001- [video] - Laytex all the way down...

[black_shadow]

[Black Shadow does not appear in public without his costume, no matter how much it looks like the school network has been invading by sketchy fetish spam. He sits with his arms folded in front of the camera, like he's sizing up everyone watching it. He clears his throat.]

...Greetings Smash Acadamy. My name is Black Shadow and you may know me as a world famous F-Zero racer and the revered Emperor of Evil! HAHAHAHAHAH!

...I am also your new Drivers Ed teacher.

I am told I can't make the class mandatory, but I strongly urge you to come. Driving is a far more vital skill than you can ever know.

As for my new...colleges: I look forward to working with you.

[He smirks briefly, like there's something about to happen and he can't wait to see how it's going to turn out. Amazing how menacing that can make a normally meaningless pleasantry.]

Comments

i told you i was going to action first but I liked [MYSTERIOUS ANONYMOUS TEXT]

[raced_god]

Not dead, huh.

[the anon text is so nobody knows that Falcon is actually cursing both loudly and prolifically and maybe kicking a trash can in pure, unadulterated rage]

WHO COULD THIS ANON BE MY GOODNESS

[black_shadow]

No doubt you're thrilled to learn this. I imagine my supposed death made quite a wave.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj7Vklv5nDk

[raced_god]

Left a big mess to clean up, if that's what you mean.

For the record, I didn't think you were dead.

[Spoilers, though: he totally allowed himself to HOPE]

[black_shadow]

Glad to hear it. I'd hate to think my reign of terror could be erased so easily.

Hard to believe anyone could think I was dead.

[raced_god]

Well, you're not. Congratulations.

[This is about where Falcon does that stupid thing he always does where he rushes headfirst into an inevitable death trap without backup, except this time he isn't about to be taken by surprise. He isn't sure if Black Shadow remembers their first encounter at the Academy--he might, given the fact that he apparently isn't even bothering to put up a front. What he does know is that he's prepared, or at least, substantially more prepared than last time.

The guy's broadcasting from an office, and the directory's already been updated, so Falcon knows where to find him, even. It's not the smartest of things to do (really, it is kind of stupid), suiting up and marching right over there, but Falcon is many things, and indirect is not necessarily one of them.

HE KNOCKS

ON THE DOOR.]

[action]

[bloodvile]

[GUESS WHO WAS TOO EXCITED TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO KEYSMASH A LOT/MAKE THE STUPID COMPUTERS WORK AND JUST RAN DOWN THE HALL POSSIBLY IN CIRCLES UNTIL HE FOUND BLACK SHADOW AND BUST INTO HIS OFFICE...

this guy.]

You're here!

[black_shadow]

[This was inevitable.

Black Shadow had known someone would know him: how far does an infamous racing star/criminal have to go before he isn't recognized?

But somehow, Shadow is sure that the person who knocked on the door isn't someone he has to worry about. They knocked on the door, for crying out loud! If it were Falcon, it would have been kicked off the hinges.

So Shadow could be forgiven for keeping his guard down and simply calling:]

It's open.

[video]

[icequeen_aran]

[Knowing Falcon would rush headfirst into this is an inevitable as the tick of a clock, and while Samus worried (and certainly wouldn't hesitate to do exactly the same), she wasn't about to stop Falcon either. Perhaps she could provide some kind of distraction while Falcon was on his way to give Black Shadow a nice big punch in his evil face.]

Were you the F-Zero racer who came in last place last championship?

[black_shadow]

I certainly am, thanks to you. Excellent work, Blood.

[Blood is on the very short list of people Black Shadow will stand up to greet, because he's also on the very short list of people that Shadow is actually glad to see. He kind of owes Blood in a roundabout way for getting him out of racing hell.]

[video]

[black_shadow]

[Greeeeeat, a smartass.]

If you knew anything about the circuit you'd know not to taunt me like that.

[raced_god]

[Oh. Oh it's open.

Falcon kicks in the door. He has his gun, and he is angry.]

I will give you one chance to leave.

[bloodvile]

[Even though they aren't exactly the touchy feely hugging types the wicked grin and excitable fist pump is well enough an equally excited greeting.]

I know you'd come back. What took you so damn long?

I've been roughing up Falcon and his friends while you've been away.

[black_shadow]

[Shadow doesn't even look at the gun, just smiling like the cat who ate the Falcon canary.]

It is against the rules to shoot your coworkers, so the Hands tell me.

["This is your life now, Falcon," is the unstated sentiment.]

[black_shadow]

I know! I was trapped in Deathborn's domain until -heheheh- until the Hands decided to talk to me about -hahahah!- your "antisocial behavior" towards Falcon!

[He can't even contain the laugh anymore, it's loud and genuine and evil and happy and genuinely happy to be evil.]

Tell me everything, Blood. I need to know what fun we can have with his little friends!

[video]

[thereyouare]

You're evil??

[raced_god]

[This is his life now.]

Yeah? Are you planning to play by those rules?

[He sure didn't play by those rules last time--Falcon has the scars to prove it. He doesn't lower his gun.]

[icequeen_aran]

I won't apologize for friendly or not so friendly banter between colleges. You'll just have to get used to it.

[bloodvile]

[SHIT SON that's something to be proud of. And hilarious. Evil happy laughter is pretty contagious and Blood chimes in.]

I trashed the library. Some brats got in my way but it was so worth it. Not all of them are complete pushovers but you know, most of them are.

The floating hands though, they put this [He tugs at the incredibly adorablely designed shock collar still around his neck.] stupid thing on me. Guess what activates it.

[Did you guess "antisocial behavior" towards Falcon because that's what it is.]

[Video]

[pyroblasters]

Emperor of Evil, eh? Doesn't exactly seem like the kinda thing you want to announce around a Hero of Justice! Though, Pyrrhon supposes he shouldn't go meddling in petty mortal affairs.

[black_shadow]

Falcon...it wounds me that you even have to ask!

[He's being deliberately cryptic, but he also isn't making any threatening moves. He wants Falcon to know that he's playing a new game without telling him the rules.]

[black_shadow]

Hmmm...we'll have to expect some resistance. Falcon's had a lot of time here to make alliances and enemies.

[What the hell is...]

Let me see that.

[He kind of...grabs Blood's head and twists it this way and that, looking for a latch on the collar. There seems to be none.]

Hmmph...I'll have to talk to the hands about this. They brought me here so that they didn't need to do things like this, after all.

[bloodvile]

[He grits his fanged teeth at the rough treatment but it's expected between gentlemen of their ilk and profession, and he voices no complaint. He'd be glad to be rid of the damn thing one way or another.]

Yeah, I hate this thing, it sucks.

[THANK YOU DADDY.]

Pretty sure I sent a few of the brats to the hospital. Even better, there's some guys here who hate Falcon too. One's a big turtle dragon. He told me his kids kidnapped Falcon's girlfriend once and stuck her in a terrarium! I could not imagine the look on his stupid face.

[video]

[black_shadow]

Was it not obvious?

[Video]

[black_shadow]

I've met many many so-called Heroes of Justice in my time. All you'll been missing out on is a chance to be killed like the rest.

[Video]

[pyroblasters]

Well, clearly you've just never been enough of a problem to warrant any divine intervention, then! Mortals can't exactly kill Gods, after all.