[TEXT / ACTION] all all apologies

[forgetbeam]

[It had been a long month of ups and downs. Mostly downs. While Hajime was able to pull Kiyotaka out of a state of self-loathing depression after his failure to bring about change to the school and subsequent removal from the Disciplinary Committee, the drawn-out tantrum that followed was a complete trainwreck for anyone unfortunate enough to come across "Ishida." But the raging emotions had taken their toll on him mentally while the few intense fights he got into wore him down physically, and eventually young Vivian finally talked him down from the brink of virtual insanity, still believing in him even after his attempts to push her away.

The first thing he did when he parted ways with his former partner was crash in one of the temporary dorms for half a day. Then he grabbed whatever he could from the cafeteria and filled his stomach, though it took a lot less to get the job done than it felt like he was going to need. Full and somewhat-rested, but still sore and emotionally exhausted, he sat alone in what used to be the Disciplinary Committee's meeting room with his hands folded on the table in front of him, in deep reflection for well over an hour.

He needed to apologize to people, that much was certain. It was also a sure thing that an apology wasn't enough, and he feared that there was no way to even begin mending the damage he'd done with certain people. But... he had to try. That was all he could do. Even if he had no idea how, there was no way he could just sit and do nothing. He was through running away; he settled on that much when he stopped hiding behind Ishida.

If only the people he most wanted advice from weren't among those he needed to speak to in the first place.

Just how many people did he need to reach out to, anyway? His memories of the past month were clouded by anger and regret, the things that broke his heart most standing out a lot more than some smaller incidents which no doubt were in just as much need of atonement. The network seemed like a good start, he decided. Efficient and wide-reaching.

And so, from a terminal in the library:]

I understand that there is no excuse for my recent behaviour. I will do everything in my power to make up for any trouble I have caused.

I must also announce that I am no longer a hall monitor or the head of the Disciplinary Committee. This has been the case for several weeks. Do not think that means that you have free reign to cause chaos.

[Yeah, but chaos is gonna happen anyway, AS USUAL.

Anyway, with that done, he lingers in the library for a little while before beginning the trek back to his dorm. He's been dreading going back for the first time since Valentine's Day, but it can't be avoided any longer. Unless he runs into someone else along the way.]

Comments

aaaaacktshun

[butterbelieveamanspromise]

[The door opening wakes him from his nap. Normally he'd be groggier, but he's quick to realize not just anyone could open the door to the room like this and raises his upper body to a sitting position. And watches. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, but he's alert for a sleepyhead.

It's been a while since anyone's opened this door but him...]

[forgetbeam]

[Part of him had been hoping Mondo was out, so maybe he'd have more time to go over things in his head and figure out how to solve this. This was the confrontation that stirred up the most conflict in his heart for many reasons. He knows he said some hurtful, hateful things to him. Things he's shocked he was even capable of thinking up. He wants to deny that he ever really could, that he didn't mean any of it, but... it had to come from somewhere, right?

Not only that, but the fact remains that even before their violent argument, Mondo had gone behind his back and betrayed him. Kiyotaka wonders what that means, what he means to him for him to do a thing like that, and what else he might have done. He wants to have faith in his brother, but that faith has been shattered and the shards turned against him before.

Are they even brothers anymore?

He stands awkwardly in the doorway, unable to look Mondo in the eye while he searches for the words. No matter what Mondo's feelings on the true nature of their friendship are, he has to be honest about his own.]

...I'm... home.

[A safe enough start, right? Ugh, no, he already feels stupid. This was a mistake, he should leave.]

::REACTION::

[ihateplumbers]

::Bowser spends a couple of hours laughing his scaly ass off after reading this post. He has it printed off and framed; it hangs on his wall. He looks at it whenever he's feeling glum.::

[forgetbeam]

[He can feel the love and comfort from here...]

LIBRARY ACTION

[iksb]

[ maybe it's because Kiyotaka's been staring at his computer for ages, that he doesn't notice that a certain SHSL Soldier is sitting on the shelf above it. she was perched on a tree outside, checking on the network on her phone.

and she sees this post which is so un... kiyotaka-like that mukuro was concerned. so concerned that she forgot that normal people used doors and corridors and hallways. she jumped through the trees and slid into the library first, where she entered through the open window high up. she travelled on the tops of library shelves before she managed to find a familiar crop of black hair and kiyotaka's frame at a computer.

she took no qualms in sitting on the shelf hanging above his head. kiyotaka might notice if he looks up, that she's sitting cross legged and staring at him quite intently. ]

[forgetbeam]

[He's been tired before. Exam season always wears him down by the end, especially since he's the kind of guy to overwork himself for those. But this tiredness is something else, so much so that he doesn't even care that he shouldn't lean back in the computer chair and rest his eyes some more. He starts to do it anyway.

Until he notices something up above him. Someone. The realization that there's a human-looking thing on the shelf is startling enough to almost make him tip the chair right over, good going, Mukuro.]

Ngh-!

[It's okay, though, after some stupid-looking flailing, he catches himself.]

[text]

[glazedandconfused]

Oh. You're back.

[forgetbeam]

I am sorry for what I did to your chocolates.

text

[andthefungoeson]

& hEr i thot u loosend ^ a ltl

lame

[forgetbeam]

[HE JUST KIND OF STARES AT THIS FOR A WHOLE MINUTE

WHAT DOES IT EVEN... SAY...]

Your keyboard is broken.

ACTION

[cowardlyjustice]

[Next to Kiyotaka came the sound of a chair being pulled from the desk, possibly intended to be so annoyingly loud before the offender sat on it.]

Hey.

[forgetbeam]

[WELL WELL WELL IF IT ISN'T MR. "TRY TO KILL PEOPLE WITH SWEETNESS." How did Kiyotaka get out from under that giant sugar block anyway? We just don't know.

He is pretty sure he smacked Brown at some point... That's awkward.]

Uesugi.

ACTION

[inspirethefire]

[Hajime didn't check the network often enough to have caught the message yet, but it wouldn't matter in the long run--their rooms are right by one another, and Hajime was just leaving for the gym as Kiyotaka returned.]

Oh--

[For him, it only took a glance to immediately see the difference from Kiyotaka's destructive spirit before. Hajime stopped in his tracks, relief slamming over him in a heavy wave. For just a few moment he stares, floored by the sight of a normal spirit.

Well, more normal, at least, not to where Kiyotaka had been before, but--then the waves of guilt and regret set in.]

I'm... glad to see you're doing better.

[forgetbeam]

[He also pauses in the middle of the hall, another flood of shame washing over him. Hajime had to be disappointed in all of his poor choices, and why shouldn't he be? He took his inspirational words and completely bastardized them. Fought back against someone who still tried to believe in him. What a mess.]

...You were right, Tanaka.

[Crashed and burned.]

text.

[nagyka]

[ She's new and he probably already has enough on his plate with... whatever, though Quistis can always appreciate someone who owns up to whatever mistakes they've made. So, she focuses on one part of this post in particular. (Perhaps it will be a refreshing turn of conversation for the poster, as well.) ]

Disciplinary Committee.

[forgetbeam]

[Refreshingly PAINFULLLLL.]

Former Disciplinary Committee.

[text]

[voltecpower]

[Pulse was still adjusting to the new semester, and with so many of his friends moving out. Despite his technological nature, he wasn't all that great at handling change. Not only that, but he was starting to feel rather lonely, and was wondering if it would be best if he went back to the world he knew as well... But he had made a promise to get stronger, and those people he was forsaking contact with were depending on him. He had to stay.

When Ishimaru's message came up on the network BBS, Pulse took great notice. While he had been out to handle yet another spate of cyber threats on the FDC metropolitan area network, he had been missing out on so many things going on in the real world. Pulse still didn't know Ishumaru all that well, but he was one of the few people he felt like he was on the same wavelength with... and nowadays, he was probably the only one left at the school. He still wasn't very good at socializing, but he needed to get to know Ishimaru more.

Reading over the message, Pulse began to feel concerned, wondering what could have happened to cause Ishimaru to lose his position. Maybe this wasn't the best time to try to approach him. He was already aware of the small group of people at the school who already knew Ishimaru from elsewhere and spoke to him often; since he already had close friends here, he would be better off going to them with his problems... right?

Nevertheless...]

Ishimaru, is there anything I can do to help?

[forgetbeam]

All there is to be done at this point is continue to encourage our peers to behave and do their best. Anybody is allowed to do something like that, right?

[It. Didn't take him long to fall back on old habits.]

[rushed text]

[richasshole]

back to normal then are we

[forgetbeam]

[GENTLY CARESS for a blissful moment there he almost forgot what went down between them on Valentine's Day. ALMOST.

How did that happen...]

Yes.

That will not be happening again.

[Video]

[deathboss]

[He it's that guy! W-wait what...?!]

What the hell happened?!

[Do you remember this guy?]

[text for life]

[forgetbeam]

I do not want to talk about it.

[HEY, THAT'S...]

When did you get back, Mishina?

private-o

[cplusplus]

At least, you feel much better, right?

[Granted, he was still too hesitant to let Alter Ego out thanks to unmentionable incidents, but Kiyotaka was still a friend and he was still concern of him.]

[forgetbeam]

[He still feels like GARBAGE.]

What matters more is that I can think more rationally.

[crystal_ballin]

Don't do that again, dude. I don't like it when you go crazy like that.

[forgetbeam]

I do not like it either. I promise, I will not let it happen again.

[And then, after a moment's consideration...]

It was the same as what happened before, wasn't it?

late but WHO CARES??? (sob)/ text

[star_punched]

[He stared at this post. He stared at this post for a while. He had to think really hard about what he just read.

Then it just made him disappointed.]

So...you're just gonna quit doin' what you did before? Is that what you want?

I CARE, NEVER TAGGING AGAIN

[forgetbeam]

It does not matter what I want. What matters is taking responsibility for my actions and accepting the consequences.