01 - [Video]

[inspirethefire]

SMASH ACADEMY! I GIVE YOU MY GREETINGS!

[The young man, centered in the camera frame, uniform freshly pressed, gives a sharp, deep bow. He fixes his audience with as piercing and earnest a gaze as he can manage.]

My name is Hajime Tanaka, and I have arrived here to provide moral and spiritual support to those of you residing here! You have faced brutal trials! You've been burdened with heart-rending struggles! However this may exhaust your mind, body, or spirit, I hope you may take my words as genuine: I am here to support you! Henceforth, none of your conflicts need be faced on your own. I am here to be used if needed! Simply call on me, and I'll be there!

[Just an instant's hesitation, a flash of discomfort. He can't believe he has to say this out loud, but he will. For the school. A deep breath:]

LET'S GO, FLAMING HOBOS!

Comments

[tank_rockarms]

Uhhhhh it ain't required, no. But it's pretty much the best class.

[inspirethefire]

I don't doubt your skill as a teacher. I'm simply unsuited for the subject matter.

[tank_rockarms]

Well, that's why you take the class. You learn how to punch and kick and jump good. If you're a cheerleader guy, you should already have good core strength and be able to jump. It'll be easy for you to pick it up.

[inspirethefire]

That's not... quite what I meant. That is, yes, core strength and dexterity are important, but the more violent aspect is a bit out of my comfort zone. Doesn't this school have a general physical education course to teach the same principles, without fighting?

[tank_rockarms]

Oh. Yeah, there's a regular PE class you can take.

And I do weight room trainin' for the football team, too. If you ever wanna get on a free weight program so you can put on some muscle, you just come ask me and I'll get you set.

[inspirethefire]

Thank you. I may well make use of the weight training. The spirit cannot thrive in a body that is not in peak condition!

[tank_rockarms]

Good answer.