Greetings, residents of the academy. I've heard that many of you are plagued with a sickness. [A definitely inappropriate-for-the-situation giggle.] How unfortunate for you!

[That’s all the pity you’ll get.. if you can even call it that.]

Anyone finding themselves with this illness hopefully isn't one of my students. I have to say I’m rather unforgiving of absences... excused or not.

Oh, and in case you haven’t figured it out [Yes, that’s a taunt to you ‘slower to come to realization than normal’ individuals] I’m one of the new teachers. Hiii!!!!

Now tell me: who are you and what do you do here? [Yes, she wants to meet as many of you as she can. Not necessarily because she’s friendly, but more so to keep a good tab on who’s what and so on.]

When he came to, his vision phased into a classroom from the grainy blur it started out as. Rows of desks lined up from the back where he sat, in a desk of his own.

It was always a goddamn desk. Mondo was sure by now that the haziest points of his memory all revolved around this one unremarkable piece of furniture. It had nothing to do with his inability to cogitate class lectures, which were also the number one most fuzzy and tremendously dull moments in his traffic accident of a life. No. It was like a teleportation pad that transported him across voids sundered by his amnesia.

And this was the third time he'd woken up in one without ever recalling sitting down in it.

----

( What a ride )
----

...he was completely shaken.

[[Ever since AU month sort of came to a close, Mondo's been missing. His stuff isn't gone, so it doesn't seem like he's gone forever, but has he always been this... well, not here? The truth is, he's been gulped up by one of those rips in spacetime and hasn't returned until now. Spooky. Well, just in time for Halloween! Mondo's gonna start moseying around in crisis mode now, so go ahead and run into him if you'd like. I swear I didn't mean to make a KI: Uprising reference; that's not the kind of crisis mode he's in]]

( [SUPER BACKDATED HOSPITAL ACTION.] )

[MEANWHILE IN THE MORE OR LESS PRESENT she was actually making a video post, which happened practically never. It was, however, still too cumbersome to type very well, and she had a number of things to bring up. None of which were her extended absence, which she didn't expect anyone to actually notice.]

Hello... I'd like to apologize for the disarray in the library. We are working to put it back in order as quickly as we can.

[Because it got wrecked. Wheatley has been doing the best he can, but he was Wheatley. Things were going about as well as anyone could expect.]

In order to speed this process, I would like to ask if there is anyone currently present that is skilled with robotics? My assistant's robotic chassis was... unfortunately incapacitated. It would be greatly appreciated if we could ask for your assistance in repairing it.

[She looks about as uncomfortable as someone who only linefaces could. The little girl looked down at her desk for a few moments and then she picked up a piece of paper with a crude drawing of a flower on it, holding it up to fill the whole frame.]

... I am also... searching for this flower, if anyone has seen one. There used to be a small patch of them in the forest, but that part of the forest no longer exists. I do not know where else to look... They are somewhat large, and come in different colors. I would be very grateful if anyone could point me to where they have seen one. It is... very important.

Thank you.

So this is Smash Academy, huh...

[The tablet is already transmitting, but it seems that it's being held upside-down by someone looking out over the campus green... from about twenty feet above it, on top of the fountain, to be exact.]

Pretty cool. A guy could get used to campus life here!

[Okay, NOW the view lurches and rights itself as its owner lifts it to talk, and the grinning fuzzy face of a cobalt-blue hedgehog fills the screen.]

Hey guys! The name's Sonic; Sonic the Hedgehog! And it looks like I'm a student here now! Cool to meet you guys! Oh hey, if there's a... [he rustles a wad of disorganized papers, looking them over.] Marie, watchin' this? Guess what? I'm your new roommate!

[EDIT: Action]

[So Sonic eventually found the paper with his room number in the wad of forms and pamphlets he'd received, and after an afternoon of zipping around campus eventually made it up to BE-15 to meet his new roommate.]

Knock knock! [Knock knock.]

That island... It is Professor Hector's laboratory. I am certain of it. The shape and dimensions are identical. However I am uncertain why it is flying... All systems should have been rendered inoperable.

If some external force has gained access to Professor Hector's laboratory, I must find out. I am going to the island. Should anyone wish to accompany me, I would be grateful for the assistance.

I've been thinking pretty hard about this for the last few days, and I'm really not any closer to figuring out an answer... I mean, there's no denying that what's going on is trouble. The sky looks freaky, we're cut off from our homes...

But aren't these shadow bug things, well, alive? Do we have a right to kill them? My dad wanted me to respect and value all life. I guess I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do when my enemy isn't another robot...

[Video, to students taking his class]

Greetings. To the newbies in the school, my name is Dr. Gordon Freeman and I'm the physics teacher here. Now, much as no one wants to admit it, the school year is coming up on us fast. Enclosed with this transmission is a list of supplies and books you'll need for my class this fall.

[Private, to Mac]

Hey kid, are you ready for another year?

[To faculty, plus Ishimaru]

Hey, has anyone learned anything new on this shadow bug situation? Best I can figure is that it's all coming from the world on the other side of those rifts up above us. Those clones might be part of their life-cycle, a sort of parasitic larva-to-adult transition... I wish I could say that it's the first time I've seen something like that. If anyone has any information, I want to know.

I'm going to see how deep the rabbit hole goes. If you're armed or can otherwise defend yourself, you can come. Maybe. Let me know.

[The action part of this post is the part where you go visit Falcon in the autoshop or go on a bunkerventure with Falcon and absolutely nothing is different about Falcon at all.]

TOGES, NAEGS, HINA WHERE ARE YOU I'M IN A SCHOOL WHERE THERE ARE FREAKING WINDOWS THAT YOU CAN SEE OUT OF AND THE SKY LOOKS SORT OF ALMOST NORMAL AND THIS COMPUTER LAB ACTUALLY HAS WORKING COMPUTERS AND FOR SOME REASON I HAD AN ACCOUNT ON IT.

ARE YOU GUYS HERE, TOO?

HINA?

HE'S HUNGRY.

I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.

HINA???????
HINA?????????
٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ HINA?!?!?!?!?! ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)

.. .. .. .. ..

[A new face shows up on the feed with a cool countenance and a pair of blocky shades obscuring his eyes. He tips his head just enough for the sunglasses to catch the light from the laptop screen and glint, but he says nothing for a good, long moment.

And while it might go unnoticed, he swallows. He begins to mumble to himself. (Hover over the text for translation.)]

...... ... ...

[Struggling to find the words to introduce himself, Machi grips onto his arm. Nobody here would understand Borginian, but that was the only way he was used to introducing himself. He angles his head downward for a moment.]

... ...This language, I understand little. I try learn... learning it. I must. Excuse my poor speaking.

My name is Machi Tobaye. Here, I am s-student... Never do school, before. No big school. Me, I do piano, like piano. ... ...

Sorry. ... I not speak well, yet. I want improve. I want practice. So, please talk with me.

Are there any other psychics at school? Am I the only one having weird splintering-of-reality headaches?

Normally I get, like, three or four random psychic flashes a day, but I've been having three or four an hour for the last two days and it's starting to get confusing and painful, dude. Like, it's just... like reality is fragmenting into little splinters and then reforming itself back into the world, but the crack-marks are still there and I can feel them grating on the tip of my tongue when I drink things.

Sometimes I think I have a beard, but then I don't have a beard.

Am I the only one? Is anyone else getting phantom beards or needles mouth or fragments of reality tearing at the corners of your eyes?

[Hey! It's this guy again! Last time he was on the network, he encouraged acts of arson. So, you know this is probably going to be just as great.]

Hagakure... and I guess any other kids who're at a loss for somethin' constructive to do.

[OK. Good start. Bored kids. Summer vacation. Wait... constructive?]

Got permission and materials to set up that chicken coop you wanted to see about buildin', Hagakure. Got a few sets of plans to pick from, so come and see me whenever you got the time. If you're still interested.

[Aw.]

....also, just a quick question. How routine is it that school functions get crashed by giant robot monkeys? Where I'm from you just used to worry about drunk frat boys swingin' on by.

{{OOC: So if you're interested in making a Chicken Coop come and see Joel. In the woodshop room. Wear denim overalls. Required equipment for this exercise. ]]

[Hello friends, please enjoy this cheerful British voice. Wheatley sounds especially cheerful today. What could he possibly be so happy about?]

So! I'm pretty sure Rick is--Rick is dead, which is great news, if you knew him. Went down to the bunkers, last I heard, didn't come back. Probably a good indication that he is--that he is, in fact, dead.

[Oh.]

It's all right, it's all right, go ahead, breathe that sigh of relief, no one's--no one's going to judge you, trust me, we all felt the same way about that tosser.

But, uh, if you were friends with him, for some ungodly reason that I can't possibly fathom, I'm, ah. Sorry for your loss. If you didn't know him, well, let's just say you're better off. Good riddance to bad rubbish, if you ask me.

[ After finally learning how to operate technology on a basic level, a young pale-skinned lady can be seen on video. ]

I hope I'm doing this right... this is all so strange.

If only this were a battle, I know exactly what I'd do. But... no, I must press on. Yes, I should introduce myself first.

[ She clears her throat, it's been a couple of months since she said these words. ]

I am the daughter of Lu Bu. It is my duty to lead everyone to victory!

...O-Oh, no!

[ She realizes that she forgot to press what she thinks is the "record" button and corrects herself, not noticing that the camera has in fact been recording this whole time. ]

--I am the daughter of Lu Bu. It is my duty to lead everyone to victory!

[ Much better! ]

[Joel is on screen, looking about as happy as he ever does. But there seems to be a few black smears on his face, like soot.]

Lotta folks havin' troubles with these little bugs it seems like.

Not that I'm encouraging you kids to burn the place down? But they go up real good.

I got a flamethrower I can bring around to help out if anyone's got it really bad. But if you've got a lighter and a can of hairspray, that'd work just as well.

[Weaponry you can make in the comfort of your own home!]

Just make sure to have a fire extinguisher on hand.

...and be careful.

I'm not used to this journal thing. I've written in a book journal now and again, but typing things out, well, I'm just too %#$^ busy, y'know? Sorry 'bout that, if you're interested in the mind of some old has-been. Well, that's why I'm writin' this now. I'm tired of being a once-was. I've spent enough time sitting on my lazy ass, flying the Highwind around uselessly. If I'm going to get home, I'm going to need to work for it. That Valentines whatever reminded me of what I really missed. I need'a see Shera. I need'a be back in Rocket Town, at least for a little while.

So I'm going to do what I should'a done long ago. I'm going to see this whole world from above, with my own ship. Falcon, seeing it with yours was eye opening. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. The world didn't match any of my maps, and I have a feeling it will be different again when I go up next. In fact, I look forward to it. Seeing everything below me, out of something I put my heart into, that'll make it real. That'll be the truth.

But even the best engineer can't make a rocket alone. I'll need some help. My crew can do a lot of the heavy lifting, but there's more to a rocket than just putting it together. Supplies, extra hands, power, design help. Any of you that can help with it, would be appreciated. I know mechanics, but if we can get some magic, some'a the crazy stuff I've seen from the future around here too, I think we might build a rocket worth building.

So what kind of experience do any of you have with big power sources? What're the chances anyone here knows of a good source of working metal? Any of you ever built some thirty-some story structure of any kind?

Good evening, students and faculty.

My name is Quistis Trepe. I will be teaching a class on Magic henceforth. As of now, the curriculum will focus on both offensive and defensive magic as well as support magic. Practice and theory of, as well. All areas will be covered to the fullest extent of my capabilities within the time allotted (or until multiple classes are formed on the subject).

I am not a difficult teacher. All I ask is that as my students, you listen, learn, do not interrupt while I am speaking, and keep your feet off your desks. Please take care not to harm yourselves or others with reckless behavior. I do not think this is asking for much.

As for my colleagues, a round of coffee (or tea, if you rather), is on me.


ACTION.
[ Being new to the scene, unsurprisingly, Quistis can be found exploring the campus grounds and the nearby city. She opts to eat her lunch out in the courtyard despite the chilly weather and may be found browsing the library, enjoying her break with a book in the teacher's lounge, or languidly maneuvering the hallways as if she might just be lost. If it is in the evening, she will be heading for her room in the faculty dorms (TD-12) Regardless, she looks approachable though perhaps a touch uncomfortable; that's what her body language suggests, at least. ]

[Here's a guy who doesn't look at all comfortable at a computer. But he's managed to set himself up with a video post anyway. Because that might be better, should Ellie somehow come across it.]

Look, I never took the brown acid, OK? So I got no idea why a giant hand would tell me I'm teaching carpentry at this school. Wood shop. Whatever. Maybe I've finally gone nuts...

[A pause. Beard stroking pause. Glaring at the camera pause.]

Look, I gotta get back to where I'm from. Nice to see somewhere in the world hasn't been overrun by infected or hunters yet. Y'all have a nice set up here. But I need to find a way back to where I'm supposed to be. I got people relyin' on me, OK? Anyone can help me out with that, I'd be somewhat obliged.

....Ellie, you happen to see this, let me know. I'm in the teachers dorms.