smashacademy | [video] TIS THE SEASON for sick

[SO THIS POST SHOULD HAVE IDEALLY GONE UP like a few weeks ago--maybe this is backdated maybe there was a time anomaly maybe I'm a bum maybe he was sick and got better then got sick all over again--whatever doesn't matter: POINT BEING... Here is a video of a scruffy blonde man with bright green eyes that upon very close inspection have decidedly rectangular pupils. You probably aren't looking at that minute detail though since the general state of this man looks very obviously ill. He has bags under his eyes, a faint sheen of sweat on his brow, and snot running down his pinkish-red nose. His voice is rasped and stuffy but that's okay he's going to pretend like nothing is wrong.]

HEY EVVE. [There's a long sniff as he tames some nasal drippage with the back of his shirt sleeve. Rick that's gross.] I tallied up the score and I'm pretty sure I got you beat. You can ask everyone I kissed over the holidays for proof.

Based on our previous--[Hold on he's gotta sneeze. Sneeze he does and he makes absolutely no effort to cover it. Rick that's gross.]--'scuse me. Our previous arrangements I believe that means you owe me a whatever I want.

[While very pleased with himself, the feed tapers off with Rick coughing up a huge wad of phlegm and spitting it off screen. Rick that's gross.

Yes that's right. Everyone Rick (or Ishimaru for that matter) kissed... or touched whatever he might have touched... you might want check yourself for some sweet sweet mono or wintertime ick. It's going around.]

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[ Evve wrinkles her nose at him and kills her feed for a good few minutes. When she returns, she's shocked to have found all of that, EVEN THE VELOCIRAPTOR THING (She had to admit it was interesting), but there's a small problem. ]

I don't have the funds for that! The velociraptor is immensely overpriced!

~~what do you meeeeeean~~

[What awww Rick sort of slouches in his chair, staring at the ceiling. A ceiling which is sort of pulsing and dizzying to stare at for too long.

Man, he is so feeling not so hot right now. He looks no better when she pops back on the screen.]

How 'bout a substitute? Like a big ol' crocodile if you chop off the extra legs? They don't need more than two legs to get around.

[ And she's starting to really pay attention to his condition. She isn't one to dodge direct questions, so she just comes out with it. ]

You're not getting that either.

What is wrong with you? You look more miserable than usual.

Nothin' wrong. Just fine, totally fine.

I am definitely not thinkin' about puking right now.

[ She can't help but think the idiot did something as drastic as getting himself stabbed again. When it comes to that thought and reflecting on the past, she can't help but feel some mistakes weigh in to what she's about to say. ]

Don't you dare. [ ...ugh. ] Where are you before you choke on something like the child you are?

[lbr when is Rick not an idiot]

Inside uh...

[It takes him a few long seconds to answer that question. That probably says more than words can.]

...th' place with the TV.

[He's snotting and goobering all over the common room, great.]

[ Can't recall a time. no one can.

But his reply triggers a sigh of exasperation. Are you KIDDING? That room is important! ]

Stay there.

[ She snapped the video off and began her stomp toward Rick's location. She hardly got dressed for the occasion, deciding it wasn't worth the effort to potentially find herself covered in puke if she couldn't dodge some projectile vomiting at one point or another. Unfortunately it would be Jon's wardrobe that would take any of the damage. She wore a large sweater loosely, shit jogging pants and untied shoes. Yeah, sorry, no nurse.

Evve approached him upon her arrival and stare down at the fucking mess he is. GOD. ]

Get up. You're spreading your filth in a sacred room. [ She'll kill you if there's snot on the TV. ]

[She is still the sexiest nurse this side of campus to him. ~~Only the sexy nurses in the hospital could compare.~~

He is a huge mess--illness aside. His shirt is on backwards and there's a blanket and towel (???) strewn around on the couch behind him like he'd been huddling in them like a Ricksicle then throwing them off in a fevered frenzy all night.

There is snot on the TV.]

It's sacred? There buried treasure somewhere in here?

[ you sunavabitch

Evve could not believe what she was looking at. All the evidence pointed that he'd overstayed his welcome in this place and it was time to find somewhere to drag him. ]

No. Why here? Why not keep your germs to your own room?

[ In any case, he wasn't dying from more than what appeared to be a cold, which was better than being stabbed. She reached a toe out to jab the nearest appendage. ]

Get up. We're going to your room. [ Pause. ] Words you'll never hear in any other context ever again.

[Yeah sick or not that is not going to stop the shit eating grin from creeping on his face.]

Well then think fast pretty thing, 'cause you're already there.

[you're

already

there

in his room]

[ Cue the hardest fucking stare to pierce his robotic soul ]

This is a common room. Not your room. [ Another long pause with her attempting to find words. ]

... You actually consider this your room. Unbelievable. [ She reached for his ear but snagged mostly hair, deciding that was good enough to tug at to get him going. It wasn't entirely nasty to the touch. Entirely. A little. Because it's his. ] Stand. Immediately. [ However she did find it odd that she had never seen him huddled in here before. Wherever could he have been ]

OOOOWWWWWW ow ow easy girl---! [He stands literally by the hairs on his head. There's a drawn out sniffly whine until he's up and standing over her.]

It might as well be my room, seeing as how I don't have one.

[The way he says it though is carried with an air of pride, like he don't need no stinkin room. The management rails and great adventures of being a literal campus hobo are all the living arrangements he needs.]

No room?

[ How the Hell did that work?

She dropped her hand to her hip, looking up at him with a wrinkle of annoyance on the bridge of her nose. ] You claimed you were staff teaching some irrelevant subject or another. How do you not have a room? [ Pause. ] Unless you were lying, of course. [ She's going for the ear again! ]

Don't need a base of operations when the rails and the... the everythin' is my room.

[ She quickly paused before snatching his ear. ]

What do you mean? [ She hesitated but the back of her hand reached for his forehead. ] Has your fever finally fried the small remainder of your brain?

[Babe don't do that babe he feels ooky babe

babe it hurts so good

except he suddenly retches

aaaaaaaaaaaand pukes on her feet]

[ There is nothing more disturbing than feeling something warm and wet wash over your feet and knowing that it isn't water. She keeps her eyes forward, knowing if she looks down, she's only going to contribute. ]

You...

[ She dug her claws into his skull. HE COULDN'T REALLY MAKE THIS WORSE SO FUCK IT. ]

YOU........

[ YANK. ]

We're going to my room! [ She moved her feet and felt it all shift and uGH. UGH. DON'T LOOK DOWN. DON'T. LOOK. DOWN. ]

Ghhk! sorry Kghh! [Really, it's all he can spit out after spitting out everything else all over the ground. He meanwhile can do little more than look down with the vice grip she had on his hair as he gets dragged along. What a mess, man.]

Doss this mean we're gonna'... gonna do the uhgnnnn horizontal tango?

[video] TIS THE SEASON for sick

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oh my fucking god

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that fuckin icon

definitely not thinkin' about boners right now

WEEPS. HELLO

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I'm so sorry

you should be

Re: you should be