Ian Malkovich (
redshirted) wrote in
smashacademy2014-07-06 06:55 pm
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[video]
[Ian’s video feed has kind of an alarming start, he has a slight sheen of sweat and is trying to catch his breath. He is very clearly standing in front of a door to some sort of maintenance room.]
Hey there! [He's smiling and waving despite being out of breath] Name's Ian Malkovich, and I'm the new maitenance man on the campus. Burnt out lightbulbs, broken air conditioning-- [Suddenly there is a strange, very alien noise from the background] --trapping things in closests, I can handle it.
[He gives a big thumbs up! And then continues on only slightly more seriously.]
And uh, Sam, when you get the chance I could use your help with something. Well, I guess you specifically don’t need to handle it but I figure you’re really the only person I know here that’s decent with a gun and--
[He gets cut off by a loud THUMPING NOISE coming from the door behind him. He jostles with his keys to make sure the door is locked before returning to the recording]
Anyway, I was looking for some spare light bulbs and I found a closet full of these figurine things, and I sort of knocked them over, and this alien looking thing, the jellyfish pinchery kind-- [Ian mimics pincers on his mouth with his fingers] --came to life. They don’t exactly give the maintenance guy the right equipment to deal with that. I've got him trapped in the utility closet but--
[A loud SKRREEEEEEEEE is heard in the background.]
--whenever you get the chance, meet me by utility closet B12. No rush. The door's locked at least.
Hey there! [He's smiling and waving despite being out of breath] Name's Ian Malkovich, and I'm the new maitenance man on the campus. Burnt out lightbulbs, broken air conditioning-- [Suddenly there is a strange, very alien noise from the background] --trapping things in closests, I can handle it.
[He gives a big thumbs up! And then continues on only slightly more seriously.]
And uh, Sam, when you get the chance I could use your help with something. Well, I guess you specifically don’t need to handle it but I figure you’re really the only person I know here that’s decent with a gun and--
[He gets cut off by a loud THUMPING NOISE coming from the door behind him. He jostles with his keys to make sure the door is locked before returning to the recording]
Anyway, I was looking for some spare light bulbs and I found a closet full of these figurine things, and I sort of knocked them over, and this alien looking thing, the jellyfish pinchery kind-- [Ian mimics pincers on his mouth with his fingers] --came to life. They don’t exactly give the maintenance guy the right equipment to deal with that. I've got him trapped in the utility closet but--
[A loud SKRREEEEEEEEE is heard in the background.]
--whenever you get the chance, meet me by utility closet B12. No rush. The door's locked at least.
[audio]
You've just gotten here and you're already getting into trouble. Are you hurt?
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In the meantime, he feigns insult at her.]
Heeeeey, it's not my fault this place keeps figures dangerous aliens waiting to spring to life at any moment. [He pauses for a beat and then adds a bit more (but just barely) sincerely.] And I'm fine, thanks.
[PROBABLY TOO SOON TO JOKE ABOUT DEATH? Yeah. Too soon. Good call, Ian.]
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She automatically reaches for the pistol strapped to her thigh (totally matching her casual attire) but stops midway. Funny, how her default state of being outside of Smash was in the Power Suit and the lady underneath was something of a mystery, whereas here it ended up becoming the exact opposite. She didn't really like flashing the suit on and off around here, even just parts of it, without good reason.
The ice beam was however a very good reason and especially so right now.]
Good. [Stay fine.. She takes a couple of steps back and with a concentrated effort summons the arm cannon around her forearm in a shimmer of light, the sleeve of her jacket fraying majestically in the process. While she liked that jacket a lot there wasn't time to fuss over it with a deadly screeching space vampire jellyfish braying a the door. She needed Ian's help for the next part.]
On the count of three open the door outward so you have cover. I'll take care of the rest.
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Well, except for maybe her flashy arm cannon making an appearance indoors. He was wondering where that was. It's nice to see some things haven't changed.]
Hey, just be careful where you point that thing alright? Let's hope your aim's improved after all these years.
[Nope, some things haven't changed a bit and that includes his sense of humor. Ian braces the doorknob.]
Ready when you are.
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Three. Two. One. Now!
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Also his lips are probably slightly numb from the blast which makes his words slightly muddled.]
That's a fancy new trick.
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Samus continues to stand there arm locked in the same position, seemingly frozen herself. It wasn't like she hasn't done this a million times, just... it had been so long since she'd last done this--last seen a living Metroid. Short-lived as it was. Either its exsistence was a fluke or she was going to make some head roll around here. Slowly, she lowers her arm.]
I've got a lot of fancy tricks up my sleeve.
[She gives the ice shards on the floor a cautious kick, shuffling them around with the heel for her boot. It's dead. She turned attention next to the closest Ian trapped it in.]
What'd you do?
[He did something, obviously.]
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Hey, I didn't do anything.
[It's the exact same tone he'd use with his brother when caught doing something that was perhaps less than ideal conduct for a soldier in the Galactic Federation. He stands up, dropping the ice piece back on the floor. He guesses he'll probably have to clean that up.]
The headmaster gave me keys to this closet.
[He thumbs back to the closet. Why did everyone keep insinuating he was poking around places he shouldn't be. HE HAD KEYS!]
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Okay, so maybe he didn't do anything wrong but]
What'd you touch?
[Not really waiting for an answer she steps on the icetroid and crushes it underboot (making it a point to do so, really) and LO AND BEHOLD...]
...This is a closet full of assist trophies.
[She says this like he's supposed to know why this makes all the sense in the world.]
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[And probably the more important question...]
Do they normally spring to life like that? What was that one?
[Ian's hands hover dangerously close to another one IAN DON'T DO IT]
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It--augh! IAN!
[TIME TO HIDE BEHIND THE DOOR AND USE IT FOR COVER UNTIL THEY DISAPPEAR.]
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[Ian waves his hand in front of the tiny tanks, fascinated by the fact that the munition seems to be going right through him.]
I didn't know dying once made you invincible.
[The only explanation.]
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It's because you were the one who touched it.
[Not that there aren't, you know, super stars and 1-UP mushrooms and other odd things here that more or less fit that bill. Stepping out fully she shakes off whatever little hits dinged her, doing little more than scuffing her pants.]
They're designated for fights in the stadium. [She gives a wary glance back at the open closet.]
They all do different things, but that was the first time I've seen one with Metroids in it...
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Yeah, uh, sorry for knocking that one over. At least you seemed to have the right weaponry to deal with it...
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[And not, you know, bump into any walls and drop important upgrades.]
Have you been to the stadium yet?
[He'd probably find that fun.]
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[He pulls out a wrench from his utility belt and bats it in his palm a few times. He guesses he could improvise with it.]
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[The joke is dryly delivered, of course. It'd be worth an improv, she thinks, though she wasn't actually planning on sparring with Ian (not at the moment, anyway). Mostly she just wanted to show him all the fun things the stadium could do. It was arguably the most advanced piece of technology the school had to offer in an otherwise very 21st century setting.]
Meet me there in ten minutes.
[He had to. You know. Clean his mess up. Probably.]
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Hope you haven't gotten soft after all these years.
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[Sure she's... kind of done some domestics with the boyfriend thing, but this school is fraught with weirdness as he'll quickly find out, and she definitely uses the stadium on a regular basis to train and keep her skills sharp as any good instructor should be.
TEN MINUTES LATER she awaits in the middle of the stadium, one hand on her hip. There's a small collection of various items by the control podium.]
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He jogs into the stadium, still with his utility belt because he's not really sure what to expect. Honestly, if he swung the wrench hard enough it could be a weapon. Not that he really wanted to give anyone a concussion.]
Alright, whatcha got for me, teach.
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[She points to the ground as if to gesture 'stay put' in the stadium arena while she trots over to the podium. A couple of buttons and taps at the control screen later, a huge party ball materializes in the air not far from Ian. One adorable jingle later, it opens and drops an assortment of items.
Samus jogs back to the stadium.]
Go ahead, pick something up that looks interesting.
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Not usually a close combat guy, but this'll do.
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That's a beam sword. It does exactly what you think it does, and gives you good reach.
This soccer ball has unique properties, [She gestures for Ian to back up a little while she similarly walks the ball backwards and away.] in that it doesn't obey the laws of kinetic energy. If I kick it lightly, [She does, and the ball flickers with a brief flame but ultimately doesn't roll very far, as if it was weighted.] it won't go far.
But if I kick it hard... [She gives Ian a look like he should get ready to put that sword to good use. Samus then backs up a little and takes a running start to punt the soccer ball as hard as she can.]
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