[Ogling Falcon's nakedness over a week back and seeing Mac's sign-up post for the Boxing Club both conglomerated together to give Ivan an absolutely horrible mess of an idea. It might not help that he just got finished drinking and is a little tipsy. Rest assured, his typing is always this atrocious.]

im taking sigh ups for nude model. men only. it is for art dont worry no funny bisness. you whil be paid. contact me threw here or at my room if you are intersted.

((OOC: in a few days I'll make a log for the actual drawing time for anybody interested, just a heads up! ♥))

[It's a beautiful day, Smash Academy! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and there is a naked dude stumbling out of the forest.

Upon closer inspection, it seems that this naked dude is none other than a Mr. Captain Falcon, who seems incredibly bewildered and is also covered in dirt. There are at least two or five leaves in his hair, a twig, and maybe a feather.

He seems mostly unconcerned about being naked, and ends his trek smack in the middle of the main quad, right by the fountain, where he puts his hands on his hips and slowly but surely surveys his supreme domain.]

Huh.

[VIDEO]
[The video starts with Ivan centered on-camera, his fingers steepled in front of him. In the background can be seen the rest of the computer lab.] Well, I'm sure you're all enthused to see your immaculate physical education teacher return. I hope you all didn't get fat and lazy while I was away.

[Ivan lets out a knowing chuckle, lifting his hand up and placing it coyly at his cheek.] Don't worry, even if you did, I'll whip you all right back into shape~ And I'm sure my most loyal students would love to welcome me back, right~?

[Ivan knew he was less than well liked amongst his students, but there were at least a couple people who liked him regardless! Those were his favourites. It was almost nice to be back, knowing that he would have the best of both worlds--fear and admiration--again.]

I'll be at the gym this afternoon setting up. [He leans over, turning off the camera.]

[ACTION]
[As promised, Ivan is at the gym that afternoon rearranging things to his liking. Anybody is free to come talk to him, whether they saw his initial transmission or not.]

Hello again, Smash Academy! It's an absolute pleasure to be back.

First, I must extend my apologies to those I may have worried by disappearing unannounced for so long! To put it simply, I had an engagement back in Mushroom Kingdom a few months ago and ended up getting... ah, a little sidetracked.

I can't say I'm surprised to see a few unfamiliar faces around campus since I've been back! So, please allow me to introduce myself! I am Princess Peach Toadstool from the Mushroom Kingdom. Just Peach is fine, though! ♡ It's lovely to have the opportunity to meet all of you! Please, don't hesitate to introduce yourself to me.

Oh, and I've talked some things over with the Headmaster and I'm delighted to announce I've accumulated enough credits to graduate and take a teaching position upon my return! I'll miss having a roommate, but I am looking forward to teaching. I hope to see some of you in my cooking class when I begin!

✨Have a wonderful day, everyone!✨ 

[Backdated to the 14th, of course.]

[Scout clicks on the feed and smiles, making sure to show off as many teeth as possible.]

I'm gonna make this quick 'cause I'm so busy 'n all ...

But which lucky lady wants t'take up the offer'a bein' my Valentine?

I know I'm gonna get a lotta responses, so don't be disappointed if I don't pick ya. There's always next year, right?

I'm disheartened. You would think that academics such as yourselves would understand that Valentine's Day is a complete and utter waste of time. If you bring useless scraps of paper or one of those garish, excessive boxes of candy into my class, they're going right in the wastebin. Fair warning.

Pay more attention to the important things. Things are more tense than ever in the city. I had to pull a man off of a beastkind just the other day on a simple market run. This isn't going to simply dissolve into a nonissue. Keep your gaze pointed forwards, not towards the sky to look at the clouds. Honestly.

[Or maybe he's just grumpy about Valentine's Day because it's also his twenty second birthday. But that's none of your business.]

[After the power had come back on, apparently no one had bothered to clean out the refrigerator in the teacher's lounge.

So someone else had a chance to clean it out themselves, and that someone was Ivan Raikov, happily munching away on meat and other perishables that had been thawed, left to fester, and then refreezed like a ticking biological time bomb.

This left a very unfortunate Ivan Raikov with a mighty case of food poisoning, and with a cry of "Uuughh...it's...b-bad," he was off bolting towards the nearest restroom to barf. It was not pleasant, and afterwards he still looked quite green.

He...he needed to see the nurse! What if he caught some bizarre, rare disease?! Who know what those Yankee dogs put in their meat! It's not as if he ends up eating something rotten just like this at least twice a week or anything.

Back on topic, Ivan unfortunately had no idea where the infirmary was, and so he wanders around in search of it looking he might drop dead in the middle of the hall.

Help a poor Soviet out, you cruel, cruel bystander!]

[WHAT'S THIS it's a mysterious post with no network username attached. NINJA MAGIC!?

Apparently so, because here is Sheik in full regalia, broadcasting from some place very dark and shady and befitting of a mysterious ninja boy.

Mysterious ninja boy does not take the time to introduce himself and instead shoves a piece of paper into the video feed, one adorned with a large, drawn "PP" logo. The more astute observer will recognize these as the letters stamped on those lollipops floating around campus.]

Does anyone recognize this symbol beyond the obvious?

[Action]
[Ivan is in the computer lab, sitting hunched over one of the keyboards as he uses the tried-and-true hunt-and-peck method of typing. He had been told about the school "network", but he had no idea what that actually meant or how to use it.

Technology was confusing. Everything here seemed so advanced, it gave him a headache and frustrated him, but he was too prideful to actually ask how any of this stuff worked. So for now, he suffers alone.

"Username", "Password"? Well, he's pretty sure he's got the first part down...

IVAN RAIKOV|]

Let me iiinn... [He lets out a frustrated whine and shoves the screen back against the wall before finally letting his head rest on the keyboard.

The computer starts making that annoying ding sound one gets when they reach the character limit on an entry form.]

[Voice]
[Through means unknown, Ivan somehow manages to get into the network and figure out how to make a phone call. It wasn't just any phone call though, it was a phone call...through a screen!]

[He makes an almost embarrassed sounding laugh at the start of his clip. Forgive him, he's just beside himself with glee.]

So, teachers, students. I have yet to meet you all yet~ Why don't you tell me a little about yourselves? I'll tell you about myself in exchange:

I'm twenty-six years old, I trained in the Russian Spetsnaz and was Major of the GRU. So, you could me capable. I'm just on leave right now. You know, it's just some relocation. Because I was too good for where they had me before.

[He's digging himself into a hole now.]

I'll be out of this dump in a few months, but for now I'm your new "physical education" teacher.

[...and digging...]

So...you know! Don't be late to class!

[He can't even climb back out and save himself the embarrassment anymore.]

A video post appears under the auspices of Max's account. This has never happened before.

And when the video switches on, the guy you see... looks and does not look like Max. It's Max with orange-red hair, a crazy amount of tattoos on his shoulders, chest, arms and face, and piercings. Why does Max have piercings. Why does Max have... piercings... where the frowny faces are.



Should you click on the video, this short message plays:

"So I got turned into a charizard. Just so you know. I sorta have trouble with the not breathin' fire part all the time," and if to accent this, a short burst of flame escapes his mouth at its conclusion.

"But this don't change nothin'. Class meets like regular. Vinnie, you still got your boot camp. Nothin's different."

In the background of the video, if you look carefully, there is a totally sullen looking Char in the back, trying to look like he doesn't care about anything.

"I need somebody to fix some of my pants so I can wear 'em with a tail. Shirts ain't happenin' this week. I got wings now. You can just deal with it."

Max are you logging this thing while naked. Max.

[Private to Self, Unhackable]
( Case Details and Detective Power )
[/Private to self]

[Private to Mac, Phoenix Wright, Gold, Majima, Ganondorf, Sparkster, Goose, Knuckles, Blaze, Silver, (Each one for their own post addressed to them, this is not a group thing) Unhackable]
( Meeting Request )
[Private]

[Private to Ai Unhackable]
( Meeting Request )
[Private]

[Private to Caim, unhackable]
( Interview Request )
[Private]

[Private to Samus Aran, unhackable]
( Clues left by Caim )
[Private]

[Private to Kanji, Yu and Yosuke, unhackable, early morning]
( Asking for help )

[This also happens later when she has had a talk with Bob at Lunch]

( Bob is scary but awesome )
[Private]

[Public Post]
I would like your opinions on classes to take this semester as well as places to visit around the city. Students and teachers alike are welcome to do so.

I am also offering my services to tutor students that are failing behind in their classes. I have done this before if you'd like me to provide credentials.

Thank you.

[The image flickers to life, and it’s obvious that the camera’s been carefully placed on a counter or something of similar height, as the image clearly shows the back of a rather… womanly figure. With a great amount of theatrics, the figure whirls on her(his?) heel, long ponytail whipping around with him as he does so.]

Hello, hello, students of Smash Academy! I hope you’re all ready to run, because your new track coach has arrived! That’s right! So if you’re interested in joining the track team, please just let me know~♥

Oh, where are my manners? I am Kazegami, and I hope to get to know you all soon!

[ it's The cranky swordsman again, picking glitter out of his hair. ]

I think I've finally found and disposed of all those pointless Valentines. I do not care for Valentines or the glitter that comes with them. I am a swordsman, not some fairy.

Also, anyone in my blades class, we're having a test Friday. A practical one. I don't care for that paper crap. I expect to see each and every one of you destroy your target. Failure is more than a stupid letter; I'll just cut off a finger instead. Depends on my mood.

[ ooc: guess who drew me this amazingly gorgeous art? I'm still drooling over it and now it has been colored and iconized and immortalized foreverz :3 ]

Greetings, students and teachers of Smash Academy.

My name is Souji Seta. I am an exchange student from a small faraway town that I have, strangely enough, not yet been able to find on the map the assistant headmaster gave me. Regardless, I hope you understand that am new to this area. I have come to study under the tutelage of the many faculty members and hope to expand my education. I have not met my roommate yet, but if anyone would be so kind as to please explain to me why there appears to be a section under his name marked 'species' that has Charizard written under it?

Most strange...

I am also interested in extracurricular activities that involve mechanical constructions. Are they available here? I need access to tools to fix my watch as it appears to be broken.

[Private to Kanji - Unhackable]
Until the investigation is over, I would require your complete assistance in not divulging my true public identity or gender to the rest of the faculty. I realize considering...everything that happened before that this might seem like a step backwards instead of forward, but I assure you that this time it is merely used an undercover disguise.

Thank you.

Oh yes I...uh...would you mind fixing a tear on one of my coats for me? I'm still rather new to the entire city and I haven't had much time to look for a tailor for proper repaired. It is enough that I have to try to fix my watch, and I am certain you could do a much more admirable job in repairing it.

( Private Narration )

[Private to the Team]
We should have a family picnic. I know it's the middle of winter, but when has that ever stopped us? Maybe we could even use one of the school's vehicles and go somewhere warmer if we really wanted. Red can drive a bike, we should be fine, right?
[/End]

[Private to Red]
Can I have a word with you?
[/End]

[Private to Vinnie]
I need to speak to you as soon as possible.
[/End]

[Private to Max]
I need to speak with you.
[/End]

[PUBLIC POST TO EVERYONE]
I want to hone my combat skills. Anyone wanna fight me? Word of warning, I don't hold back, so you better be up for it or I won't bother.
[/End]

Does anyone know a good place in town to get a haircut?

[Snake is propped back in his chair, feet on the desk for his computer. He appears to be flipping through a file and folder. His tone is muffled as he's behind the folder. He doesn't bother to show much aside from the top of his head and the wisps of brown hair here and there.

...He looks like he just got out of bed. Evidently being proactive when Metal Gear isn't involved isn't one of his strong suits. Then again, all he was ever doing in Alaska was drinking and smoking while he tried to figure out what the hell the Patriots were up to. The man knows a healthy lifestyle when it slaps him one in the face.]

The name's Lieutenant Pliskin. This is for the students of Boxes 101. Come on time or don't come at all.

[He's real good with introductions.]

( [Private to EVA] )

Secret Santa Ness: Chocolate Cheesecake.
Ai: Basic drawing kit.
EVA: Another used condom and some hemorrhoidal cream.
Goose: GOOD OL' AMERICAN BEER. Gross.
Leon: Plastic shot glasses. (In case he gets cursed again.)
Mac: Strawberry Shortcake and a carrying bag for his boxing gloves.
Megaman: ... Another cupcake pan.
Miller: A new pair of sunglasses and maté tea.
Raiden: A black thong identical to his except the lightning bolt is on the left side. Also a new shooting video game.
Skull Kid: 120 Crayon set.
Surge: Poffins for his Pokémon.
Team Red: Poffins! They aren't poisoned, don't worry. =|
Theo: Basic drawing kit.
Volgin: Himself. And some new turtleneck sweaters.
Waluigi: 2 Yellow flowers.
Watt: Fuzzy yellow mittens and a pale yellow ushanka.

( plus narations )


[The following presents are give to the person if he had caught them during the day, otherwise it's left in front of their dorm.

Lucas;
"All I can say is how much I need to thank you, we haven't known each other long but it means so much to me that you cared so much. Next year, I'm going to try my best to be a good Pokemon to you.

-Theo."

You get a beret! Okay, you have a lot of berets, but some more shouldn't be bad and you do like them. To come along with that, there's also a nice scarf and some treats he bought.

Red;
A copy of coordinating Pokemons in contests and musicals. What?

Voile;
You get a nice dress and a bouquet of flowers along with some poffins.

Alex;
Also a bouquet of flowers along with a small card promising another hang out, his treat again.

Skarmory;
A sweater and some candy.

Gray Fox;
An apology letter if he has seen you again.

Sissle;
Some catnip and a bandana, you seem to like them.

Raikov;
Thankfully he knows who's he giving a present in the secret santa, so he gave him a new set of colored pencils.]

This was an odd year for Milimili. Last time, she put in effort NOT to get anyone gifts unless she had to. This year, she couldn't stop looking for things for those people she knew, whether she liked them or not. For those she didn't like too much, she tried to be as obnoxious as possible! And for those she was alright with, well... She sort of went back on her principles and tried to get them thoughtful gifts. She didn't really notice herself doing it until she'd delivered all the gifts, though.

Needless to say, she feels embarrassed now. And regrets giving so many people gifts that actually had thought put into it.

( Gifts to: Lyra, Amitie, Cyrus, Majima, Volgin, Raikov, and secret santa Watt. )

If your character gave Milimili something and is not listed above, Milimili likely gave them a card with a silly drawing signed simply: To (the recipient), From Milimili. Thanks. That is, if the gift was nice. If it was a mean gift similar to her own gift giving, she got a card and drew a butt in it and did not sign it.