smashacademy | [VIDEO] - MAX IS LAME, BEAR EARS EDITION

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[VIDEO] - MAX IS LAME, BEAR EARS EDITION

A video from Max appears on the network.

Vinnie must have helped him make it.

Max is clearly wearing a pair of steel bear ears on the top of his head.

"I made a bunch of animal ears down at the forge. Like, to wear on your head. If you wanna wear 'em to show your solidarity, you can come get some from me. Free. Don't cost you nothin'."

Max pauses and takes a breath. "Lemme just say one thing. I been in a situation where people decided to pit all sortsa groups against each other so they could take advantage of all of us while we were fightin' with each other. Don't let whatever pack of douchebags who's behind all of this whatever the heck it is push you around into bein' afraid. A lotta my friends are pokemon or echidna guys or all sorts of stuff. And just let me say -- you pull shit on one of my friends you got these to answer for."

And here, dear viewer, Max flexes into the camera. Slowpoke appears over Max's shoulder somehow, grinning happily into the camera that he isn't aware is there yet. Your computer screen probably just broke from the sheer majesty of it all.

In case your screen didn't break, what you see is an exasperated Vinnie appearing from behind Max (he was evidently here the entire time, but just, you know, eclipsed by Max's giant biceps) leaning over to push the very obvious 'video on/off' button that Max has no idea how to work. The video feed cuts off.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ .............................wat ]

::WATCH THE NEWS, LAMER::

[ .............................wat

he is so getting a pair of those wicked ears. ]

::Yes, good choice.::

You have a slowpoke.

[More a wry observation than an inquiry - He'd met Slowpoke in Johto and found them more than a little frustrating.]

Hope no weaker humans wear those into town and get the proverbial... or... I guess literal works too... crap kicked out of them for the sake of solidarity. While I appreciate the gesture, I'd feel less than pleased to see the Pro-Homo-Sapiens mob turn on it's own kind due to your good intentions.

More like a slowpoke's got me. He sorta got attached to me and wouldn't leave.

This place is a fightin' school. I teach ~~if Chris would ever put a log up, GAWD~~ the kids here how to fight. Most of 'em can hold their own.

And anyway, if you ain't willin' to stand up for what you believe in and let people know you believe in it, what good is it? What this place needs is humans lettin' people know they respect their non-human friends and non-humans doin' the same for their human friends.

The world just goes to hell when good people sit down and shut up.

You use him to battle? Or is he more a pet?

Attending a fighting school and being able to fight are two different things. Not everyone in the school attends your class or any of the combat classes. And those who attend certain combat classes may not have the strength, speed and resolve required to defend themselves from a mob of angry, drugged-up lads weilding crowbars and beer bottles.

There are a few good folk about and their voices could stand to be heard, but not at the expense of their safety. This divide is suddenly more pronounced for some reason, but it's not new, and it's never going to leave entirely. There's always going to be an element of it about. It's just oftentimes hidden better.

Slowpoke's more of just a friend who sleeps on my old ripped up tank tops. Sometimes he helps fight, but never on purpose, really.

And I guess what I gotta say to that is that I ain't makin' anybody wear 'em who don't want to. If a kid doesn't feel like he or she would be safe wearin' somethin' like this, then they don't gotta.

But for those of us who can? That's the whole point of strength, to be strong for other people who can't be strong on their own. I see a problem, I gotta do somethin' about it. And since I can't run around punchin' everybody who needs it, I came up with this.

I see. Fair enough.

I'd just be careful handing them out to folk who look as though they can't handle themselves. Remind them it's fine not to wear them if they wind up being chased by hooligans bearing torches or rifles.

That's a valid application for strength though I don't see it as the whole point. I'm strong for myself first, and should it benefeit others along the way then that's all well and good. I've seen a side of this problem I daresay you shant ever see and again, I appreciate your intentions.

I spent... a lotta time as a pokemon at this school, actually. But nobody hates pokemon. Usually. You're a werewolf, right? Yeah, uh. I can see how you'd get a lotta people not likin' you. Ain't too many stories about nice werewolves.

Though I think I saw a movie about one, once. You ever seen that? It was about a kid in high school who turned into a werewolf and then he got good at basketball.

I tend to avoid Werewolf films in the main, and no. I can't say as I've ever seen nor heard of a movie about a werewolf who plays basketball. I'm assuming it's a comedy?

Yeah, pretty much. Maybe you should watch that one, it might be less awful. Well, probably really awful, but not awful in the way the other ones would be awful in.

Edited 2013-01-18 22:38 (UTC)

Actually, most werewolf films have the idea down pat. I generally dislike them because they're a stark reminder of what I used to be and still am once a month.

I'm not much of one for comedies, but I'd be tempted to take a gander just on the off chance it doesn't make me gag. What was the title?

It's called Teen Wolf I think.

Teen Wolf. Interesting. I suppose the superior reflexes and strength WOULD make sports easier so I can see why he might turn to one, though I'd not have thought of Basketball.

Heh! I think they suit you, Max! I'm almost tempted to get some big goofy hedgehog ears myself.

Knuckles, I don't think you need 'em. You're kinda... a little animal guy already.

I mean, maybe if you wanna paint yourself blue and pretend to be Sonic, I guess. Only you got your hair-thingies.

I was just kidding, man. Don't sweat it.

Oh, alright.

I mean, I guess I could make you some people ears if you wanted 'em.

Really? I think they'd be a pretty hard one to do. I mean, your guys ears are kinda.... wrinkly. Or ridged, I guess is a better word. You could do that kinda detail?

I'd have to make a mold. If I could get a manniqu... manniquen... mannik... plastic head with an ear on it, I could make a mold easy and could make up some ears from that.

Huh... well, if you find 'em and can make some, I'd be happy to wear them. This thing needs to go both ways, y'know?

I'll go diggin' around. Maybe there's some left over from when Adder used to teach fashion classes or somethin'.

I couldn't imagine that there's not a single fashion dummy with an ear around here somewhere. I think Miss Able has some in her class - you wouldn't need to break it or anything, right? She could use it again once you were done?

As long as I could get the head off by itself.

I don't think I could, like, do it if it were attached to the body. Not easily, anyway.

Yeah - you know what? I'm pretty sure she has some that are just heads. Ones she uses for hats and stuff. I'll borrow one of those for you and bring it over.

We should make a ton of these.

And give 'em to everyone, Max.

[HE LOOKS SO SERIOUS ABOUT IT.]

That's why I made the ones I got.

So I'll make sure they get around. Maybe town people can have 'em too.

We just need somethin'. Anythin'.

Oh! So... For the animals to show so-li-da-ri-tee for the normal people getting hurt, they should cut off their ears, right?

What, no. That ain't it at all. Why would you say that? That's a terrible idea.

Knuckles said he'd wear people ear versions.

Why's it bad? People could cut off their ears... and animals could cut off theirs... and they'd switch!

Having four ears is weirder, right?

[[ Ulki stared at the feed of Max wearing steel ears atop his head. In a way, he can understand already how he might've reacted to such a sight had it been, what, five years ago? Five years ago, before he met the Greil Mercenaries and his views on humans had been changed by one man who saw past the turmoil between races and did what he needed to do. Ike changed the way Ulki regarded beorc, but he knew that if he hadn't met him, this sight might have offended him. He would have felt mocked.

Ulki wondered if anybody else felt the same way he would have. He hoped they didn't. He knew Max meant well, and at that moment, that's all that mattered to him. In fact, he sympathized with his account of some mastermind pitting together two groups just to stir up violence and warfare. He was trying to protect his friends, regardless of their race. The fake ears were just a statement of that, and nothing more. ]]

Max. While I partly appreciate the gesture, I might warn you that some... "non-human" types... might not view this as anything to be appreciative about. Some may view it as mocking.

Um... I have to agree with this. Where I am from, a thing like this is always for either a disguise for spying, or else... mocking.

... they sell hats down at the mall with fuzzy ears for little girls to wear. Cats and dogs and all kinds. People wear those sorts of things here just to wear them. Not to make fun of people.

Heck, we got rabbit ears hats to help you jump better at the school.

I ain't makin' fun and it's pretty obvious this ain't a disguise. I'm doin' it to try and make a positive statement.

But if you've got a better suggestion for somethin' I could make out of metal to show solidarity, ~~I'm all ears~~ I'll take it. I'm a general and I'm a blacksmith. I can either blow it up or I can make it out of iron. And blowin' things up don't seem helpful right now.

Edited 2013-01-18 22:41 (UTC)

...I want to see the rabbit ears. or your blacksmithing! But, um, that's straying from the topic.

What works best in this kind of time is either laying down weapons and refusing to fight, or else maybe finding a common threat. [Which usually goes well until one side has someone go against their orders and be a dick anyway.]

Okay, uh, hang on.

First off, I'm not sure where you got the idea that all non-humans are automatically animals. Second, how, exactly, do you expect this to help?

I know they all ain't animals but I don't know how to make a thing that can work for everybody.

And it helps by lettin' people SEE that there's support.

It's soft power.

Yeah, see, you putting on a pair of fake ears does absolutely nothing for me. Or--or anyone, really, you're just walking around with a pair of fake ears.

And the--and the big problem, here, is the fact that it's practically effortless for you to take the ears off.

Then you tell me what in the world I'm supposed to do to combat all of this race-based hate that's floatin' around.

I'm an army guy and a blacksmith. I can either punch someone, blow somethin' up or I can make somethin' out of metal. That's what I do good.

Stop lumping all non-humans into one category, to start.

Then take off the ears, because it's insulting, honestly.

I ain't the one who's lumping all non-humans into one category. Watch the news and tell me how that's workin' out. I ain't the one drawin' the lines here. I'm tryin' to find a way to respond to the lines that somebody else drew.

So far you ain't told me what to DO to make a difference, you just keep tellin' me things to stop doin' that, if I stop doin' them I got nothin' to do in response.

So first, you tell me what I do INSTEAD before I change what I'm doing. Tellin' me to stop does nothin'. It shows no support. It sends no message.

I sent hundreds of good men off to their deaths to kill thousands more over people settin' groups up against each other for no good reason. If I can at least try to stop that from happening again, I'll be as damn insulting as I goddamned well please.

Tell me how many good men and women YOU sent off to die because you got caught up in the middle of some dictator startin' up a war between allies.

Okay, first off, I don't actually care how many humans you've killed, it's not--it's not relevant, and it's really not making you look good, here, if you've--if you've done that.

Second, the fact that all the ears you've made are animal ears completely fails to recognize that there are other types of non-humans, some of which aren't even organic! Did you think of that?

If you were actually listening, instead of being so caught up in how noble you are for helping us poor non-humans, you'd realize I am telling you what you can do. You can stop. We don't need this kind of help, and we certainly don't need humans running around pretending like they know what's best for us.

How about I put on a mask of your face and walk around yelling about how I'm doing it to support those poor, oppressed humans, that I understand what they go through. What's that going to do? Nothing except insult people, probably. If you've got non-human friends, you don't need to put on a headband for them to know you're supportive,honestly. So you want to know what you can do instead of this? Stop being a dense idiot, get rid of the ears, and take your solidarity and shove it. That's what you can do.

[CHECK

YOUR

PRIVILEGE]

Edited (typooos) 2013-01-20 23:06 (UTC)

You look stupid as hell, Max. You think some 15-year-old girl's Halloween costume is actually gonna do anything?

I know I look like an idiot. You don't wear somethin' like this to look good. At least not if you're me.

It's soft power, Char. Sometimes people gotta see that there's support for ideas. I mean, heck, did you watch the TV news? People talkin' about meatbags or whatever, that sends the wrong message.

Some people'd make a tshirt or a music video or paint a mural or somethin'.

I can't do that stuff. I could either blow somethin' up or I could make somethin' out of metal. If you got a better suggestion for solidarity stuff I'll take it.

You makin' fun of this or something? You makin' a clown outta yourself for our poor little sakes is a joke at best and patronizin' as hell at worst.

No. I ain't.

I'll repeat what I said up there. If you know somethin' better I can actually DO then tell me what I should DO instead of sittin' around and watchin' a race war flare up around me.

Don't make a carnival roadshow outta it, for starters. You wanna stick it to the man because the news fuckin' sucks or whatever? Just keep bein' friends with whatever friends you got left. I doubt they need these mockin'-ass headbands to know you like 'em.

Those do more for your ego than they do for us poor, oppressed sub-humans, but hey, at least we have a noble-ass guy like you deigning to deface his glorious human body for our sake.

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[VIDEO] - MAX IS LAME, BEAR EARS EDITION

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