[video] TIS THE SEASON for sick

[bedroomblackbelt]

[SO THIS POST SHOULD HAVE IDEALLY GONE UP like a few weeks ago--maybe this is backdated maybe there was a time anomaly maybe I'm a bum maybe he was sick and got better then got sick all over again--whatever doesn't matter: POINT BEING... Here is a video of a scruffy blonde man with bright green eyes that upon very close inspection have decidedly rectangular pupils. You probably aren't looking at that minute detail though since the general state of this man looks very obviously ill. He has bags under his eyes, a faint sheen of sweat on his brow, and snot running down his pinkish-red nose. His voice is rasped and stuffy but that's okay he's going to pretend like nothing is wrong.]

HEY EVVE. [There's a long sniff as he tames some nasal drippage with the back of his shirt sleeve. Rick that's gross.] I tallied up the score and I'm pretty sure I got you beat. You can ask everyone I kissed over the holidays for proof.

Based on our previous--[Hold on he's gotta sneeze. Sneeze he does and he makes absolutely no effort to cover it. Rick that's gross.]--'scuse me. Our previous arrangements I believe that means you owe me a whatever I want.

[While very pleased with himself, the feed tapers off with Rick coughing up a huge wad of phlegm and spitting it off screen. Rick that's gross.

Yes that's right. Everyone Rick (or Ishimaru for that matter) kissed... or touched whatever he might have touched... you might want check yourself for some sweet sweet mono or wintertime ick. It's going around.]

Comments

[video]

[docilehearted]

[...Oh... oh. Oh dear. That is pretty ultragross, but more importantly: BLATANTLY SICK PERSON IN NEED OF NURSING.]

You poor thing! You really don't look so good. How are you feeling?

[bedroomblackbelt]

Me? Feelin' great! Amazing! Like uh...

[hold please for VACANT STARING while poetically beautiful snot oozes down his face. He seems to come back to reality after a second or so of blanking out.]

Like great. How are you?

[docilehearted]

[Yyyyyeah. Not fooling anybody. Not with opalescent glimmering dewdrops of nosegoop sliding down his mug.]

That doesn't sound like great or amazing to me. You're sick, aren't you?

[testgasm]

That's disgusting. You're--you're disgusting.

[bedroomblackbelt]

I'm no more disgusting than you were when you were disgusting.

Like with your lack of underpants and all that.

[LOOK WHO'S TALKING...]

[testgasm]

I don't run around as a human, that's the big difference. You've gone and caught some kind of awful disease, and now you're spraying it all over the network. Do you even--you're a robot, for god's sakes!

[Video]

[trustycrowbar]

[Gordon cringes as Rick pathologically oozes onscreen. Good god. This guy has the Martian Death Flu, and he's still trying to mack on students.]

You might want to see the school physician, Rick.

[bedroomblackbelt]

What for? [Narrowing his eyes.] I'm not a student.

[trustycrowbar]

Student or not, you're sick as a dog, and it should be treated before someone ELSE gets sick. Ever had a computer virus? It's kind of like that.

[ video ]

[idowhatilike]

[ Human filth is nothing she wouldn't expect from Rick by this point, so she's just going to stare into her camera, eyes narrowed. Face stone cold. LIKE HER HEART.

She knew she lost (because she asked around/looked at cameras/SHE FOUND OUT SHUT UP). Evve knew and she accepted it and as a woman of her word, she was bound to their contest. SHE'S AN ADULT. ]

Shut up and say what you want already.

[ She was bracing herself. ]

[bedroomblackbelt]

Alright I want a robot velociraptor, some TNT, a couple of machine guns and you in a string biniki armor set.

[sniiiiiffff]

And a new hat.

[idowhatilike]

[ Yeah. How'd she know it'd be incredibly ridiculous ]

And where do you expect me to obtain all of that, Rick? [ WHAT THE HELL IS A VELOCIRAPTOR ANYWAY ]

[video]

[drawin_on_trees]

Gesundheit!! You're full of snot!

[Such a helpful observation.]

[bedroomblackbelt]

[So helpful! Rick sort of sneers a bit at the screen.]

Fulla' what now?

[drawin_on_trees]

Snot! That green stuff comin' out of your nose! You're full of snot!

[giggling forever what a professional diagnosis]

[video]

[blue_karat]

[ She says nothing. This is it. This is the whole video. ]

[ She is judging you. ]

[bedroomblackbelt]

[WHOA THERE LADY Rick sort of leeaaaannnnsssss baaaaaaack from the computer screen slowly.

Then he brings his finger forward and taps the screen. Like he'd be tapping her in the forehead. Are you even alive...]

[blue_karat]

[ yes but at this rate everyone will be dead and it will be YOUR FAULT ]

You are sick.

[ It was so G R O S S and no one needed to see him sneeze and cough all over his camera. She had convinced herself that she saw spittle on the lens. ]

[video]

[makesithot]

Oh hell no. You mean...

Did you get that while you were kissing people and stuff?! What if I caught it? From you!?

[bedroomblackbelt]

[OH NO BRO...]

What if... you didn't? Or got it from I dunno', Wheatley or someone else dumb.

[makesithot]

I didn't kiss Wheatley. I didn't even go near Wheatley. Why would I do that?

Video

[heartofarapier]

[This explains a lot. How could you, Rick. How could you.]

...
Next time you are unwell, you shouldn't be going around and kissing people.

[Like her. BECAUSE NOW SHE'S UNDER THE WEATHER AND SHE LOOKS IT AND SHE SOUNDS IT.]

[bedroomblackbelt]

[Babe no wait...]

Why not, 's not like anything bad happened, right?

[...R...RIGHT...?]

[gentlesaint]

You don't look like you're feeling very well. It's concerning... Would you like me to bring you some remedies to help you weather through it?

[bedroomblackbelt]

Depends... are you a lady-type or a man-type?

[SQUINTING AT THE SCREEN AT RHYS'S DELICATE FEATURES. Probably a dude but Rick is out of it just enough to not be 100% sure.]