[Between nonsense like underpants-related frame-ups and yakuza conspiracies and the annual stresses of an approaching school year, a certain someone is a little on edge. He's always pretty high strung but if you're really observant you might be able to tell that he is slightly more so today.]

The beginning of a new school year is almost upon us! I have been here long enough now to know exactly what is wrong with this academy, and this is the year changes will finally be brought about... But no one man can do it alone! That's why the Disciplinary Committee is recruiting once again!

We'll need those who value order and justice and, above all else, a strong work ethic! It will be a difficult journey, but let's do our best to create the ideal environment to encourage everyone to bring out their full potential as well! Only those who would take it seriously need apply!

On that note... We will also be needing a new faculty advisor! [THAT'S RIGHT BOWSER HE IS SICK OF YOUR SHIT.] The position is open immediately!

[And then, as a side note:] By the way, if any students have not chosen their courses yet, be sure to take care of that as soon as possible.

Everyone, let's turn this school around!

( A note to Hope's Peak transfers, hackable. )

Bowser hadn't had any fun in a very long time, besides finding ways to annoy that perfectly annoyable boy who always wore white uniforms. He wanted to spend some time having Peach bake him cakes and comb his hair and tell him what a big, strong, manly man he was, and after Doopliss had left him a box full of boos, he felt that he should at least get some fun out of them.

But he'd need a distraction to distract the others. So, he asked some magikoopas to magic him up a fake letter for Princess Peach, and to also give him their shed skin. He had it ground up (the skin, not the letter) into nice, white powder. Magikoopas were full of all sorts of magical whatever. This was probably going to do something. Probably. Whatever, thinking things through isn't Bowser's job.

He sneaked into the student kitchens, found Lyra's baking supplies, and dumped out half of a bag of flour into the trash and replaced it with Magikoopa powdered skin. Nobody would ever know the difference.

He then stuck a letter into Paraloser's delivery bag that looked like it had been originally addressed to the Mushroom Kingdom like two months ago. The letter informed Peach that she was this year's Humanitarian of the Year picked by the Fraternal Order of Fungal Brotherhood, and invited her to their banquet in her honor, to be held on the 27th. The day that Lyra was supposed to do all of her stupid baking.

The address would take Peach to an empty field in the Mushroom Kingdom. She would, however, be gone while the baking was going on, so there would be no chance that his beloved Peach would be contaminated by whatever it was that concentrated magikoopa would do. Bowser hoped it would make everyone nearsighted and obey his every command. But whatever. It'd do something, and in the confusion of whatever it was going to do, he'd kidnap Peach and nobody would be paying any attention.

[Oh, look! It's Lyra! NEAT. She's got her Furret on her lap, and they've both got expressions that totally say Important Business Ahead. Totally.]

Hey, guys! So, I had this really great idea. I know there's been a whole lot of awful stuff going on lately, what with the riots and the stuff that happened to some of the students here just recently, so I was thinking we should try to get a little positivity going. I figured since the school's been involved in some... bad stuff... with this whole humans-nonhumans thing, it'd do good if we could give back a little, you know?

I wasn't really sure what to do, but I thought about it for a while, and I think I hit on a solution. I talked with the Headmasters, and they gave me permission to hold a Bake Sale out on the school green. All the profits we make are gonna be donated to Brookhaven Hospital, one of the first hospitals in the area to have non-human staff.

The Bake Sale's gonna be held this weekend. I'll be working as hard as I can to get ready, but if anyone wants to volunteer to help with the baking, I'd really appreciate it. If you can't pitch in, then try to stop by on the weekend and show your support then, okay?

[This time, rather than a small creature with a mask, a human face greets you on a video feed. Genny has a bright, cheery look on said human face.]

Good day, Smash Academy! General Guy here, again! Now that I'm fully settled back in, I want to get to work!

[He picks up a stack of papers and begins to flick through them, humming as he does. Was that it? Did he forget he left the video feed on?


oh no wait he's back]

O-kay! So.

[He puts a "sympathetic" look on his face. It's not really coming across.]

It's been strange, I know. I saw that Mr. Powers is planning on running a seminar to help non- human students acclimate better to a human life, and that's excellent! However, as a non- human myself, I believe even more can be done.

Perhaps there's a way to help humans better understand the lives of non- humans? To show the other side of the coin? I believe it would be beneficial, and would.

[Genny steals a look at his notes.]

... Help prevent a division from being formed within the student body here on campus.

[He puts his fingers together, and points them at the camera in a non- threatening, authoritative pose.]

It's all up to you, the student body. What way would you best like to share your stories? Please leave your suggestions as a response to this entry, or in my mailbox.

Greetings, Smash Academy. It's been a while since I've looked upon your rolling campus.

You've been slacking! The grass in the main quad is brown. A year ago, the lawns were so green, the color nearly burned my eyes. I'll give you a pass, considering the harshness of this past winter.

Ahem. My name and title is General Guy, General of the Shy Guy Army from Toad Town's Toy Box, under the control of King Bowser. I was a student at the high school many years ago, but now I'm back to serve as your Student Affairs Administrator. I plan to get my new office set up post haste. If you need anything, come visit me there!

[Private to Bowser]
H-hello, King Bowser, sir! I've returned. If that's alright. I didn't tell you, but it wasn't because I forgot. It was a surprise! So... surprise, sir?

Hello again, Smash Academy! It's an absolute pleasure to be back.

First, I must extend my apologies to those I may have worried by disappearing unannounced for so long! To put it simply, I had an engagement back in Mushroom Kingdom a few months ago and ended up getting... ah, a little sidetracked.

I can't say I'm surprised to see a few unfamiliar faces around campus since I've been back! So, please allow me to introduce myself! I am Princess Peach Toadstool from the Mushroom Kingdom. Just Peach is fine, though! ♡ It's lovely to have the opportunity to meet all of you! Please, don't hesitate to introduce yourself to me.

Oh, and I've talked some things over with the Headmaster and I'm delighted to announce I've accumulated enough credits to graduate and take a teaching position upon my return! I'll miss having a roommate, but I am looking forward to teaching. I hope to see some of you in my cooking class when I begin!

✨Have a wonderful day, everyone!✨ 

Everyone! Do not forget the importance of traveling in pairs or even groups when leaving school grounds, no matter who you are! In the interest of the safety of our students and faculty alike, I am hereby proposing a new rule: do not be off the grounds after sunset, and be indoors by 8:00 PM! ...While I can't enforce this with anyone who is not a student, I strongly suggest that everyone cooperates!

With the way things are escalating out there, it feels as though this school is the only safe haven.

[He pauses for a few seconds, glancing to the side. Something about that... what? Probably nothing. He shrugs it off and goes back to being the stern voice of authority.]

...So with that in mind, we must make sure there is no tension between any of us here, either! But from what I have seen, we are all standing united together against despair. Keep it up!!

( And an e-mail to the Disciplinary Committee members. )

None of these gifts are marked, with the exception of the ones to Doopliss and Robotnik.

( Samus, Falcon, Roeggbotnikman, Dooplis, Flurrie, Daisy, Goombella, Watt, Pit, SECRET SANTEE GREEN )

Wow okay so...gotta say, outta all the stuff that happens around here I can't tell ya how bad it was to just not talk. At all.

Appreciate the lil' things in life if ya got it, I guess is the whole moral of this thing. Dunno how hard it'd be when it's gone, y'know?

So as usual, guess I wasn't the only one.

Everyone all good now?

[He breathes in and makes a heavy sigh. MAN TALKING AGAIN FEELS SO GOOD.]

[Oh, looks like Samus was making a journal post. If you squinted, you may imagine the woman making the post to be Samus' green eyed younger sister, but you most likely just think it's Samus. Let's see what she has to say.]

...

[Well, that's pretty in character. After a moment of death glaring at the camera, she shuts off the feed and finishes the entry by text.]

Whomever is responsible for this latest atrocity should sleep with one eye open. I'm sure I heard a laugh retreating into the hallway.

[A piece of paper crumpled up, tossed in the dusty corner of the hall you take to your next class. Or folded neatly and slipped under your door. Or maybe someone told you. How you found out isn't that important; if you were invited, you better show up.

( FIGHT CLUB DEETS. )

If you are interested in joining Smash's off-campus, underground, really suspicious FIGHT CLUB? An OOC post here will put your dude on the list.]

[The feed turns on to reveal a big wet nose hogging up most of the camera space. It moves back, revealing a wide-eyed tauren face.]

Ah! It works! [Wow, what kind of crazy-ass accent is THAT?]

Lok'tar! Hello! This device - it is Gnomish? It hasn't exploded so far, so definitely not Goblin... I have never seen anything like this. Even the writing of... of...

[She wrinkles her nose and pantomimes writing something on her palm.]

...Mail! Even the writing of mail is not common in my tribe. We prefer face-to-face. But, as this is speaking and not writing, it is still good, I think. I-I know it will help me to practice the human tongue. You can probably hear I am still learning.

[She laughs nervously, rubbing the side of her face. Then she glances away, trying to remember something.]

...Oh! I was so excited, I forgot the most important thing. My name is Aquenda Tenderhoof. I think, maybe, I come at a strange time. There was a festival, but great beasts came to destroy it. [Sorta.] Also, I have heard of floods? To speak of that, if anybody can tell me your rituals in receiving elemental blessings here, that would be helpful very much.

[So it's been a few days and the rain simply has not let up. Stairwells look more like waterfalls, The lake has swollen so much that it's started encroaching in on the parking lot and beyond, and the school's drainage pipes are near their bursting point. Some, unfortunately, already have reached that point. Ew.

Miraculously, the school's electricity and subsequently the network is still working... barely. Rick's video feed opens up with some static, the imaging going on and off, a blurr of a bird's eye view of some of the hallways... or more accurately, a core's eye view. His voice even sounds a little more garbled than usual, background sounds of perpetual rain and water gushing every which where aside...]

Man, that is lookin' dangerous. [The video feed blips in and out and seems to settle in the school's boiler room. It's flooded pretty badly, and of course Raiden is up to this torso in it, desperately trying to fix bursting pipes.]

Like this guy, what he's doin' looks pretty dangerous.

[OH... CRAP IS THAT WHEATLEY? Raiden looks surprised--wait, this looks like the green one.] Hey... shouldn't you be som--[Raiden is suddenly and none too gloriously spit in the face by pipe, complete with GGBLGBGBGLLBGGG sputtering sounds.]

For all we know those could be eel infested waters. Electric eel shark hybrids! On steroids.

What?! You're lying. There's nothing down here. [WAS THAT A SHADOW... he honestly wouldn't put it past this school...] Why don't you actually be some help and turn on a light or something?

Can do, but don't say I didn't warn you--they're attracted to the light. Probably. [Behold, Rick has a flashlight. It unfortunately only helps illuminate a small area in front of Raiden. Another pipe bursts behind the soaked blonde and he finally throws his hands up in the air, making a big, frustrated splash. It looks like he's been at this for hours, to no avail.]

That's it! Hey, if you're broadcasting to the network...?

[He sloshes up to Rick, peering up into his big green robot eyeball.] Someone send an actual plumber down here! I'm not qualified for this! This is too much.


[[LMAO EDIT: For all intents and purposes, Rick will effectively be acting as a telephone for Raiden, and only able to translate replies into audio.]]

It has come to my attention recently that we have enough of the walking dead among our students and faculty to form an official club of some sort. I think it's high time we had something of a support system, or exclusive activities that the living just wouldn't understand.

I could only be a faculty advisor if this came to be, but surely there would be enough interest amongst student club members to really get things going?

[Watt isn't looking at the screen just yet, she appears to be fixated on a small clock beside her computer.]

Wait for it...

[She leans closer to the clock, squinting her eyes.]

Waaaaaait for it...

[After a short while, her eyes and her smile are as wide as ever.]

FINALLY! It's my birthday! Wheeeeeee!

[She finally looks at the screen, showing off the clock to whoever's watching. Yup, it's midnight!]

See, see? Um, now I'm another year older! This is really really exciting! But, um, I don't even know what to do today...I know that I wanna do something that's a lot of fun, but I dunno what! Maybe I should go to bed soon, 'cause it is kinda late, but...hee hee, I'm too excited!

I do not do pageants.

The next person to ask me to do this pageant nonsense will lose an arm.

[Who is that shrouded figure floating through the halls this Valentine's Day? A GHOST!?!? No, it's just Flurrie, covered head to toe in black. She won't speak to you at first; instead all you'll get is a sniffle and maybe a sigh. If there is any kind of seating nearby, she might rush past you to swoon on it. At other times of the day, she's in her office with the door shut tight. She's also left a curious message on the network:]

My apologies, but due to certain circumstances I am forced to cancel my office hours today. I... I want to be alone!

[Ever wondered what a drama queen in mourning looked like? Now you know. The question remains: what's got her so upset?]

Some birthday cards came in the mail for me today. I even got a batch of sweet shrooms from my family. While I appreciate the thought, I find it a bit strange I'm receiving all these things so early. My birthday isn't even until-

[He looks at the date at the corner of his computer screen. Oh look, it's February 4th. ] tomorrow!

[He smiled pleasantly at the screen before his eyes popped wide open realization. ] T-t-tomorrow?!  [Parakarry frantically double-checked the date. To his embarrassment, it read 2/4. His birthday crept up on him this year. ]

Not again.