smashacademy | {THREE} - [Video] Scout's Valentine? Maybe?

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{THREE} - [Video] Scout's Valentine? Maybe?

[Backdated to the 14th, of course.]

[Scout clicks on the feed and smiles, making sure to show off as many teeth as possible.]

I'm gonna make this quick 'cause I'm so busy 'n all ...

But which lucky lady wants t'take up the offer'a bein' my Valentine?

I know I'm gonna get a lotta responses, so don't be disappointed if I don't pick ya. There's always next year, right?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh, it was this Yankee again, was it? Ivan couldn't help but be grated by that cockiness of his. He needed to knock him down a few pegs.]

Not even a woman would be that desperate.

[Well, that was fast.

Scout was hoping that he'd at least get a few responses from the ladies before being ridiculed by a guy who has far too much free time on his hands.

Though, really, he doesn't feel very ridiculed right now. In fact, Scout's pretty amused.]

Desperate? [He snickers.]

Dude, maybe you need t'spend less time surfin' these posts and more time doin' Russian stuff. Or whatever. Just not 'botherin' Scout' stuff.

I think yer attempt at fuckin' with me is pretty funny, though. I'll give ya that.

[Ivan just looks bored, and he arches his eyebrows without any other distinct emotion to exemplify this.]

I'm a teacher, remember? I've got to check this thing at least once a day.

[Just in case anything important comes up. But mostly because he has nothing better to do in his free time. Lesson plans? Hah!]

All I was trying to do was break the cold, hard truth to you. It's not my fault you can't take a little constructive criticism~

Why? Incase someone says somethin' bad aboutcha? 'Cause that's always gonna happen. Nobody likes teachers. They're always either too stuffy or too stupid t'be doin' what they do.

[He sighs.]

What truth? I didn't hear anythin' true in whatcha said, man.

And they don't like you--sounds fair to me.

[Honestly, Ivan doesn't care if a bunch of younger brats don't like him. He's got all he needs at the moment in Seth.]

It must be nice being that stupid. I envy you.

I'll be Valentines with you!

[Of course, Mary's still in the age group where this means an innocent exchange of cutesy cards and candy. She'll be everyone's Valentine as far as she's concerned.]

[When he thought he'd get responses from the ladies, he didn't expect this.

It takes him a minute to think of something to say.]

Uh, but don't elementary school kids pass out Valentines cards t'everyone in their class? I mean, that means you already got like 20 Valentines. That's over the limit.

Huh?! There's a limit? That's not fair, I want a whole lot more! ...It's my first year doing this, so I should get to catch up on what I missed!

Yeah, totally.

I mean, how're you gonna afford enough chocolate 'n stuff for 20 Valentines?

I have money! I sell candy to make money...

Oh! What if I just gave those out instead?

[Scout loves candy.

Scout loves FREE candy even more.

But how can he agree to be a kid's Valentine? That's just ... weird.]

What kinda candy?

Lollipops!

[Careful, Scout, they're NO GOOD.]

[It's been forever since he had one of those.

Literally forever.]

Can I have one? Jus' cause. No real reason or nothin'.

You can if you be my Valentiiiine...

[She reaches off-screen for something, then with a telltale crinkling noise brings a handful of them up to the camera.]

Edited 2013-03-01 16:29 (UTC)

[ haha oh wow

should he be evil?

he's going to be evil. let's see, what is a grotesque creature he can utilize to scare this one an ample amount...? ]

Hello, fruit of my loins. I am a sixty-four year old Probopass looking for a lover.

Please do me in every available orifice.

Thank you.

[ ok.

... now what possessed him to do that?

idk. he was bored. ultimate life's gotta do something to occupy his free time. ]

[Scout fumbles around and changes the recording mode to text, because text is the only way he feels he can reply to this .... elaborate troll.

Of course, he spells like shit, so...]

what

what the fuck is a probopass and

also that is way 2 old i cant even begin 2 process this

who is this

who typed this shit n sent it 2 me

its not funny

[ DEAR GOD A CHATSPEAKER. Nope. Wrong. WRONG. It reminded him of Sonic. Ergh. Ergh.

Tempted on aborting now. ]

You asked for a lady, so you got a lady. :)

Here is a photo of me:

Please don't discriminate. I promise that I'm a good time. ;)

[ He then attaches a phone number. That phone number may or may not be Sonic.

Actually, no.

It is. ]

your a rock

a giant rock with a stache

what is wrong with you

i am not calling that number.

How dare you attack me with your patriarchy's implementation into society? My hair is all natural! It is not disgusting or repulsing. It is my body, my choice.

Oh, yes, and I am also very hard right now.

[ Oh, this one is such an easy target. ]

i am not going 2 respond anymore

leave me alone

weirdo.

And you are a blatant idiot with no regard for varied creatures, let alone women.

Do enjoy reveling in your baseless logic. It will surely take you places.

[ ... Though, he is pretty funny to mess with. ]