[Video - entirely too much candy.]

[punchtheflute]

[It's a phone video from Sonny Moe! He waves at the camera.]

So! I was saving money to buy a car this year! But then, I thought, maybe that money could be used for something better. Something to help cheer everyone up, maybe? Because I know people are scared of the moon and stuff, even though King Bowser's going to have that all under control! So, I was like, what will make everyone happier? Then I remembered it's after Halloween, sooooo...

[And lo, he swivels the camera around to show a MOUNTAIN of candy sitting in an unused classroom.]



Yeah, you guessed it! I spent pretty much my life savings on super discounted Halloween candy to share with you all! I'm in the old Algebra classroom because I thought maybe it was time something fun happened in there! Come and get whatever you like!

OK, bye!!

Comments

[tank_rockarms]

You gettin' bigger in the right way would cheer people up.

[punchtheflute]

It wouldn't cheer me up much right now.

[needsmorebiceps]

Yeah, but you could be an inspiration to other guys.

[punchtheflute]

I am being an inspiration to other guys by giving them something nice to eat.

Not everyone is the same way. Not everyone likes to have big muscles and out of the ones that do, there's not many who care about how big mine are. But most people like candy. I love candy. My muscles are definitely big enough right now, so, I'm going to take a vacation from getting bigger muscles. If the world doesn't end, then my vacation could be over.

[tank_rockarms]

It's like I just got socked in the gut.

[punchtheflute]

Pffft! You're so silly, Max!

If you don't want any candy, maybe I can interest you in some cans of spam? They had a sale on cans of spam, too. I don't know why. I have like eleven of them. Do you want some? I could cut it up and fry it for you. With eggs.

[tank_rockarms]

That's some pretty crappy protein, Sonny, but at least it's protein, and since the world's endin' or whatever, maybe it's good that you got the canned meat.

I'll eat some, but mostly I'd just want like a dozen eggs and a couple slices of the spam as a, uh, thing. Taste thing. The thing you eat so that the other things you eat taste different 'cause you got more than one thing to eat.

[punchtheflute]

OK, so, like two cans of spam, a dozen eggs, and maybe if you want I could put some cheese on top?

[Yeah, no, those cans of Spam aren't lasting till the world ends unless it plans on doing that in the next twenty minutes or so.]

[tank_rockarms]

I think I said two slices of spam. I don't think I want to eat two cans of it, Sonny. Two slices. Portion sizes. You gotta watch portion sizes, man.

[punchtheflute]

Well, you SAID two slices. I kind of just assumed two cans was better.

And I always watch my portion sizes - they need to be huge!

[tank_rockarms]

No, more ain't always better unless it's more of somethin' good. Spam's just. Spam. It ain't good for much.

And portion sizes are important to keep you at your daily calorie goal. It ain't a race to try and get over the number, it's a race to get just to that number and then stop.

[punchtheflute]

Yyyyyeah... but, see, the problem is that sometimes I get to that number and I'm still hungry? So. Sometimes I just have to eat some more anyway. It just happens! I kind of take that calorie limit thing as a strong suggestion more than an absolute rule.