smashacademy | [Video] A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE EGGMAN EMPIRE

[When the camera came to life, Dr. Eggman was standing in what looked like a big empty warehouse, hands on his hips, eagerly gloating.]

OHOHOHO!! Greetings, all you little SNOTS! I hope you're enjoying the start of a brand new, even more miserable school year than the last!!

You may be asking yourself a few questions! "Doctor Eggman, why are you standing in a warehouse? Doctor Eggman, why do you look so lean and svelte? Doctor Eggman, how can I have a mustache half as amazing and luxurious as your own?" Well, to answer your first question, I have an important announcement! You see, after you MEDDLING CHILDREN blew up my airship, I've had a lot of time to rethink my life's path, evaluate where I stand, and where I want my life and career to go.

And I decided to BUILD A NEW ROBOT ARMY.

[He stepped back, revealing waves of new Badniks behind him as the camera panned.]

That bird attack a few days ago turned out to be the PERFECT opportunity for me! After rounding up a few hundred of the pests, I was able to get right back to work manufacturing more robots! So despite all of your efforts, you HAVEN'T STOPPED ME IN THE LEAST! NYAH NYAH! OHOHOHO!!!

[The feed ended. ...A moment later it turned back on.]

And to answer your other two questions, I've been taking spin classes, and conditioner is your friend.

[Then the feed ended again.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You just BUILT a robot army? Already?! But those bird things only showed up a few days ago!

Pyrrhon has to admit, that's pretty impressive!

Oh it's EASY when you have a whole ROBOT FACTORY and a ROBOTISIZER.

Hm. Shame that you seem so evil. You could probably do a heck of a lot of good with the ability to make so much so quickly!

But hey, it's not Pyrrhon's place to judge the affairs of mortals! Unless your weaponry happens to pose a threat to the divine, of course.

But really, where's the fun in THAT?

Just stay out of my way and we'll be fine then!

Beating up bad guys and getting people's adoration is PLENTY of fun!

Like Pyrrhon said, not his place to judge! Really, evil aside, there's not really any reason you and Pyrrhon can't be pals!

To be fair, beating up on good guys and making people tremble in your presence is ALSO plenty of fun. You should try it some time.

You know. Kind of a secret here, but Pyrrhon's actually done that before, too, and you're absolutely right! Those 'good guys' really deserved it, though.

I'm shocked.

[No he wasn't.]

They ALWAYS DO, trying to get in the way of good old fashioned survival of the fittest.

Not quite what Pyrrhon was doing, but hey, close enough! Just a bunch of smug jerks, taking credit for Pyrrhon's work and not giving me any of the credit or respect I deserve!

Though... Hm. Just how advanced IS that robot factory you've got, anyway? Because I've got a few blueprints knocking around in my head that I haven't found the proper means to recreate yet...

Is that so? And what, pray tell, would be the benefit for ME if I were to hypothetically help you?

Some highly advanced alien weaponry and machines capable of breaking down entire planets to their base components to use to make more of them.

Figure some stuff like that would be able to help out your little robot army, right?

And you haven't used it yourself?

Pyrrhon has neither the materials nor the tools to actually set any of this up. This kind of thing requires a pretty advanced infrastructure set up to get going- which you apparently have!

What do you propose then?

Pretty obvious, isn't it? I share the blueprints with you, you make a robot army for me, and then you can do whatever you like with them! Sounds fair, doesn't it?

Hmm... MAYBE we can deal.

Great to hear! I'm sure we can hammer out the finer details on this, but I think this'll make a very lucrative partnership for us!

You need anything else, you go ahead and let Pyrrhon know!

[Video] A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE EGGMAN EMPIRE

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