01 - [Video]

[inspirethefire]

SMASH ACADEMY! I GIVE YOU MY GREETINGS!

[The young man, centered in the camera frame, uniform freshly pressed, gives a sharp, deep bow. He fixes his audience with as piercing and earnest a gaze as he can manage.]

My name is Hajime Tanaka, and I have arrived here to provide moral and spiritual support to those of you residing here! You have faced brutal trials! You've been burdened with heart-rending struggles! However this may exhaust your mind, body, or spirit, I hope you may take my words as genuine: I am here to support you! Henceforth, none of your conflicts need be faced on your own. I am here to be used if needed! Simply call on me, and I'll be there!

[Just an instant's hesitation, a flash of discomfort. He can't believe he has to say this out loud, but he will. For the school. A deep breath:]

LET'S GO, FLAMING HOBOS!

Comments

[audio]

[explosion_day]

[yeah this guy]

I need you




to shut up. That's what I need.

[inspirethefire]

[He knew it was going to happen sooner or later, not all people are suited to his enthusiasm.]

Mm. I apologize if you find my work distracting. I will do what I can to keep from bothering those without need, but I cannot promise to keep out of your earshot.

[explosion_day]

[He totally sounds like a people.]

Yeah you're doin' a great job with this post. You know what I hear? Everything. I even hear the video parts of your audio that's how talented I am.

Do better to put some duct tape over your big mouth instead of expecting you to keep away from the network. Stone cold metal duct tape if you catch my drift.

[inspirethefire]

Forgive me, perhaps I'm a bit confused with how the system is run at this school. I was under the impression that, should you not want to listen or view any particular entries, all you had to do was not click them.

[explosion_day]

You ever hear of thing called autoplay? That's what it's like for me.

[Except Rick totally can just IGNORE STUFF he just can't ignore an opportunity to be a jerk.]

I am literally connected to this thing pretty much all the time. Don't eat, don't sleep. Just listenin' for danger.

[inspirethefire]

[STILL NOT GETTING THE CLUES PUT TOGETHER...]

How diligent. It's quite noble of you to put yourself through such endless trials. Your dedication and perseverance in the face of such hardships should inspire us all.

[explosion_day]

Yeah you're damn right it should. Got enough adventure and inspiration to go around. Call it adventuriation.

You don't get any though, you can cheer on the flaming hobos or whatever.

[inspirethefire]

Well then. That's your right, if you want to take on life's journies by your lonesome. I will not interfere. Should you ever change your mind, however, you need only let me know.

[explosion_day]

Yeah. That's right.

...Also you need to stop being so polite. Just stop it. It's infuriating. And stupid.

[inspirethefire]

Ah. I'm sorry. Would acting rashly and with disdain make it easier for you to disregard me?

[explosion_day]

Yeah. Yeah you gotta' get mad! Mad as a combustible lemon or something. You're boring as hell otherwise, man.

[inspirethefire]

Well, I would hate for you to feel as though your time has been wasted. Do you prefer indignant demands for your recognition, or swearing vengeance upon you for your insolence?

[explosion_day]

[OH MY GOD STOP no one has ever frustrated him by being like this before.]

Whatever doesn't trip up my sarcasm meter because you're really testing it right now.

[inspirethefire]

Hmm. I'll see what I can do. Ahem...

[ PURE BURNING VENOM:] Do not mock me, stranger. You may strive to cover your insecurity with bile and scorn, but you shall not quench the power of faith with your ignorance! Go ahead and repay my offer with disdain, but know this; whether or not I remain silenced, the depths of my mission surround you, and it's only your own self that is harmed by your refusal to listen.

[explosion_day]

Uh yeah okay uhhhh. That's a good start. A little too verbose, but okay.

Throw in some swear words for flavor here and there. And you gotta' take on a good fightin' stance while you scream it. Put your fists up in the air!

[inspirethefire]

Well, this was an audio feed. You missed out on some decidedly passionate posturing. But I will practice, so as to better satisfy you next time.