smashacademy | [text]

I...

[Breath Chihiro Fujisaki, breath.

He takes a moment to do so between sobs, Mondo may be right but he was also wrong. He needs to get his words across, the taller boy was thinking as if Chihiro held any form of resentment or anger for murdering him.]

B-but you don't have to... w-we're friends- it's not all your fault, I miss you...

[Not were, but are. The last few words had died out of his voice but holds no less truth than everything else he had said, Mondo is probably his most trusted friend and regardless what happened he still holds some form of admiration for him as a role model.]

[ Ah, if only he knew that, Chihiro. But as far as he's concerned, there's nothing about him the programmer should admire. The way he was talking made it seem like he didn't have as much against him as he thought. Then again, neither did stuttering a bunch of sorries. Well, Alter Ego had reassured him that Chihiro would be more understanding to his situation, and they were caught in the same situation, after all. Of course there would be sympathy. Despite all the excuses you could make to portray him as less accountable for his actions based on immensely pressuring external factors, nothing could cleanse the blame he smeared onto himself. It didn't really matter what the environment was. He broke under the pressure and hurt people and that's what matters. Just because Chihiro forgave him somehow didn't let him off the hook.

Friends, though. It was so strange to hear him proclaim them friends, to say he missed him when he looked so broken up like that about what he was sure was fear. Hell, after knowing what he DID to him, he was concerned about their friendship? They... might have been friends and he didn't remember it. Mondo didn't really know what to do with this sudden switch in direction, so he purses his lips and glances over elsewhere, hand rubbing vigorously against the back of his head. Well, for one, maybe he should... stop being so firm and loud. He wasn't good at treating situations delicately, but damn it if he didn't owe it to Chihiro to be a lot less scary or intimidating. He didn't need that right now. He takes a deep breath and crosses his arms, the resolve finally taking form. ]

Look, I have a lot to apologize for, so you're gonna take it whether you like it or not. It's only the least I could do for you. I'm... really sorry. For lashing out and killing you... For not keeping my promises. For not being as strong as you thought I was. I'm sorry.

[It was Chihiro's turn to stood in silence. It's all raving in his head -how it was never all Mondo's fault for him- sure, but that wasn't going to really cut it either? Maybe he had this all wrong as well... At least, he needs to listen what the gang leader has to say just as much as he had to say it upfront himself. That leaves a bit of progress then plenty room for improvisation and making amends for past mistakes. They both needed equally, he realized.

This time, he took the time so his tears would stop, enough for Mondo to realize that he wasn't afraid of him as he thought he was- or enough for him to face his own fears even if said fears had to apologize to him first. His body as a whole still felt weak, enough that he was pretty sure that his legs would give in any moment but Chihiro tries to block it out. Block everything out and try to calm himself down. After what it seems like an eternity, he takes a deep breath and brace himself;]

Even if I was angry at you, I would forgive you and- and- everyone deserves a second chance....

[Smiles are reassuring right? Even if it felt odd, he tries to pull a smile from his tear-stained face.]

[Mondo's feelings are so complicated right now. It feels like he was being jerked in all sorts of different directions. He was rushing headlong into a situation he was scared of confronting, after all, without having time to prepare.

Then again, wasn't that how things usually went down with him?

Chihiro was an angel if he ever did see one. His smile only helped liken him to one even more. He missed the smiling face a lot, he realizes. It was one thing for Kiyotaka to forgive him for tremendously forsaking him, but another for Chihiro to forgive him for murdering him in spite of all the trauma it obviously caused. It was soothing to hear, and he was dying to embrace those pure and beautiful strokes of mercy without giving so much as a glance at their past, but he won't let himself. Negative feelings, thrown by himself at himself. The conflict lay within.]

I don't think I deserve a second chance. Do you... have any idea how sick I make myself?

I... think so but, can we- have another chance?

[He really wants one, he believes that Mondo would like one as well. Chihiro's head started to clear up and he thinks, they could at least mend the fence even in a very slow pace. The brunet doesn't want to lose a person he care about, and Mondo is one of them. Chihiro's throat suddenly felt dry as if he were to make another sound, only something hoarse would be heard. Another moment to compose himself then, but the next few words must be said and heard;]

... I'm afraid of you, but I want another chance, we can start slowly- if you'd like...

[It really was just like Alter Ego foretold. Here he was, extending a second chance and wanting to repair the damage. And then, it hit him. Instead of viewing the second chance as some kind of reward or saving grace- which, it was- he could view it as a way to redeem himself to Chihiro. He did have a lot he owed him,and he could spend this second chance making it up to him. He could rail against his decisions to forgive and move on all he wanted, but he couldn't change how Chihiro felt about him. Maybe it was time to give up on mulling over how horrible he was and just move on in a better direction. If he had a second chance at life, then he should at least make the best of it.]

Okay. I'm not in a position to be forgiven, but... I'll take it. We'll start over, and I'll make damn sure I don't screw up like I did last time. In the meantime, I'll keep my distance from you for a while. So you can get used to me. Sound fair?

[Finally, the programmer smiled more sincerely, somewhat relieved.]

I accept, oh! Um... we can still contact through text, sounds okay? You can have my phone number, or my e-mail, or any of my instant messenger IDs....

Sure. I'll give you my number and text you my e-mail.

[He digs his phone out of his pocket and searches for the number, taking a long time because he's no good with technology. Then, he gives it to him.]

I'm not very good at this kinda conversation, but... I'll try and check up on you like this from time to time.

Sounds good... Oh um, I have to go now though.

[He clumsily picked up the previously fallen books and put them back in his locker before heading off.]

I'll talk to you soon! See you later, Oowada-kun.

[And with that, Chihiro wobbled away with a smile. Though he wouldn't lie, even though he felt like an absolute mess physically, he felt content and relieved emotionally. Direct contact will still be a problem, but under circumstances possible he was going to make the best of the chance and get over the bridge.]

Yeah, see ya later...

[Mondo's feelings coursed on the same plane as Chihiro's. Of course, he felt no physical mess; it was all mental and emotional exhaustion. Getting to talk to him like this was uplifting and worth the stress he felt doing or anticipating it. It was a good first step for the both of them. Now he just had to make sure he kept his word and kept his distance. ~~Too bad they're next-door neighbors~~

Maybe this was the kind of strength he was looking for. The ability to own up to his mistakes and shove his pride aside for the sake of doing what was necessary. To confront his fears despite the immense psychological toil it would take on him. In that moment, he felt like Fujisaki had something very important to teach him about being strong. He wondered if they're meeting hadn't been chance like this, which one of them would have worked up enough strength to break the tension and go talk to the other. It would have probably been Fujisaki.]

[text]

JAM PACKED WITH ACTION, wow this is cheesy though

I'LL TAKE MY ACTION WITH A SIDE OF CHEESE PLEASE

EXTRA CHEESE FOR THAT ACTION COMING RIGHT UP

Should we add some butter too?

That may cause some heart problems

I guess we'll just have to popcorn.gif with cheesy popcorn then.

mmm cheesy cheese-fest with cheesy popcorn.gif

no subject

no subject

no subject