001- [video] - Laytex all the way down...

[black_shadow]

[Black Shadow does not appear in public without his costume, no matter how much it looks like the school network has been invading by sketchy fetish spam. He sits with his arms folded in front of the camera, like he's sizing up everyone watching it. He clears his throat.]

...Greetings Smash Acadamy. My name is Black Shadow and you may know me as a world famous F-Zero racer and the revered Emperor of Evil! HAHAHAHAHAH!

...I am also your new Drivers Ed teacher.

I am told I can't make the class mandatory, but I strongly urge you to come. Driving is a far more vital skill than you can ever know.

As for my new...colleges: I look forward to working with you.

[He smirks briefly, like there's something about to happen and he can't wait to see how it's going to turn out. Amazing how menacing that can make a normally meaningless pleasantry.]

Comments

[black_shadow]

I know! I was trapped in Deathborn's domain until -heheheh- until the Hands decided to talk to me about -hahahah!- your "antisocial behavior" towards Falcon!

[He can't even contain the laugh anymore, it's loud and genuine and evil and happy and genuinely happy to be evil.]

Tell me everything, Blood. I need to know what fun we can have with his little friends!

[bloodvile]

[SHIT SON that's something to be proud of. And hilarious. Evil happy laughter is pretty contagious and Blood chimes in.]

I trashed the library. Some brats got in my way but it was so worth it. Not all of them are complete pushovers but you know, most of them are.

The floating hands though, they put this [He tugs at the incredibly adorablely designed shock collar still around his neck.] stupid thing on me. Guess what activates it.

[Did you guess "antisocial behavior" towards Falcon because that's what it is.]

[black_shadow]

Hmmm...we'll have to expect some resistance. Falcon's had a lot of time here to make alliances and enemies.

[What the hell is...]

Let me see that.

[He kind of...grabs Blood's head and twists it this way and that, looking for a latch on the collar. There seems to be none.]

Hmmph...I'll have to talk to the hands about this. They brought me here so that they didn't need to do things like this, after all.

[bloodvile]

[He grits his fanged teeth at the rough treatment but it's expected between gentlemen of their ilk and profession, and he voices no complaint. He'd be glad to be rid of the damn thing one way or another.]

Yeah, I hate this thing, it sucks.

[THANK YOU DADDY.]

Pretty sure I sent a few of the brats to the hospital. Even better, there's some guys here who hate Falcon too. One's a big turtle dragon. He told me his kids kidnapped Falcon's girlfriend once and stuck her in a terrarium! I could not imagine the look on his stupid face.

[black_shadow]

I see...Then I should reach out to this turtle man and-

[Wait. Wait. WAIT.]

Falcon has a girlfriend!?

[bloodvile]

I know, I couldn't believe it either!

[black_shadow]

Well, it's just so heartwarming that a woman saw past Falcon's looks and his clothes and the way he talks and his personality and his terrible driving and his breath!

[bloodvile]

It's a damn shame when there's so many better and way more handsome suitors out there! She's rude and hits like a truck, too.

[black_shadow]

Let's hope she knocks his teeth in someday then.

Have you been in contact with Falcon's enemies then?

[bloodvile]

Just that Bowser Koopa guy. He's hard to miss--big turtle dragon thing with spikes and claws and stuff.

[black_shadow]

What, like Pico?

Anyway, we need to start making plans...Falcon can't spend another minute untortured.

[bloodvile]

Kinda. He actually has hair.

Definitely. It's been too long. His stupid car needs a good wrecking too.

[black_shadow]

I agree. Get on that ASAP. That's an order.

The first step in our larger plans is to gain a foot hold in this school. I can trust you as my enforcer, correct?

[bloodvile]

Like you even have to ask.

[black_shadow]

Excellent!

...Now that that's out of the way, how are your grades?