[Late, late at night Friday evening (or early Saturday morning if you prefer) something broke through the summer sky. It wasn't one of those strange purple streaks but it was coming in hot and fast. A fireball looked like it was heading on a crash course for the dorms but banked hard at the last moment and plowed through the nearby forest bordering the school. The result was loud and thunderous, and left an ominous billow of smoke somewhere deep beyond the tree line. Perhaps it was a metroidrite meteorite? Dare ye investigate?

Should you bravely venture into the poorly lit forest you might discover what looks like the smoldering remains of a crashed spaceship. Half the hull was buried deep into the ground jutting out at a 45 degree angle, heaping up dirt and rock where it impacted. A neat line of toppled over, half-mangled, half-burned trees points in the direction it came from--seemingly none other than "up".

Samus was surprised he survived that at all. He can thank his suit of armor for absorbing most of the impact but now it too is mangled beyond any good use. Stripped of his Power Suit he's nearly defenseless, not to mention sore and grumpy. All he has is a rather useless emergency pistol and his tattered skin-tight Zero Suit. Attempting to crawl out of the wreckage only so armed may have been foolish, but he had no choice.

Some distress signal that turned out to be. At least he was alive, and he planned on making that much count.]

[SOME TIME AFTER THE CRASH... (perhaps a day or two later) Samus attempts, very begrudgingly, to get settled in this Smash Academy place until he can make repairs on his poor broken ship. Not that anyone needs to know about that and frankly he'd prefer no one did. That's a problem he plans to tackle on his own but in the meantime he has another one.

On the video there's some blonde grumpy guy I am shit designing clothes just roll with it he could be blonde Han Solo apparently using one of the library's public computers.]

My name is Samus Aran. I'm not one for formalities—you can call me Samus, or Aran, whatever you prefer. I'm new faculty and as much as I'd love to get settled in [There's some very light sarcasm there to the trained ear.] I'm running into a problem.

[He holds up a set of keys, upon which are inscribed with the letters: TD-01.]

The Headmasters insist this is my new designated room to board in, but it's already obviously occupied. I'd prefer not to kick anyone out of their room or take it by force unnecessarily, so show yourself so we can negotiate.