001- [video] - Laytex all the way down...

[black_shadow]

[Black Shadow does not appear in public without his costume, no matter how much it looks like the school network has been invading by sketchy fetish spam. He sits with his arms folded in front of the camera, like he's sizing up everyone watching it. He clears his throat.]

...Greetings Smash Acadamy. My name is Black Shadow and you may know me as a world famous F-Zero racer and the revered Emperor of Evil! HAHAHAHAHAH!

...I am also your new Drivers Ed teacher.

I am told I can't make the class mandatory, but I strongly urge you to come. Driving is a far more vital skill than you can ever know.

As for my new...colleges: I look forward to working with you.

[He smirks briefly, like there's something about to happen and he can't wait to see how it's going to turn out. Amazing how menacing that can make a normally meaningless pleasantry.]

Comments

[black_shadow]

[He stands up, slowly, less out of consideration for the gun and more out of his contempt for Falcon.]

You're acting dense, Falcon, but I know better. I know you know there's nowhere you can run and nowhere you can hide. You look at me and you see the destruction of everything you've worked so hard to build here.

[He paces, slowly and deliberately, so not to draw Falcon's fire. He needs to finish his monologue after all.]

I sent Blood to this school because I knew this was where you were, and he enrolled rather than kill you outright because it's against the rules for a teacher causing unsanctioned harm to a student.

Tell me: if you shot me now, what do you think would happen?

[raced_god]

[All this has happened before, he has to remind himself before he gets angry and scratches his itchy trigger finger.

Realistically, the answer is probably something like "you'd use your stupid powers to stop the laser or something", but he can think of a better answer.]

A lot of people would be better off.

[And if it means Master Hand throwing him out of the school, so be it. He'd been ready to pack up and leave not long ago.]

[black_shadow]

[Black Shadow is almost impressed by that answer.]

Would they? Or would every two-bit criminal in the galaxy rise up to take my place all at once? Wouldn't that be something to see!

[Despite the obvious satisfaction on his face at imagining it, he's getting bored of talking. The plan is to catch Falcon off-guard, but impatience is threatening to win out, and his hands twitch with anticipation.]

[raced_god]

[All of this has already happened--Black Shadow's absence left quite a mess, but he has to remind himself that the power vacuum is filled again. He has no idea how long Black Shadow thinks he was...wherever he was, but he's willing to bet that it's been longer on his end.]

Let's find out.

[black_shadow]

[Well, those are fighting words if Shadow has ever heard them! The first thing to do is remove that gun and the most fun way to do that would be to kick Falcon's legs out from under him and take it.

He moves quickly for a giant man, leaping out of his chair (only partly thanks to floating powers) to charge and slide at Falcon, legs outstretched. Hopefully he can break an ankle or two.]

[raced_god]

[Falcon thinks back to that night in June all those years ago--Black Shadow isn't opening with the glowy blue magic, but that doesn't mean he won't use it. He has no intention of making the same mistakes that got him shot the first time they did this.

He rolls, ducking out of the way of the offense, and starts firing laser bolts as he rights himself.]

[black_shadow]

[Black Shadow slides straight out into the hall and springs up to duck behind the wall to put some cover between him and the shots.]

Is that all you've got Falcon? Didn't you miss me, or is this just your way of showing it?

[raced_god]

[To say this isn't what Falcon expected would probably be lying. There is no way any of this is going to be easy, and it's only made more difficult when Black Shadow brings it out into the hallway.

The last thing he's going to do is respond to the taunts--at least verbally. Closing the distance to swing a flaming right hook to the guy's face, however, is fair game.]

[black_shadow]

[Black Shadow almost doesn't dodge in time, dropping to the floor before it can break his head: in fact, he can feel the laytex on his costume melting from the heat on the top of his head. That'll hurt later, but for now, he can transfer it into rage.

And so he does, springing off the wall, charging like a bull, trying to ram his head into Falcon's gut.]

[raced_god]

[Falcon is pretty sure he'll never understand how such a big guy can even fight the way Black Shadow does, but he's also pretty sure that there's voodoo magic involved, so.

He's fast, at least, and he uses that to his advantage, diving out of the way and hoping Black Shadow can't respond fast enough to avoid getting his big stupid horns stuck in the wall like a big stupid idiot.]

[black_shadow]

[The horns aren't attached to his head securely enough for that. They press down when he smacks his head into the wall, despite his efforts to slow down. He grabs his head (burning and now blunt force trauma, add that to the checklist of why Falcon needs to die) with one hand and starts working up an energy rope in his other.]

How mad do you want to make me, Falcon?

[raced_god]

You seem pretty mad already.

[He says it with a grin, casually, even though he's more than aware that this confrontation could easily result in his untimely demise. Falcon does not, however, lose his confidence. He's cheated death countless times.]

[black_shadow]

[Ah, yes, he loves this game. He's taken pains to remember exactly that look before because he's certain it will be on Falcon's face when he finally dies.

Maybe even today. He fires his energy rope directly at Falcon's face. Best case, it'll blind him, worse case, he'll be open for attack dodging it.]

[raced_god]

[Falcon is fast, but not that fast--he manages to move out of the way to avoid something disastrous like his face, or both arms. It hit his shoulder, the impact causing him to stumble backwards, effectively gluing his left arm to his side.

Could be worse. There's still one arm he can punch with, which is exactly what he tries to do.]

[black_shadow]

[Black Shadow's running up with his own punch, as he was expecting Falcon to be more incapacitated than one arm. He swings at his enemy's stupid face.

It's no falcon punch but it should do the job if it connects.]

[raced_god]

[Falcon's punch, of course, is a Falcon Punch. It's on fire, and he feels it connect about the same time Black Shadow's stupid fist hits the side of his head. Perhaps, if he'd been wearing his helmet, he would have survived.

As it stood, however, the collision more-or-less knocked him out cold.

Goodnight, sweet prince.]

[black_shadow]

[Punching was the best idea that either of them had ever had. Black Shadow takes the Falcon Punch in the face.

He cannot feel the burns because he, too, is cold-cocked.

Goodnight, rotten emperor.]