[VIDEO]

[raced_god]

[Good evening, Smash Academy. Today you are greeting with a shot of DAS AUTOSHOP, where a great many half-finished and slightly ominous-looking vehicular-type projects grace the background. Falcon sits in front of the feed and leans in.]

Football tryouts. If you're not on the team and want to be, show up. We're co-ed and take all grade levels. If you're already on the team, show up anyway. Check in with either myself or Max Powers, he's the other coach.

I ordered new uniforms.

[He is wearing his Flaming Hobos t-shirt.]

Friday, on the field, six PM sharp. Looking for a new team captain. Express interest and ask your questions here.

Comments

[holydeath]

[This school is weird.]

Please don't tell me our mascot is literally a homeless person on fire.

[raced_god]

In a strange, convoluted sort of way, that was the inspiration, but it's not what you think. We don't actually set hobos on fire.

[holydeath]

I should hope not. Being a nun, I am highly opposed to the setting on fire of homeless people.

[Plus it's probably one of the Forty-Seven Deadly Sins .]

...though I am a bit curious as to what was the cause of the name.

[raced_god]

Like I said, long story. We're reclaiming what was once used to make fun of us.

[holydeath]

I guess I can see the logic behind that.

[Still weird though.]

Anyway, I'm Sister Helga Wilhelmina, the new phys ed teacher and nurse. I wanted to ask you if there's anything I could do to help out the team?

[raced_god]

Oh, uh, sure, if you want to. We could always use some extra supervision.

[holydeath]

Alright! When would you like me to start?

[raced_god]

Just meet us at tryouts on Friday, and keep your wits about you.

[holydeath]

That sounds...ominous, somehow.

[She has no idea.]

[raced_god]

Things tend to blow up, around here.

1/2

[holydeath]

Blow up?!

[Wait a second...]

2/2

[holydeath]

[Since she knows about Eggman's class and the fact that he's less than stellar...]

Does this have anything to do with the Demolitions teacher?

[raced_god]

It has everything to do with the Demolitions teacher.

[holydeath]

I knew it! And to think I once felt sorry for falling through the roof and landing on top of him, how foolish of me. Clearly I should have taught him a lesson or two!

[raced_god]

Yeah, he's kind of a bag of dicks.

[holydeath]

While I do disagree with your choice of words, I cannot disagree with the meaning behind them. I will attend the tryouts, and if he tries anything I will be sure to make him repent for his ways!

[By beating his fat face in with a BFM.]

[raced_god]

No, trust me, "total bag of dicks" is the only way to describe this guy, and you'll agree with me soon enough.

NOT HERE

[iamtheeggman]

YOU'RE A BAG OF DICKS!!

ALSO NOT HERE

[holydeath]

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE HOSPITAL?!

Re: ALSO NOT HERE

[iamtheeggman]

MY RAGE CANNOT BE CONTAINED BY A MERE HOSPITAL.

[holydeath]

I THINK YOU HAVE YOUR RAGE AND YOUR STOMACH CONFUSED!

[holydeath]

[HUFF.] I suppose we'll just have to wait and see.

[raced_god]

I'm positive you will.