{ONE} - [audio]

[quickly]

[The voice the entirety of the campus will hear is loud, very Boston, and very angry.]

YO! What's this crap all about? I already went t'school -- I ain't a college man! I got all the skills I'll ever need.

[He sighs.]

I don't know what this 'final destination' crap is but I don't like the sound'a it. I mean -- I'm used t'bein' told I'm gonna die or whatever, and I always make it out alright since I'm so freakin' fast and all, but I don't think I'm likin' the sound'a this.

Uh, so ... REDs! Doc! Fat-Man! Mumbles, Hardhat, Snipes, Spy, Demo, Soldier ... anyone around? I mean I know yer all old as shit 'n everythin' but Ma always told me yer never too old for college so maybe some'a you guys are here? Hopefully.

As for everyone else! Name's Scout. I'm the fastest man alive 'n if ya don't wanna hear it then I welcome ya to race me! I'm also real freakin' awesome at baseball, no joke. I'm always up for a game.

I'm also single, so babes, feel free t'meet me 'round my dorm: [Pause, sound of papers rustling as he looks for something with his address.] BE-16.

Guess that's it! Catch ya later!

Comments

[voice]

[punch_in_pink]

[OMG THAT ACCENT. WOW. UH. IT'S SIMILAR. Mac and his New Yorker accents gets in here.]

Well hey, no one's too old to do nothin'! That's what I say!

[voice]

[quickly]

Well, ya sound kinda old so I guess that's why ya feel that way.

I don't wanna be in college. Shit's lame.

[voice]

[punch_in_pink]

Old...?

Wow, that's a first. Everyone always says I sound real young even for my age.

Why ya think it's lame? Don't it make it easier to get a job?

[voice]

[quickly]

Well I mean y'don't sound as old as Doc, but still kinda old!

I already have a job, chucklemuck.

[voice]

[punch_in_pink]

I ain't...sure what that means but I hope it ain't meanin' I'm soundin' old at twenty.

So do I, just that I think it would just feel cool to get a degree, it's a big deal and stuff.

[voice]

[quickly]

Twenty? Damn, I'm older than that!

Y'sound like my mom, and that ain't a good thing. I love my job, I don't need a degree.

[voice]

[star_punched]

[Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwow.]

Well, y'know. We're all different folk.

[Dropping out and being given the chance for school again, even if he was a boxing champ? Mac was on it.]

[voice]

[quickly]

That's real obvious, Einstein! Nobody's like me, not even that BLU loser. Nope, he just pretends t'be awesome like I am but he fails miserably at it.

He needs t'go to school, not me!