smashacademy | {ONE} - [audio]

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{ONE} - [audio]

[The voice the entirety of the campus will hear is loud, very Boston, and very angry.]

YO! What's this crap all about? I already went t'school -- I ain't a college man! I got all the skills I'll ever need.

[He sighs.]

I don't know what this 'final destination' crap is but I don't like the sound'a it. I mean -- I'm used t'bein' told I'm gonna die or whatever, and I always make it out alright since I'm so freakin' fast and all, but I don't think I'm likin' the sound'a this.

Uh, so ... REDs! Doc! Fat-Man! Mumbles, Hardhat, Snipes, Spy, Demo, Soldier ... anyone around? I mean I know yer all old as shit 'n everythin' but Ma always told me yer never too old for college so maybe some'a you guys are here? Hopefully.

As for everyone else! Name's Scout. I'm the fastest man alive 'n if ya don't wanna hear it then I welcome ya to race me! I'm also real freakin' awesome at baseball, no joke. I'm always up for a game.

I'm also single, so babes, feel free t'meet me 'round my dorm: [Pause, sound of papers rustling as he looks for something with his address.] BE-16.

Guess that's it! Catch ya later!

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[ IS SOMEONE BRAGGING ABOUT BEING FAST?

Sonic's narrowing his eyes at the camera. Was this guy human? He wasn't showin' up, but he never met a human faster than him!

You got his spines bristling, Scout! ]

'Fastest man alive', huh? That sounds like a challenge!

[There's a long pause before Scout is able to speak. Why?

Because a blue rat is talking to him!

Unsure of what to even say, he has to think.]

The hell?

What are you? I don't even ...

You some kinda rat or somethin'? How can ya talk?

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[Video; Scout, I'm worried about you, bro]

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[Video; I actually want Scout to lose! It'll be hilarious!]

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[Video-> Action; SCREECHES. Hope switching is okay!]

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[Action; nope, not at all!]

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[Action] So sorry for taking forever! :(

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[Action; WEH. ME TOO ME TOO]

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[OMG THAT ACCENT. WOW. UH. IT'S SIMILAR. Mac and his New Yorker accents gets in here.]

Well hey, no one's too old to do nothin'! That's what I say!

Well, ya sound kinda old so I guess that's why ya feel that way.

I don't wanna be in college. Shit's lame.

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[...Eikichi has no idea what to make of you.]

So wait, Scout's your real name?

It is t'you!

You should teach me to run as fast as you!

... My name is Ai!

I can't really teach this, it's kinda somethin' ya have from birth.

'Sides, y'sound like a little kid! Kids can't run that fast.

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...........

[Okay this guy. Is hard to understand. Thick accent. Has no idea what he's saying.]

Welcome Scout... My name is Phoenix Wright, and I'm the political science instructor. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I ain't gonna enjoy my time here 'cause it's school. I hate school and I really hate learnin'.

[Pause.]

Y'got funny hair.

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thewrightidea - 2012-10-11 01:39 (UTC) - Expand

Sounds like humans are just as amusing in this world as they are back home~

[Ellistree mused, eyes searching him curiously.]

So you would be like a rogue then perhaps? Or just an adept athlete? Either way I have a feeling you'll be enjoyin' your stay here.

[There's a long pause.]

What?

What the heck are you?

I don't know what a rogue is, and I already am a great athlete.

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The women here don't respond well to desperation, just FYI.

I ain't desperate!

But if ya already know that chicks here hate that, then I guess you must be.

... Babes?

I am not sure if the academy accepts infants.

[ oh my god are you SERIOUS ]

Not babies!

Chicks! Women!

[Man, this dude is dense.]

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[audio] hahaha

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[ audio; *does not make much sense WOW FAIL ]

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[ OH MY GOD NOT ANOTHER ONE

NOPE

OLLIES OUTIE ]

[Oh, great. Another loudmouth. Who is she kidding? Nabooru sort of likes them.]

It's an academy for learning how to appropriately wield a weapon. We're grooming people in all walks of life as well.

[She thinks for a moment.] You sound like you could use that, if you ask me.

I already know how t'use lotsa weapons, so I don't hafta be here!

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[This is the most manly man voice that ever manned.]

Ladies don't like 'em quick. They like 'em adventurous.

Too bad for you.

[Scout is almost impressed with how manly that voice sounds. Kind of reminds him of Saxton Hale's, though he hasn't really heard his too much.]

Yo! I'm adventurous too! And tough. I'm all'a those things, so don't jump t'conclusions.

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[Wow. Loud. Izzy's not going to have any trouble knowing when this guy's around.]

Nice accent, Bostonian. Whatcha doin' out here?

I don't know!

I literally woke up and found myself here after dyin' from a stupid rocket t'my face. 'Snot like I saw it comin' or anything, it kinda appeared outta nowhere.

[Great, another annoying snot-nosed brat she has to deal with.]

If you have no interest in expanding your limited amount of knowledge, I assure you that there is a fully functional door in this school. Several, as a matter of fact. Do feel free to use them any time you wish.

Yeah, and if I take those doors I bet my house is right outside. Or my base.

Except not.

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[So uh not to be skeevy or anything, but some dude totally came into the room while that Very Boston ~~Christmas~~ voicepost was happening. Once it's over with, he pipes up.]

You don't like it here?

[Scout almost jumps at the voice, since it's from someone right behind him and he totally didn't expect a roommate.]

GEEZ! Way t'give me a heart attack, dude!

[He turns around, expression pretty annoyed.]

I don't want t'be here, no. I hate school.

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Aww, I like it here! If it's a final destination, I think it's a good one!

[Not that she's been a whole lot of other places...]

Well that's good for you and all, but I hate school 'n I have shit t'do back home.

If you don't want to be here, then why ARE you here?

And I know a few who could test that claim of yours...

You tell me! I woke up and found myself in this strange room.

Yeah? Well tell 'em t'talk to me, 'snot like I got anything better to do here.

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You lookin' for army guys or somethin'? You asked for a soldier and a sniper? And you're a scout?

[Scout looks pretty impressed by the sight of such a 'bicepular' man; it's almost as if he's instantly reminded of someone back home.]

Uh, well

Not really? But kind of, I dunno. I ain't in the army, but I do mercenary work. Sniper and Soldier are part'a my team, and I'm wonderin' if they're around here somewhere.

As a matter'a fact, you kinda remind me of the big guy. Not Soldier but Heavy. Sandvich man.

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