smashacademy | [text]

[ Mondo has no idea who just came back to the school. He's not so good at checking the network more than maybe once a week, only in cases where he's bored out of his skull. In fact, he's more than likely to assume it's Alter Ego, but even that is a bit out of the question considering the shit the program had been through with robo-bashing. He was too afraid to come out of the digital world because of that scumbag. Seeing him out and about would be a surprise in and of itself.

So he's walking down the hall and spots someone with an open locker obscuring most of them, but the flippy brown hair is telltale and so is the petite size, and he thinks to himself maybe he finally worked up enough courage to come back into the 3-dimensional world. As he passes, he raises a hand up and greets him. ]

Hey. Surprised to see you. Thought you were too scared or somethin'. Didja work up enough strength to face your fears?

[Chihiro, on the other hand, was simply doing something innocent as reorganizing some things in his locker. He was in a fairly good mood and smiled to himself, thinking perhaps that Ishimaru had rubbed him off after these couple of years after all.

Some days, the memory regain was a blessing, the fact that he had changed a bit in the course of time really helps his own confidence. At least he knows he's strong enough to admit his weaknesses and strive to conquer them, enough that by routine he can smile and joke when he hears familiar voices greeting him.]

I'm okay, I'm just-

[He stop his tracks when he turned around to meet the voice's face, his arms went numb and he didn't register his books falling out from his grasp.

Oh my god.

It's not like he hates Mondo now, on the contrary that he misses his friend and what happened wasn't his fault at all. But it doesn't mean that it didn't left some sort of emotional scar in Chihiro's brain, he still gets nightmares from that moment time to time- which he'd constantly assure himself that it wasn't simple as that the morning after. He was prepare at least, when talking to Ishimaru or anyone now regarding Mondo, just not talking to Mondo himself.

Any form of incoherent sentences seem to die out in his throat, the brunet almost feels like some sort of invisible force chocking him as his eyes felt blurry from tears escaping. Chihiro really hates this, how he seems to have no control of his own actions. He really hates not being able to say how he misses his friend instead of yet again losing to his own fears and traumas.]

Edited 2013-06-30 04:19 (UTC)

[ Mondo has a hard time telling program from programmer. But this? This was all it took to make a distinction.

He too falls into the trap that seals his mouth shut and bars words from escaping, like a tight-fitted muzzle meant for a wild dog whose bite had caused too many wounds. He feels his insides flip around a few times, that casual disposition wiped out and replaced by dumb astonishment. He keeps staring with boggled eyes, slack-jawed and he can't believe who he's seeing right before him, the real deal, Chihiro Fujisaki. The wide teary headlight eyes, like the moments before he... left him, which was for dead.

But he's not dead. He's alive and full of fear. He's not sure which state of existence or non-existence would be better at that moment (though he knows in his heart which he prefers) but it feels almost as though he just swung that barbell at him a couple seconds ago without all the exploding rage and adrenaline surging through him and forced him to live through the trauma instead of die straight away without so much as a dying squeak, leaving Chihiro to fully comprehend the monstrosity of his actions. It's a terrible, terrible feeling and it writhes around in his heart something awful. Just... look at how scared he is and how he has every right to be.

There's an inundation of words he wants to say ready to break the dam, but none of them are capable of trickling out. None of the ones he's been wanting to rip off his chest, anyway. One way or another the spell is broken after a few long moments of tense staring. ]

You're not-

...Fujisaki. It's... really you this time.

[He needs to breath, he needs to compose himself- but breathing felt impossible to do as to gain any control of his body now. Chihiro wants to say it's okay, he wants to apologize for pushing him too far, the brunet wants him to know that everything is forgiven. Except everything starts to cloud his mind just as it had took over his body, it was hard already to breath let alone think straight.

Chihiro hears static, he was pretty sure Mondo had said something to him though he wasn't entirely sure what. He needs to try, pushing himself and take control;]

I-I'm... S-sorry.... It's- it's all my fault- I'm sorry.

[The words felt empty even to him as tears continue to fall. He feels useless, he hates it, he wants it to stop and do and say what he wants instead of his fear. Somethings don't really change huh, a voice said to him bitterly in the back of his mind.]

Ohhh, you've got to be fucking kidding me! For the love of-

[ Indoor voice around Chihiro. Check. Oh, right, wasn't that another promise he broke a while ago? Wow, nice save this time around, Oowada-kun. Too bad you couldn't be in more in control like this back then, when you killed him. With a firmness to his tone that was tiptoeing around outright yelling, he continued voicing his feelings. He had a lot of feelings about people apologizing for HIS bullshit, after all. This was the second goddamn time and he wasn't taking it. ]

This is the stupidest thing. If you think you're helping anything by apologizing, you're damn wrong because you're not the one who lost complete fucking control over himself! You're also not the one who was getting all jealous 'n shit takin' the pussy way out 'cause he was scared shitless over his weakness being exposed instead of manning up and taking his insecurities head-on! So don't you dare utter a single fucking sorry in my direction ever again. I don't deserve your apologies. Don'tcha think it should be the other way around?

I...

[Breath Chihiro Fujisaki, breath.

He takes a moment to do so between sobs, Mondo may be right but he was also wrong. He needs to get his words across, the taller boy was thinking as if Chihiro held any form of resentment or anger for murdering him.]

B-but you don't have to... w-we're friends- it's not all your fault, I miss you...

[Not were, but are. The last few words had died out of his voice but holds no less truth than everything else he had said, Mondo is probably his most trusted friend and regardless what happened he still holds some form of admiration for him as a role model.]

[ Ah, if only he knew that, Chihiro. But as far as he's concerned, there's nothing about him the programmer should admire. The way he was talking made it seem like he didn't have as much against him as he thought. Then again, neither did stuttering a bunch of sorries. Well, Alter Ego had reassured him that Chihiro would be more understanding to his situation, and they were caught in the same situation, after all. Of course there would be sympathy. Despite all the excuses you could make to portray him as less accountable for his actions based on immensely pressuring external factors, nothing could cleanse the blame he smeared onto himself. It didn't really matter what the environment was. He broke under the pressure and hurt people and that's what matters. Just because Chihiro forgave him somehow didn't let him off the hook.

Friends, though. It was so strange to hear him proclaim them friends, to say he missed him when he looked so broken up like that about what he was sure was fear. Hell, after knowing what he DID to him, he was concerned about their friendship? They... might have been friends and he didn't remember it. Mondo didn't really know what to do with this sudden switch in direction, so he purses his lips and glances over elsewhere, hand rubbing vigorously against the back of his head. Well, for one, maybe he should... stop being so firm and loud. He wasn't good at treating situations delicately, but damn it if he didn't owe it to Chihiro to be a lot less scary or intimidating. He didn't need that right now. He takes a deep breath and crosses his arms, the resolve finally taking form. ]

Look, I have a lot to apologize for, so you're gonna take it whether you like it or not. It's only the least I could do for you. I'm... really sorry. For lashing out and killing you... For not keeping my promises. For not being as strong as you thought I was. I'm sorry.

[It was Chihiro's turn to stood in silence. It's all raving in his head -how it was never all Mondo's fault for him- sure, but that wasn't going to really cut it either? Maybe he had this all wrong as well... At least, he needs to listen what the gang leader has to say just as much as he had to say it upfront himself. That leaves a bit of progress then plenty room for improvisation and making amends for past mistakes. They both needed equally, he realized.

This time, he took the time so his tears would stop, enough for Mondo to realize that he wasn't afraid of him as he thought he was- or enough for him to face his own fears even if said fears had to apologize to him first. His body as a whole still felt weak, enough that he was pretty sure that his legs would give in any moment but Chihiro tries to block it out. Block everything out and try to calm himself down. After what it seems like an eternity, he takes a deep breath and brace himself;]

Even if I was angry at you, I would forgive you and- and- everyone deserves a second chance....

[Smiles are reassuring right? Even if it felt odd, he tries to pull a smile from his tear-stained face.]

[Mondo's feelings are so complicated right now. It feels like he was being jerked in all sorts of different directions. He was rushing headlong into a situation he was scared of confronting, after all, without having time to prepare.

Then again, wasn't that how things usually went down with him?

Chihiro was an angel if he ever did see one. His smile only helped liken him to one even more. He missed the smiling face a lot, he realizes. It was one thing for Kiyotaka to forgive him for tremendously forsaking him, but another for Chihiro to forgive him for murdering him in spite of all the trauma it obviously caused. It was soothing to hear, and he was dying to embrace those pure and beautiful strokes of mercy without giving so much as a glance at their past, but he won't let himself. Negative feelings, thrown by himself at himself. The conflict lay within.]

I don't think I deserve a second chance. Do you... have any idea how sick I make myself?

I... think so but, can we- have another chance?

[He really wants one, he believes that Mondo would like one as well. Chihiro's head started to clear up and he thinks, they could at least mend the fence even in a very slow pace. The brunet doesn't want to lose a person he care about, and Mondo is one of them. Chihiro's throat suddenly felt dry as if he were to make another sound, only something hoarse would be heard. Another moment to compose himself then, but the next few words must be said and heard;]

... I'm afraid of you, but I want another chance, we can start slowly- if you'd like...

[It really was just like Alter Ego foretold. Here he was, extending a second chance and wanting to repair the damage. And then, it hit him. Instead of viewing the second chance as some kind of reward or saving grace- which, it was- he could view it as a way to redeem himself to Chihiro. He did have a lot he owed him,and he could spend this second chance making it up to him. He could rail against his decisions to forgive and move on all he wanted, but he couldn't change how Chihiro felt about him. Maybe it was time to give up on mulling over how horrible he was and just move on in a better direction. If he had a second chance at life, then he should at least make the best of it.]

Okay. I'm not in a position to be forgiven, but... I'll take it. We'll start over, and I'll make damn sure I don't screw up like I did last time. In the meantime, I'll keep my distance from you for a while. So you can get used to me. Sound fair?

[Finally, the programmer smiled more sincerely, somewhat relieved.]

I accept, oh! Um... we can still contact through text, sounds okay? You can have my phone number, or my e-mail, or any of my instant messenger IDs....

Sure. I'll give you my number and text you my e-mail.

[He digs his phone out of his pocket and searches for the number, taking a long time because he's no good with technology. Then, he gives it to him.]

I'm not very good at this kinda conversation, but... I'll try and check up on you like this from time to time.

Sounds good... Oh um, I have to go now though.

[He clumsily picked up the previously fallen books and put them back in his locker before heading off.]

I'll talk to you soon! See you later, Oowada-kun.

[And with that, Chihiro wobbled away with a smile. Though he wouldn't lie, even though he felt like an absolute mess physically, he felt content and relieved emotionally. Direct contact will still be a problem, but under circumstances possible he was going to make the best of the chance and get over the bridge.]

Yeah, see ya later...

[Mondo's feelings coursed on the same plane as Chihiro's. Of course, he felt no physical mess; it was all mental and emotional exhaustion. Getting to talk to him like this was uplifting and worth the stress he felt doing or anticipating it. It was a good first step for the both of them. Now he just had to make sure he kept his word and kept his distance. ~~Too bad they're next-door neighbors~~

Maybe this was the kind of strength he was looking for. The ability to own up to his mistakes and shove his pride aside for the sake of doing what was necessary. To confront his fears despite the immense psychological toil it would take on him. In that moment, he felt like Fujisaki had something very important to teach him about being strong. He wondered if they're meeting hadn't been chance like this, which one of them would have worked up enough strength to break the tension and go talk to the other. It would have probably been Fujisaki.]

[text]

let's take this to ACTION YO

aw yis all the ACTION tag one of two

the ACTION continues in tag two of two

LOOKIT ALL THIS ACTION

THIS IS INTENSE ACTION

ACTIOOOOOON

JAM PACKED WITH ACTION, wow this is cheesy though

I'LL TAKE MY ACTION WITH A SIDE OF CHEESE PLEASE

EXTRA CHEESE FOR THAT ACTION COMING RIGHT UP

Should we add some butter too?

That may cause some heart problems

I guess we'll just have to popcorn.gif with cheesy popcorn then.

mmm cheesy cheese-fest with cheesy popcorn.gif

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