words. ]

I am the daughter of Lu Bu. It is my duty to lead everyone to victory!

...O-Oh, no!

[ She realizes that she forgot to press what she thinks is the "record" button and corrects herself, not noticing that the camera has in fact been recording this whole time. ]

--I am the daughter of Lu Bu. It is my duty to lead everyone to victory!

[ Much better! ]

[Ziio is stone-faced, an unsurprising expression from her.]

I am aware of the upcoming celebration. I remind my students to take precautions with their plans of action. If you find yourself in need of the tools necessary, visit my classroom.

I expect my pupils and associates to be on good behaviour. If you have not yet suffered my lecture, my office is open any time and I don't mind repeating myself.

[Sounds like someone is perfectly content with her positions, finally.]

This is probably going to sound ignorant to all of you, but what's prom? I figured I'd ask where somebody who knows for sure could tell me, but I feel like I'm in the dark on all this.

[He gestures with an open palm as he continues to explain what he knows.]

What I've gathered is that it's some sort of event that follows graduation, so I'm thinking it's a tournament of some kind where you pick a sparring partner. If anyone's still looking for someone, I'd be up for it. Just tell me what I need to know.

[AND THERE'S HIS PITCH. HIS ILL-INFORMED PITCH. Somebody help this poor young man.]