{ONE} - [audio]

[quickly]

[The voice the entirety of the campus will hear is loud, very Boston, and very angry.]

YO! What's this crap all about? I already went t'school -- I ain't a college man! I got all the skills I'll ever need.

[He sighs.]

I don't know what this 'final destination' crap is but I don't like the sound'a it. I mean -- I'm used t'bein' told I'm gonna die or whatever, and I always make it out alright since I'm so freakin' fast and all, but I don't think I'm likin' the sound'a this.

Uh, so ... REDs! Doc! Fat-Man! Mumbles, Hardhat, Snipes, Spy, Demo, Soldier ... anyone around? I mean I know yer all old as shit 'n everythin' but Ma always told me yer never too old for college so maybe some'a you guys are here? Hopefully.

As for everyone else! Name's Scout. I'm the fastest man alive 'n if ya don't wanna hear it then I welcome ya to race me! I'm also real freakin' awesome at baseball, no joke. I'm always up for a game.

I'm also single, so babes, feel free t'meet me 'round my dorm: [Pause, sound of papers rustling as he looks for something with his address.] BE-16.

Guess that's it! Catch ya later!

Comments

[Video]

[bluestreaker]

[ IS SOMEONE BRAGGING ABOUT BEING FAST?

Sonic's narrowing his eyes at the camera. Was this guy human? He wasn't showin' up, but he never met a human faster than him!

You got his spines bristling, Scout! ]

'Fastest man alive', huh? That sounds like a challenge!

[voice]

[punch_in_pink]

[OMG THAT ACCENT. WOW. UH. IT'S SIMILAR. Mac and his New Yorker accents gets in here.]

Well hey, no one's too old to do nothin'! That's what I say!

[deathboss]

[...Eikichi has no idea what to make of you.]

So wait, Scout's your real name?

[audio]

[iaiai]

You should teach me to run as fast as you!

... My name is Ai!

Video

[thewrightidea]

...........

[Okay this guy. Is hard to understand. Thick accent. Has no idea what he's saying.]

Welcome Scout... My name is Phoenix Wright, and I'm the political science instructor. I hope you enjoy your time here.

Video

[luneshalla]

Sounds like humans are just as amusing in this world as they are back home~

[Ellistree mused, eyes searching him curiously.]

So you would be like a rogue then perhaps? Or just an adept athlete? Either way I have a feeling you'll be enjoyin' your stay here.

[rivalappeared]

The women here don't respond well to desperation, just FYI.

[ audio ]

[idealisms]

... Babes?

I am not sure if the academy accepts infants.

[ oh my god are you SERIOUS ]

[ not here ]

[obfuskate]

[ OH MY GOD NOT ANOTHER ONE

NOPE

OLLIES OUTIE ]

[thedesertrose]

[Oh, great. Another loudmouth. Who is she kidding? Nabooru sort of likes them.]

It's an academy for learning how to appropriately wield a weapon. We're grooming people in all walks of life as well.

[She thinks for a moment.] You sound like you could use that, if you ask me.

[audio]

[explosion_day]

[This is the most manly man voice that ever manned.]

Ladies don't like 'em quick. They like 'em adventurous.

Too bad for you.

[audio]

[cupofbatnoodles]

[Wow. Loud. Izzy's not going to have any trouble knowing when this guy's around.]

Nice accent, Bostonian. Whatcha doin' out here?

[Video] Now with 25% less fail

[did_well_enough]

[Great, another annoying snot-nosed brat she has to deal with.]

If you have no interest in expanding your limited amount of knowledge, I assure you that there is a fully functional door in this school. Several, as a matter of fact. Do feel free to use them any time you wish.

[Ac...tion...? Audio? Across the room?]

[burningheart]

[So uh not to be skeevy or anything, but some dude totally came into the room while that Very Boston Christmas voicepost was happening. Once it's over with, he pipes up.]

You don't like it here?

[paletteknife]

Aww, I like it here! If it's a final destination, I think it's a good one!

[Not that she's been a whole lot of other places...]

[vela_nova]

If you don't want to be here, then why ARE you here?

And I know a few who could test that claim of yours...

[video of the most bicepular man]

[bluetanker]

You lookin' for army guys or somethin'? You asked for a soldier and a sniper? And you're a scout?