[VIDEO]

[testgasm]

Hello!

[It's library robot! He's in his chassis today, seated in front of the video feed, looking about as cheerful as a giant eyeball can look.]

Got a--got a small favor to ask, a, uh, a request, as it were. If anyone is interested in. Fulfilling a request. I've got this chassis, see? Very useful, very--very nice for walking around, doing things that involve hands without having to be a squishy human. Quite enjoy having it, like it even better when it's functional.

[With that, he sets a metal leg on the desk with a resounding thunk. It's intact, but it's an entire leg. The giant eyeball looks slightly less cheerful.]

Had it torn off, you see. Red Coach did it, if anyone--anyone was wondering. D'you hear that, Red Coach? Now everyone knows you trashed the library and tore off my leg and beat me with it, you psychopath. And now I'm getting it fixed, so there.

[Cough.]

Point is, if any of you have some kind of--kind of experience with robotics, you know, fancy fixing a leg, I would. I'd appreciate it. Sort of difficult, hobbling about everywhere. You know--you know how it is.

Comments

[pyroblasters]

You're talking to the one and only God of the Sun, buddy! What would I need a resume for? It's not exactly the kind of job you have to apply for.

[testgasm]

Uh, yes it is. This is--this is my body we're talking about, I'm not going to--not going to hand it over to just anyone. Going to need some evidence of your skill, here. Maybe a reference or two.

[pyroblasters]

Well, you could try asking the entire human race! Wouldn't be around if it weren't for Pyrrhon's intel and know how on machines!

...Or, well, the entire human race from my dimension. Hm, might be kinda hard to get them over here to say anything. Also, not entirely sure they fully comprehend divine matters either.

[testgasm]

Yeah, I...don't think that's going to work, sorry. Um. What robots have you--have you worked with before?

[pyroblasters]

Uh... Pyrrhon didn't exactly work with them, so much as fight them. Which still requires a lot of knowledge about machines! Can't break them if you don't know where to strike.

Putting mechanical stuff back together is basically just destroying them in reverse, right? Should be no problem for a God like Pyrrhon!

[testgasm]

No! No, it's not the same thing at all!

[pyroblasters]

Sure it is! I learned all about machines. Just because I was using that knowledge to break them at the time, doesn't mean I can't use it to fix them too!

[testgasm]

Speaking as a machine, I can assure that it's--that's not how it works.

[pyroblasters]

Speaking as a GOD, Pyrrhon can assure you that is absolutely how it works! Also that Pyrrhon is always right.

[testgasm]

I'm a robot. You being a god means absolutely nothing to me.

[pyroblasters]

Yeah, this isn't a matter of faith or something. Just because you don't have a soul doesn't change Pyrrhon's Godliness!

[testgasm]

Yeah, uh. I'm not letting you near me.