smashacademy | Bowser Is A Jerk, Part 2014239891b

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Bowser Is A Jerk, Part 2014239891b

Several months ago, Itchymarbles had gotten underneath Bowser's skin. He'd taken to the occasional bomb-throwing into the annoying student's room since then, but that was losing its luster. It no longer had that fresh feeling of antagonism, the high of pure, unadulterated opposition.

So, he went trolling on the internet to see if he could dig up anything about Indiemango; what he found was surprising. So surprising that their contents cannot be revealed here, dear reader.

However, he learned enough to formulate a beautiful plan.

There is an invisible magikoopa trailing Kibbletango. Whenever Kittytaco is in a hallway alone, or in the bathroom alone, a certain someone will appear at the end of the hallway. Or peeking in over the stall. And that beautiful laughter (they've been practicing, so that their ancient, dust-covered magikoopa throats can manage it with a bit of magic to help).

It always disappears around a corner or after looking down in the stall (not creepy at all, guys) for a moment, too quickly to be caught up with. Invisiblity + teleportation is fun.

Also, because Bowser saw how poorly Krinkletable took Mondo's... well, you know... Bowser used his teleportation to pop himself into Mondo and Kindertrumpet's room during class hours to smear a couple of pounds worth of butter in Mondo's sheets, and tossed a couple of pancakes in cornhead's sock drawer, just to help create a feeling of goodwill and care. Wait, no. Paranoia and fear. That's it. Paranoia and fear.

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[Paranoia and fear, INDEED.

He must be losing his mind. Nobody else seems to be catching glimpses of black and white teddy bears or hearing that malicious laughter. But the butter and pancakes are definitely real, and who else could know about something like that? Yet searching every nook and cranny of the school yields no clue that it's really happening except for the spectres that keep following him.

First come the signs of being overtired (easily passed off as just studying too hard; midterms and all, and he has been studying for those), followed by a steadily increasing reluctance to go anywhere alone when he doesn't need to - unfortunately, his duties make it so he often does need to pass through areas without other people to get to places he needs to be. Then comes the urge to spend more time outside despite the falling temperatures, and sometimes he'll leave the campus entirely to finish an assignment in a busy coffee shop or something.

Paranoia, fear, and despair.]

::And don't forget the sudden compulsion to only poop with friends, dude::

Edited 2013-10-18 14:54 (UTC)

[Only Super Dangan Ronpa 2 characters poop, thank you very much.]

Edited 2013-10-18 16:51 (UTC)

[Whoa!]

[Cut the crap, man. Now ain't the time time for your shit.]

[Yay! Mondo's back! But wait! His feet appear to be wet, and therefore he is peeling his socks off to throw them into the laundry hamper. What happens next is the retrieval of a dry pair of socks, which involves, well, opening the sock drawer. Mondo's face contorts in the only kind of wary confusion that could be brought on by a mess of hot cakes in his drawer.]

What?

[He picks one up and dangles it in front of his roommate to show off his findings.]

Did you put these in here?

[NOT THAT HE CAN COME UP WITH A CONCEIVABLE REASON WHY HE WOULD...]

[You came at a bad time, Mondo. A certain someone is not far off from his roommate's bed (he'd been much closer before, but panicked a little when he heard the door opening and backed off - but not before he was able to peel the sheets apart a little, and the air is pretty much permeated with the scent of butter. He's still a little stunned and sickened by his discovery, and the pancake being shoved in his face only makes it worse.

Could that mean the laugh he heard in the halls before was more than just his imagination?]

It can't be...

[He's staring at the pancake like it's the worst thing he's ever seen. Really, dude.]

[Mondo catches this overreaction and registers it as what is it: an overreaction. Sure, finding pancakes in your drawer is upsetting, but nothing to freak the absolute fuck out over.]

Can't be what? Dude, I can't decide whether you look like a ghost or you look like you saw one. You okay?

[He... he waves the pancake in his face. Not to be a dick, but as though to snap him out of his spooked out semi-trance.]

[YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND YOU WERE DEAAAD

He can't even begin to explain the pancake thing because he really doesn't want to remember it. The smell's making it hard to forget. He points solemnly to the bed, face contorted in that ugly way it does any time something upsets him ~~WHICH IS TOO OFTEN~~.]

Whoever put it in there must have also done that!

[Mondo turns around to find his bed, which, at first glance, doesn't seem out of place with the covers pulled over haphazardly like that.]

Done what?

[Despite asking this question he heads over to the bed and examines it. As he pulls the sheets away to reveal the buttery deed, he tries to form words at first but only comes up with a croak at first. Then, he gets mad.]

What kinda shitty prank is this?! Were they expectin' me to get slathered in butter next time I tried sleepin'? Well guess what, stupid fucker? I got eyes! This wasn't even clever. ...God damn, tubs of butter just wasted. Least they coulda done was shove it all at the foot of the bed and surprise me with butter between my toes. Wouldn't've seen it comin'.

[It's the scent that gets to him most of all, and now that it's hitting him again in full force he has to crack the window open - not only to let in some cool fresh air, but to soothe some part of his subconscious that needs reminding that nothing's bolted shut.]

Whoever... did...

[He shakes his head, snapping back to his senses.]

They shouldn't be putting it anywhere in anybody's bed to begin with!! More troubling is that they were able to get in here in the first place! And that... of all things...!!

Edited 2013-10-27 00:40 (UTC)

[And then Mondo began wondering if he remembered to lock the door behind him this time, though he didn't say anything because he knew he'd be at his neck for even suggesting he'd forget. Kiyotaka sure is riled up about this, but it's probably due to his unreasonably high-strung reactions to anything that disrupted the order and peace of their everyday lives. He scowls at the bed once more, lifts the pillow off, and grabs the corner to yank the mattress protector off.]

They got spare bedsheets n' shit, right? Chill out, bro. All we gotta do is get it washed.

Of... of course...

[Okay, right, he should calm down. It's all a coincidence, it's just some troublemaker - who, BY THE WAY, IS GOING TO BE STUCK IN DETENTION FOR A MONTH WHEN HE FINDS THEM - and what he thought he heard before was just... some student laughing obnoxiously and having it echo weirdly down the halls.]

No, you're absolutely right! All it needs is a wash! Or a complete replacement if it leaves any stains behind.

[Ugh, he's not getting any peace of mind at all.]

Then we should both keep a vigilant watch for any suspicious activity!

If I see anyone messin' with our stuff, don't worry 'bout it. I'll punish 'em personally!

[He is still taking the bedsheets off and attempting to roll it up in a way that makes the butter stay inside the folds. But when he claims he will take care of things, he tugs on them particularly vigorously.]

I get the feeling I know who our culprit is...

Unless you're faculty or a member of the Disciplinary Committee, I won't allow that!

[Because he's pretty sure he knows what kind of punishment Punchy McViolence has in mind.]

But who do you think it is?

[Just try and stop him, Rulesy McTightass]

Shadow. That fucking stuck-up Hedgehog. It's all startin' to fall together...

. . .What?

[Not at all an answer he would have expected.]

Hold on, he isn't even here anymore! [When you work in DISCIPLINE you keep track of truancy officers.]

Edited 2013-11-02 00:02 (UTC)

~~Actually the culprit was me and I got turned into butter, ha ha remember?!~~

What?! Who else could it be?

[He seems so shocked that it wasn't Shadow. Because he's the only person who could conceivably do this.]

~~I'm banning you from this dorm~~

The bigger question is why would he be your first suspect?! His job was to uphold order and prevent things just like this!!

[He is offended on Shadow's behalf. Even if he was a prick~~ly hedgehog BECAUSE... SPINES...~~]

Let's narrow it down to those who are within the school.

[It was Rick.]

[HE looks offended that he doesn't BELIEVE him.]

Because we were eatin' pancakes together and he was being a douchebag about it! I dunno what I did to piss him off, but at a school like this where teachers can toss bombs into student dorms, what makes you think a truancy officer wouldn't punish a student by putting butter in his bed?

[Oh god oh man oh god Mondo's got a perfectly valid point but Kiyotaka just DOES NOT WANT TO BELIEVE that a fellow WARRIOR OF JUSTICE would ever do something this shitty

so

he's going to stick to the evidence that it wasn't him]

He still left quite some time ago! There's no way he would come back to do something like this!!

...We should ask the headmasters to install a security camera!

[YEAH THAT'S NOT FAMILIAR]

[Mondo finishes up with his bedspread removal operation and glances off to the side with a face of reluctance.]

Don'tcha think that's a bit... Well, to put it another way, having security cameras around would only bring up memories I'd rather forget. Besides, it's uncomfortable to be watched in your own room!

[He does have a point... The last thing he needs right now is more reminders of that place.]

...You're certain that you haven't seen anything suspicious? Something that shouldn't be here?

[Mondo gives the room a once-over with his eyes, as though to jog his memory or double-check.]

...Can't say I have. Besides the butter and pancakes.

[Though opening his mind to thinking back on things guides him in another direction. He glances over to his roommate, who looks tense. Sure, he had a reason to right now, but he'd seen that look on his face a lot lately. It was never anything big enough to mention, though when the incidents added up, now might be a good time.]

What about you? Somethin'... buggin' you? [He looks squarely in his eyes, like he's silently commanding him to answer honestly.]

[He meets Mondo's gaze for a long moment in that intense, unblinking, often uncomfortable way of his. Then he actually looks away, because he can't deal with the scrutiny when he feels like he actually has something to hide, which isn't a situation he's familiar with. He may not be in the habit of publicly announcing his more personal thoughts and feelings, but it's even rarer that he's trying to cover something up.

He's a bad liar, and he knows he can't do it. If there's anybody he can confide in about what's plaguing him, it's ~~Naegi~~ Mondo. Maybe it will put his mind at ease.

Except for the part about Hifumi. No point in bringing that up.]

...Am I going mad? I keep seeing Monokuma... and hearing that laughter... But surely, even this prank happening so shortly is only a coincidence! It's only the result of an overactive imagination!

[Yeah if anyone is super imaginative it's Kiyotaka, sure.]

[Just hearing his problem's details was enough to make his skin prickle coldly. No matter how you look at it, seeing and hearing that bear from hell was never good, even if it was just a figment of a disturbed imagination. Mondo winces a little, a visible sign that he sympathizes with him and understands how scary that would be.]

Well, I didn't hear or see anything like that. Maybe it's just stress bearin' down on you?

Of course! That's all it is.

[Feels kinda good to have someone else say that, too.]

In fact, after a good night's sleep, I'll be back at one hundred percent and none of that will be a problem anymore!

[Good luck getting a restful night's sleep though...]

You'd better be! [DON'T LOOK NOW BRO but there's an arm around your shoulder.] I'll be here to hold you to that!

[...He really, really hopes he's just hallucinating.]

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Bowser Is A Jerk, Part 2014239891b

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