01 - [Video]

[inspirethefire]

SMASH ACADEMY! I GIVE YOU MY GREETINGS!

[The young man, centered in the camera frame, uniform freshly pressed, gives a sharp, deep bow. He fixes his audience with as piercing and earnest a gaze as he can manage.]

My name is Hajime Tanaka, and I have arrived here to provide moral and spiritual support to those of you residing here! You have faced brutal trials! You've been burdened with heart-rending struggles! However this may exhaust your mind, body, or spirit, I hope you may take my words as genuine: I am here to support you! Henceforth, none of your conflicts need be faced on your own. I am here to be used if needed! Simply call on me, and I'll be there!

[Just an instant's hesitation, a flash of discomfort. He can't believe he has to say this out loud, but he will. For the school. A deep breath:]

LET'S GO, FLAMING HOBOS!

Comments

[inspirethefire]

Well then. That's your right, if you want to take on life's journies by your lonesome. I will not interfere. Should you ever change your mind, however, you need only let me know.

[explosion_day]

Yeah. That's right.

...Also you need to stop being so polite. Just stop it. It's infuriating. And stupid.

[inspirethefire]

Ah. I'm sorry. Would acting rashly and with disdain make it easier for you to disregard me?

[explosion_day]

Yeah. Yeah you gotta' get mad! Mad as a combustible lemon or something. You're boring as hell otherwise, man.

[inspirethefire]

Well, I would hate for you to feel as though your time has been wasted. Do you prefer indignant demands for your recognition, or swearing vengeance upon you for your insolence?

[explosion_day]

[OH MY GOD STOP no one has ever frustrated him by being like this before.]

Whatever doesn't trip up my sarcasm meter because you're really testing it right now.

[inspirethefire]

Hmm. I'll see what I can do. Ahem...

[ PURE BURNING VENOM:] Do not mock me, stranger. You may strive to cover your insecurity with bile and scorn, but you shall not quench the power of faith with your ignorance! Go ahead and repay my offer with disdain, but know this; whether or not I remain silenced, the depths of my mission surround you, and it's only your own self that is harmed by your refusal to listen.

[explosion_day]

Uh yeah okay uhhhh. That's a good start. A little too verbose, but okay.

Throw in some swear words for flavor here and there. And you gotta' take on a good fightin' stance while you scream it. Put your fists up in the air!

[inspirethefire]

Well, this was an audio feed. You missed out on some decidedly passionate posturing. But I will practice, so as to better satisfy you next time.