[The most disgruntled video]

[idowhatilike]

[ A new woman has appeared on your campus, Smash, and she looks less than thrilled about her situation. At first it was rather exciting, but now she's just narrowing her new human eyes at all you little snot balls and desiring nothing more than to leave. When she speaks, her face remains somewhat deadpan, but she is going to try to sound like she cares about what she's saying. Here we go. ]

I was told to introduce myself. [ That was probably not the greatest start. ] My name is Evve, and I would like to point out that I am an Eevee, not a human, but for the sake of convenience with language barriers, we're gonna roll with this. [ She leans back in her chair, sharp copper eyes rolling toward the ceiling. ] I'm apparently a new member of some team of authoritative figures, which means I have to make sure no one does anything stupid, which is basically like asking for the impossible, so, yeah. PFFT. Okay.

[ With a sharp, long exhale, she looks at the camera. ] Buuuut if we could just make this easier and everyone just sit in one spot for the rest of their time here at this academy, I would really appreciate the cooperation. Yeah? [ She nods. ] Yeeeeah.

[ ooc: Evve is pretty much going to stay in human form unless noted otherwise. I JUST LACK ICONS FOR NOW. okay, thanks. BYE. ]

Comments

[text]

[obfuskate]

[...

Is this.

A new.

Truancy Officer.

...

Well, at least there's someone who seems to be a little sane in this gang of three now.]

Good.

Your first line of duty is examining the rules of our faction.

I. Before morning duties begin, one must place the muzzle on the mole. Do so with great care, lest he have a stroke in retaliation. (Note: It may or may not be faked.)
II. No going through each other's private belongings. This includes in the office. Be professional, not childish.
III. No screaming. This will apply less to anyone without the name of one Mister Sonny Resetti.
IV. I mean it, no screaming. There will be repercussions.
V. Lunch is to be taken from 12 PM to 12:30 PM. However, you will still be considered `on duty` at lunch. You will understand once you have witnessed cafeteria hours for the first time.
VI. Absolutely no food and drink in the office. This includes sneaking snacks. Resetti, there will be no pretzels on the premises whatsoever.
VII. Maintain orderly conduct. Unless you must scold Resetti, then by all means.
VIII. No screaming.

Be sure to follow these.

[text]

[idowhatilike]

That sounds like a lot of obligation.

Do you have a kid's menu I can work off of?

Re: [text]

[obfuskate]

[....................

Fine.

He'll humor you.]

I. No screaming.

At least adhere to this much.

[Video]

[fullunlifeconsequences]

[SO MANY EEVEE FAMILY MEMBERS LATELY. Blacky is too thrilled to be put off by a cold demeanor.]

Aah, it's been some time since I've seen an Eevee! Welcome to the Academy. I'm afraid expecting the students not to do anything stupid is a futile effort, however.

Re: [Video]

[idowhatilike]

As welcoming as this can be...

But yeah, I wasn't going to get my hopes up, considering the lot that runs this place to begin with had me questioning the integrity of the school.

[ She's eyeing the feed with some criticism to what she's seeing. Is she a... Hmm. ]

[fullunlifeconsequences]

[Stop staring at me nooooooo]

...I certainly wouldn't judge anything by the assistant head master. He's... truly a unique case.

[Yeah. That's one way to put it.]

Anyway, I know it can be a little difficult to adjust to a place like this. I'd be happy to do what I can to help you settle in, if you need anything. My name's Blacky.

[video]

[hissyfit]

[This Eevee thinks it's tough shit. This may be the most hilarious thing Eli's seen in a long while. It doesn't show, though, and she's looking as unimpressed as ever.]

Do you really expect anyone to take an Eevee seriously as a figure of authority?

[idowhatilike]

No.

[ NOW WHAT. ]

[hissyfit]

Good.

[FRGHHFGHF.]

[video]

[iaiai]

You should smile!

Re: [video]

[idowhatilike]

[ STARE.

No smiles here. ]

[video]

[iaiai]

[Ai cocks her head, presses a fingertip to both corners of her mouth and pulls up into a smile!]

Like that!

[Video]

[boo_blimp_babe]

Authority? [Snicker... snicker... snort... laugh]

Man did you get the shit end of the stick with that job ahahaha.

Best of luck and all that dumb bullshit. To be honest, you're better off sittin' back, enjoyin' the pay and lettin' the fucktards continue doin' whatever they like.

It'll be easier on you, trust me.

Re: [Video]

[idowhatilike]

Oh, look, you've unravelled my plan.

[ She conjures up a small smirk. ]

I don't know what they were thinking when they thought I was the Eevee for the job, but it's my belief that the moment authority is out of sight, the children will poke their own eyes out with sticks.

Re: [Video]

[boo_blimp_babe]

Shit that would be the least of yer worries gurl. [Charlise grinned as she popped a purple lollipop into her mouth.]

No one really pushes rules up in this shit generally unless shit goes down. Fucked up shit is, that when shit does go down, they take it to a whole new level sometimes.

Video

[thewrightidea]

[Phoenix notices the unwelcoming disposition, but still tries to be as nice as he can possibly be.]

Ah, welcome to the school Ms. Evve. I'm Phoenix Wright, the political science instructor. If you need any help getting acclimated, I will gladly be of service.

The students can be a bit unruly, but really, most of them are nice kids.

[Video]

[idowhatilike]

[ She gives Mr. Wright the once over (as much as she can via video feed) and serves up a firm nod. ]

That's a great deal of confidence you have in the student body. [ Pause. ] And the staff.

Your positivity is commendable.

[ Is she... serious? ]

[audio]

[explosion_day]

[You have attracted the attention of a most manly sounding voice.]

Position of authority can be mighty dangerous, even for a gorgeous woman such as yourself. Stupidity lurks at every turn.

For example, that blue guy in the library? Full of stupid.

[audio]

[idowhatilike]

[ Oh. Great. It sounds like she picked up a real winner here. Complimenting her human body? Bad idea.

STRIKE ONE. ]

And how do you define 'stupid'? Are you around every corner?

[will_be_god]

A figure of authority...what do you believe qualifies you for this role?

[idowhatilike]

Absolutely nothing.

[ She sounds proud of that fact. ]

[Video]

[bassinyoface]

I like you already toots. You already have excepted how stupid it is to try and control us.

[Video]

[idowhatilike]

I just have incredibly low expectations of everyone's morality.

[jonny_talbain]

[Ah, look at that. Another member of the lineface club. Jon approves.]

An Eevee, eh? Welcome to the Academy.

Being in a position of authority here is going to be a challenge. Good luck, keep a stiff upper lip and don't allow the hoodlums any quarter.

[idowhatilike]

[ Hell yes. No niceties up in here. ]

I suppose it's only a challenge if I choose to contend with it, right?
Besides, I'm not equipped to deal with hoodlums, vandals, or otherwise restless delinquents with nothing constructive to do.