☭ один [1] -- TEXT, ACTION

[colonelcrotchgrab]

* * * * * * Attn Students, Co-Workers, Interested Parties: * * * * * *


I am back teaching at your facility. My area of expertise, if you so remember me, will be "Culinary Arts". It carries an emphasis in Russian cooking around the late 19th, early 20th century. If you are not willing to accept the knowledge of my people so generously offered, then you are free to arrange a time and a place between the both of us, using my contact information below:

e-mail: y.volgin@smash.edu
messenger: ybvolgin
office: [Office Location -- it's in the cluster near his class]

I will swiftly mend your erroneous ways.

It is a pleasure.

- Y.B.V.



[[ ACTION // Volgin arrives back home. ]]

[Okay, placeholder here, but all you need to know is Volgin dispatched Katya and trashed the place. She's in the toilet. I'll flower something out in a few.]

Comments

action;

[majorcrotchgrab.livejournal.com]

[After coming home from grocery shopping, Raikov finally returned to his apartment. At first, he hadn't noticed the door was wide open but he knew something was definitely wrong when he saw that his living room had been TRASHED.]

Wha...

[Smashed table, turned over couch... String Shot everywhere. This was almost as bad as when Volgin had gotten into that fight with Char and Alex. ... Wait a minute. The door was open, the place was trashed, and Katya was no where to be seen.]

... KATYA! KATYA, WHERE ARE YOU?

[He searches through the wreck, looking for his ever-so-tiny Pokemon, clueless as to who else made this mess.]

action;

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Very likely, it was going to be the last thing Raikov suspected, as the offender roused from his nap, still shuddering off the last spasms of the damn bug's paralysis.

Then, the words registered. "Katya" was most definitely a name. A female one? Or a pet name for another lover?

Volgin internally frowned at this potential. The bed creaked and groaned, possibly enough for Raikov's ears to catch and perhaps find the older man in mid-rise.]

[animu-nerd.livejournal.com]

[Noooooooo....]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[W-wait. Do I know you? Or should I get to know you by threatening you to build me interesting things?]

[jeweloflife.livejournal.com]

Oh, there you are!

TEXT?

[colonelcrotchgrab]

You.

You're still God and such, aren't you?

[text]

[badasscopters.livejournal.com]

Not a good idea to just throw your e-mail willy-nilly.

Dunno what the brats might send you.

[or him, he might send dicks]

Text

[colonelcrotchgrab]

They can send me what they please.

If I don't like it, I will send myself over. I have dormitory listings.

[Luckily, Volgin swings both ways, but you don't smother yourself in honey and tell the bears off either.]

[rivalsweetscent]

[Nnnnnnnnoooooooooooo-]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Oh. Hai. I do remember your friend, Lesser Frog Thing. Yeah, I will have a word with him at some point. Believe you me.]

[punchtheflute.livejournal.com]

[......aw gosh golly darn it darn it darn it.]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Yeah, you better worry. You're making sure Raikov gets twice the cake you've been allowing him.

(Ideally, this would be all of it.)]

[whitedeviljack.livejournal.com]

[......]

[whitedeviljack.livejournal.com]

[HIS CROTCH IS ALREADY CURLING IN PAIN JUST READING THE TEXT.

NO. GO AWAY.

GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK.]

[audio]

[icequeen-aran.livejournal.com]

[WHAT AN INTERESTING TURN OF EVENTS. Perhaps she can busy herself with other activities that don't involve searching for a frustratingly elusive REX, and instead search for a frustratingly elusive nugget of cash.]

Back again?

[Or maybe look into seeing what kind of price is on his head since Giovanni was worth less than a cup of coffee...]

[audio]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[He clears his throat.]

Testing...

[Hrnuh. The sound of some fiddling. The volume is being adjusted.

Been awhile since he used the audio system before on his handheld. Give the old man a minute, his useless scalp and all.]

Can you hear me?

oh look it is your favorite student

[notstevejobs.livejournal.com]

Hi, Mr. Volgin! Welcome back.

o no not you

[colonelcrotchgrab]

How kind of you.

And how have your concepts flourished in my debilitating absence?

I wasn't there in the intro post so I'll just say here, OMG HELLO DEE BABE~!

[boxingmidget.livejournal.com]

[Oh. Um. Well. Darn.]

Welcome back, Mr. Volgin. Sir.

y hallooooo bbeh <33

[colonelcrotchgrab]

I appreciate your fine use of the word "sir" in our correspondence.

We're off to a good start already.

[jonny-talbain.livejournal.com]

[....you've piqued his interest.]

Any particular reason to concentrate on late 19th and early 20th century food?

TEXT

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[OH SHIT A WEREWOLF. But he has no idea.]

Specialty. Familiarity.

You could very well say I've lived it.

[video]

[maskxdemasque.livejournal.com]

[[Ron appears to almost say something, but then he sort of stutters over his own words. He decides to rephrase.]]

Ummm... ... Is this for

[video]

[majorcrotchgrab.livejournal.com]

[Oh. Oh. This man...! Raikov looks quite surprised at this reply]

How... beautiful!

[He looks off camera for a moment]

Zhenya, come look!

ok finally

[punchtheflowers.livejournal.com]

[Can you hear the sound of tables being flipped into the stratosphere? FUCKKK]

WHY'RE YOU BACK.

o hai u we meat again /slush

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how smug I am.

... Nevermind you nearly killed me and put me out of commission for nearly a month, but it still stands.]

Oh. You.

Did they grow back?

video;

[punchicebergs.livejournal.com]

... Welcome back, Mr. Volgin. I assume you are well?

video;

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Volgin was alone this time, cocking a brow as the feed soon enough caught his eye. What he was doing prior to the interruption, well, who knows?]

Hn.

[He seemed more interested in his cigar before flicking his gaze to the "newcomer", studying him.]

I don't believe we have met.

1/?

[temptedthesnake]

[...]

[temptedthesnake]

[...

HAHA WAIT...]

[text]

[punchwaves]

They actually hired you? Again?

Re: [text]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

How fortunate, isn't it?

Will I see you in class?

oh look its your other favorite student

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Hey.

I ain't gonna be one of your students anymore, 'cause I'm one of the teachers now.

Text

[colonelcrotchgrab]

Oh. Good for you, boy.

Teaching what?

[text]

[miracleprayer.livejournal.com]

[Oh. Oh he's back.

On one hand, Volgin is still as terrifying as always. On the other hand, Paula did learn a bit from his cooking class.]

Welcome back, sir. I'm looking forward to learning about Russian cuisine.

[text]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

["Terrifying" and "Volgin" go together a bit like peanut butter and jelly do. Or Bonnie and Clyde. Or John Stalvern and being kill by demons.]

Good girl. I appreciate your attitude. You will go far in my class.

[Really, anyone that didn't try to piss him off these days was good enough in his class.

Too bad pissing him off was the former Soviet Union's since forgotten sport.]