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smashacademy2014-10-30 12:47 pm
butterbelieveamanspromise) wrote in smashacademy2014-10-30 12:47 pm
(semi-narration) and [action]: Past Blasting
When he came to, his vision phased into a classroom from the grainy blur it started out as. Rows of desks lined up from the back where he sat, in a desk of his own.
It was always a goddamn desk. Mondo was sure by now that the haziest points of his memory all revolved around this one unremarkable piece of furniture. It had nothing to do with his inability to cogitate class lectures, which were also the number one most fuzzy and tremendously dull moments in his traffic accident of a life. No. It was like a teleportation pad that transported him across voids sundered by his amnesia.
And this was the third time he'd woken up in one without ever recalling sitting down in it.
----
The second time was only a little over a month ago. Was it anymore? Time just didn't make sense the way it used to. There's a classroom. Rows of desks. He wakes up with a head full of cotton and an eyeful of flowing black hair. His sights snap into adjustment in a flash because that's sure not the last thing he remembered seeing. And neither is that teacher he doesn't recognize scrawling on a chalkboard posted in a classroom he doesn't go to and even more earthshaking for him are the identities of the students' backs before him.
They're... Hope's Peak students. Class 78, all here in the living flesh. All here, in the... Mondo ejects himself from his seat from the mental impact, gripping onto the sides of the desk like it was the only thing keeping him from falling over. Really, his thoughts could swirl together and pop out summed up in his next exclamation.
"What the fuck am I doing here?!"
His interruption cuts the string of lecture short and bends everyone's necks around. Most of the looks directed at him are addled, stupefied like they don't know what to tell him or where this outburst came from. Mondo glances around and feels the hot pinpricks of stress sink into him. All of this is strange- their uniforms, their collective presence, this normal-looking situation, the bright sunlight pouring into the room, no bars or bolts blocking the outside world from sight. In the absence of the teacher's retaliation, Kiyotaka is the first to speak up, his face stiffening back into its usual severity.
"What's the meaning of this? It's obvious, isn't it? You're here to learn!"
"No, no! That ain't what I mean! I-I mean..." He struggles to find the words to describe what happened without it sounding crazy.
"Then what are you talking about?" asked Aoi.
"Maybe he fell asleep and forgot he went to class..." Hifumi posited.
Okay, fine. Maybe it had to sound crazy. This entire situation was crazy, so why couldn't he be a little crazy, too? "I fell into a weird hole, and the next thing I know... I wound up here!"
The entire class goes back to staring at him like he was eating his own hair. Then it breaks out into laughter.
"You sure about that??" laughs Leon from the front of the room. "Man, I didn't think I hit your head THAT hard in P.E..."
"Maybe you ate lunch too fast, dude!" Yasuhiro decides to chime in.
This isn't the kind of clarification he wanted at all. Feeling hotter than ever before with shame, he rises to full height and makes his way to the door spouting an excuse to leave.
"Shit... I gotta go to the nurse! See ya!" The door slides open and slides shut with a final thump, leaving the classroom's laughter to die off and the light mood to plummet, heavy with real concern.
In truth, he never went to the nurse. He got carried away by his surroundings, blown away by the fact that this was Hope's Peak, that dim cagelike atmosphere full of students in classrooms and natural lighting. It looked like a real high school, like the kind of high school he wanted to experience. Why was he here all of a sudden? Was this some kind of dream? Everyone seemed to remember him, but it had been clear back then that they remembered things he didn't, and whatever he remembered didn't fit their understanding. All he knew was that it would never make sense to him, and that the culprit was probably a huge lapse in memory. It freaked him out bad.
No matter how fascinating it was to see Hope's Peak operate like a real high school, Mondo was quick to find the exit. Maybe it was ingrained from the time he wanted nothing more than to break free of the trapped feeling, and to him the school was symbolic of despair. The anxiety that the doors and windows would be barred shut again at any moment only quickened his escape.
And then he went... home. God, it had been years since he'd gone home. He went straight home because he wanted to prove to himself that he could, and sure enough, he made it. Without bumming around for long he mounted his precious bike- HIS bike, and went straight to one of the Crazy Diamond's hangouts feeling like he was riding on paradise's clouds. That feeling only intensified when he saw them there, shooting the shit to make night come faster, like it was any old day in the life he left behind. Overjoyed as he was, none of the guys could understand why he was holding back tears and slinging arms around them so much.
He spent the rest of the day with them and didn't look back. It was the best night he'd had in a damn long time.
When he returned home at two in the morning, he was surprised to find both Kiyotaka and Chihiro standing there. Kiyotaka didn't waste a breath before sending barrages of exasperated scolding upon him for interrupting class and lying to skip school, and Chihiro quietly handed him the bag he left behind and didn't even know he had. Beyond mere duty as classmates, they came because they were worried- their persistence in coming, even when it was the middle of the night, was evidence of that. Since they took so much trouble for him, and they were his closer friends from the Hope's Peak mess, he promised he would explain his bizarre situation to them tomorrow.
That said, the next day, nobody understood quite yet why Mondo was acting so strangely. They noticed something about him wasn't 'natural', and there were some whispers about him going crazy for real, but that was about the extent. His classmates were living on a completely different plane now. They would refer to stuff he never personally experienced but technically 'did'. He quickly learned that, just like the members of his gang, they had experienced a different Mondo altogether. It felt like he was some kind of understudy, like he was filling a role left behind by some other Mondo who was missing in action. Like he said he would, he got together with Chihiro and Kiyotaka during lunch period and explained himself to them. He never expected them to understand completely, and they didn't. Could he blame them? It got especially heavy when he summarized the game of mutual killing, that Class 78 was coerced to kill each other, one of their classmates was responsible for orchestrating the whole mess, and that the three of them suffered a cruel fate because of it. He did not have the heart to describe it, nor did he think it was good to go into that sort of gritty who-killed-who detail at that moment, no matter what their curiosities begged of him. As wacky as Mondo's story seemed, they could not help but believe him due to how sincere his emotions seemed when detailing it. In the end, he confessed with dismay that he could not remember a single day of their more carefree high school lives, and that if they could fill him in, he would be grateful. They were impacted greatly by this and all the other revelations and were more than happy to support their friend with his difficulties. Mondo was still Mondo, even if he had forgotten parts of himself.
He could have told the whole class about his predicament, but it felt impossible when the mastermind herself was walking around. That's why with most everyone else, he cut off more of his explanation and they only understood that he was experiencing some memory problems. Over time, he knew he would need to warn everybody of Junko's future designs. He just wasn't sure how to keep Junko from eventually catching wind that they were onto her.
The first week of his new life was the strangest and took a bit of adjustment on his part. He often wondered when he would wake up from what must be one of those 'alternate universe' things and couldn't detach himself from the idea that this wasn't real somehow. Even though they no longer shared the same stream of memories, Mondo got a glimpse of what everyone's friendships were like, and even the nature of some of his own, unspoiled by the mar of murder and despair. Ironically, it was his own side of the relationship that he couldn't peer into, which was completely ass backwards. He could only guess, and that was easy enough. As time went on, even without memories of the past 6 months he'd forgotten, he fell into place with Class 78 as easily as a jigsaw piece. Soon enough, he was smiling and laughing with them, sweating alongside them during sports day, setting up preparations forkyouko's cat cafe suggestion COME ON WE ALL KNOW IT the culture festival... It was almost like he belonged there all along. Best of all, he got to relive his heyday with the gang he sorely missed again. And with each passing day, as a month became almost two, Smash Academy drifted further and further away. He let go of the idea that he was returning in favor of this lifestyle, and all the baggage he carried from the past was shoved away where he didn't have to acknowledge it.
That's why when he awoke from a nap to find himself in a classroom with the Smash emblem printed on a red flag...
----
...he was completely shaken.
[[Ever since AU month sort of came to a close, Mondo's been missing. His stuff isn't gone, so it doesn't seem like he's gone forever, but has he always been this... well, not here? The truth is, he's been gulped up by one of those rips in spacetime and hasn't returned until now. Spooky. Well, just in time for Halloween! Mondo's gonna start moseying around in crisis mode now, so go ahead and run into him if you'd like.I swear I didn't mean to make a KI: Uprising reference; that's not the kind of crisis mode he's in]]
It was always a goddamn desk. Mondo was sure by now that the haziest points of his memory all revolved around this one unremarkable piece of furniture. It had nothing to do with his inability to cogitate class lectures, which were also the number one most fuzzy and tremendously dull moments in his traffic accident of a life. No. It was like a teleportation pad that transported him across voids sundered by his amnesia.
And this was the third time he'd woken up in one without ever recalling sitting down in it.
----
The second time was only a little over a month ago. Was it anymore? Time just didn't make sense the way it used to. There's a classroom. Rows of desks. He wakes up with a head full of cotton and an eyeful of flowing black hair. His sights snap into adjustment in a flash because that's sure not the last thing he remembered seeing. And neither is that teacher he doesn't recognize scrawling on a chalkboard posted in a classroom he doesn't go to and even more earthshaking for him are the identities of the students' backs before him.
They're... Hope's Peak students. Class 78, all here in the living flesh. All here, in the... Mondo ejects himself from his seat from the mental impact, gripping onto the sides of the desk like it was the only thing keeping him from falling over. Really, his thoughts could swirl together and pop out summed up in his next exclamation.
"What the fuck am I doing here?!"
His interruption cuts the string of lecture short and bends everyone's necks around. Most of the looks directed at him are addled, stupefied like they don't know what to tell him or where this outburst came from. Mondo glances around and feels the hot pinpricks of stress sink into him. All of this is strange- their uniforms, their collective presence, this normal-looking situation, the bright sunlight pouring into the room, no bars or bolts blocking the outside world from sight. In the absence of the teacher's retaliation, Kiyotaka is the first to speak up, his face stiffening back into its usual severity.
"What's the meaning of this? It's obvious, isn't it? You're here to learn!"
"No, no! That ain't what I mean! I-I mean..." He struggles to find the words to describe what happened without it sounding crazy.
"Then what are you talking about?" asked Aoi.
"Maybe he fell asleep and forgot he went to class..." Hifumi posited.
Okay, fine. Maybe it had to sound crazy. This entire situation was crazy, so why couldn't he be a little crazy, too? "I fell into a weird hole, and the next thing I know... I wound up here!"
The entire class goes back to staring at him like he was eating his own hair. Then it breaks out into laughter.
"You sure about that??" laughs Leon from the front of the room. "Man, I didn't think I hit your head THAT hard in P.E..."
"Maybe you ate lunch too fast, dude!" Yasuhiro decides to chime in.
This isn't the kind of clarification he wanted at all. Feeling hotter than ever before with shame, he rises to full height and makes his way to the door spouting an excuse to leave.
"Shit... I gotta go to the nurse! See ya!" The door slides open and slides shut with a final thump, leaving the classroom's laughter to die off and the light mood to plummet, heavy with real concern.
In truth, he never went to the nurse. He got carried away by his surroundings, blown away by the fact that this was Hope's Peak, that dim cagelike atmosphere full of students in classrooms and natural lighting. It looked like a real high school, like the kind of high school he wanted to experience. Why was he here all of a sudden? Was this some kind of dream? Everyone seemed to remember him, but it had been clear back then that they remembered things he didn't, and whatever he remembered didn't fit their understanding. All he knew was that it would never make sense to him, and that the culprit was probably a huge lapse in memory. It freaked him out bad.
No matter how fascinating it was to see Hope's Peak operate like a real high school, Mondo was quick to find the exit. Maybe it was ingrained from the time he wanted nothing more than to break free of the trapped feeling, and to him the school was symbolic of despair. The anxiety that the doors and windows would be barred shut again at any moment only quickened his escape.
And then he went... home. God, it had been years since he'd gone home. He went straight home because he wanted to prove to himself that he could, and sure enough, he made it. Without bumming around for long he mounted his precious bike- HIS bike, and went straight to one of the Crazy Diamond's hangouts feeling like he was riding on paradise's clouds. That feeling only intensified when he saw them there, shooting the shit to make night come faster, like it was any old day in the life he left behind. Overjoyed as he was, none of the guys could understand why he was holding back tears and slinging arms around them so much.
He spent the rest of the day with them and didn't look back. It was the best night he'd had in a damn long time.
When he returned home at two in the morning, he was surprised to find both Kiyotaka and Chihiro standing there. Kiyotaka didn't waste a breath before sending barrages of exasperated scolding upon him for interrupting class and lying to skip school, and Chihiro quietly handed him the bag he left behind and didn't even know he had. Beyond mere duty as classmates, they came because they were worried- their persistence in coming, even when it was the middle of the night, was evidence of that. Since they took so much trouble for him, and they were his closer friends from the Hope's Peak mess, he promised he would explain his bizarre situation to them tomorrow.
That said, the next day, nobody understood quite yet why Mondo was acting so strangely. They noticed something about him wasn't 'natural', and there were some whispers about him going crazy for real, but that was about the extent. His classmates were living on a completely different plane now. They would refer to stuff he never personally experienced but technically 'did'. He quickly learned that, just like the members of his gang, they had experienced a different Mondo altogether. It felt like he was some kind of understudy, like he was filling a role left behind by some other Mondo who was missing in action. Like he said he would, he got together with Chihiro and Kiyotaka during lunch period and explained himself to them. He never expected them to understand completely, and they didn't. Could he blame them? It got especially heavy when he summarized the game of mutual killing, that Class 78 was coerced to kill each other, one of their classmates was responsible for orchestrating the whole mess, and that the three of them suffered a cruel fate because of it. He did not have the heart to describe it, nor did he think it was good to go into that sort of gritty who-killed-who detail at that moment, no matter what their curiosities begged of him. As wacky as Mondo's story seemed, they could not help but believe him due to how sincere his emotions seemed when detailing it. In the end, he confessed with dismay that he could not remember a single day of their more carefree high school lives, and that if they could fill him in, he would be grateful. They were impacted greatly by this and all the other revelations and were more than happy to support their friend with his difficulties. Mondo was still Mondo, even if he had forgotten parts of himself.
He could have told the whole class about his predicament, but it felt impossible when the mastermind herself was walking around. That's why with most everyone else, he cut off more of his explanation and they only understood that he was experiencing some memory problems. Over time, he knew he would need to warn everybody of Junko's future designs. He just wasn't sure how to keep Junko from eventually catching wind that they were onto her.
The first week of his new life was the strangest and took a bit of adjustment on his part. He often wondered when he would wake up from what must be one of those 'alternate universe' things and couldn't detach himself from the idea that this wasn't real somehow. Even though they no longer shared the same stream of memories, Mondo got a glimpse of what everyone's friendships were like, and even the nature of some of his own, unspoiled by the mar of murder and despair. Ironically, it was his own side of the relationship that he couldn't peer into, which was completely ass backwards. He could only guess, and that was easy enough. As time went on, even without memories of the past 6 months he'd forgotten, he fell into place with Class 78 as easily as a jigsaw piece. Soon enough, he was smiling and laughing with them, sweating alongside them during sports day, setting up preparations for
That's why when he awoke from a nap to find himself in a classroom with the Smash emblem printed on a red flag...
----
...he was completely shaken.
[[Ever since AU month sort of came to a close, Mondo's been missing. His stuff isn't gone, so it doesn't seem like he's gone forever, but has he always been this... well, not here? The truth is, he's been gulped up by one of those rips in spacetime and hasn't returned until now. Spooky. Well, just in time for Halloween! Mondo's gonna start moseying around in crisis mode now, so go ahead and run into him if you'd like.
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Still, he couldn't deny he was curious. Even if he couldn't recall anything directly on his own, at least these would be a few more pieces to the puzzle. Maybe it could put his mind at ease about a few things.
He tilted his head just slightly, eyes wide and unblinking. Their noses were practically touching by this point.
"...Go on," he urged, more than desperate. "Hold nothing back!"
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The tail end of his explanation was sung out in that teasing neener-neener way children like to do.
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It was a kneejerk response, one that hadn't changed a bit from the way he used to be two years ago. Four years ago. Longer. Hearing that some past and/or alternate version of himself went after Mondo was kind of comforting, to know that much was the same even in a time he couldn't remember. But then his brain caught up with his mouth and he mentally kicked himself, knowing that of course he probably would have freaked out just as badly in the same situation.
But he still would have stayed in school. Most likely.
"So, where did you end up going?"
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No... given the chance, he really would have done the same after all. It was stupid to feel jealous. He told himself long ago that he accepted what happened to his home and to his family. To him. There was nothing he could do to change it. But there was still an ugly knot forming somewhere in his stomach, an anxious fluttering in his chest.
If Mondo could go back, maybe one day...
But he'd end up returning too, wouldn't he? ...Maybe that was for the best. He had too much here to completely abandon. What would he really do if given the option, though?
He turned his head away for a few seconds, staring out the window while he tried to sort his thoughts. Finally he looked back at Mondo, brow furrowed.
"Did you... try to stop it from happening?" Did he try to preserve his comfort? His home? His life?
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In short, he had been scared of her and her unpredictability. Against a foe like her, he didn't know what kinds of moves to pull. He had a bad feeling he couldn't just punch and kick his way out of it. Even if they all united against her at once, would they be ready? What would they do to stop her? Would she be able to work around everyone's readiness, or would she only pull her plans together faster?
"Man... It was weird going to class with her," he added, eyes distant as though reaching into the past. "She gave me this weird feeling, like... I dunno, she knew I knew about her. Is that weird? I thought it was weird. It just didn't make sense that she'd know I knew. Maybe I was acting on edge around her more than I used to, and she picked up on it... Anyway, yeah, talked to just a few of you guys about what I knew about our future. Figured I'd just go with the flow and tell people when it felt right, so we'd be able to watch out for her in case she started acting up."
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"Perhaps even just telling who you did is enough to give us... give the a fighting chance."
He knew already there were alternate timelines where everyone made it out alive, thanks to Makoto and Mukuro's time here, even if he'd given up on figuring how that kind of thing was possible. As happy as he was for a less bloody timelines, for a chance of some version of himself to live a full life and achieve his dreams... more of him ached in envy because he himself was not so fortunate. His nose wrinkled a bit and he stepped back from Mondo, crossing his arms.
"Whatever changes may have been made there... it clearly doesn't affect us now. If it wasn't enough to even remember, then maybe... it's best to just forget all about it, now that you're back."
Jeez. Someone's previous wide-eyed wonder sure took a turn for the bitter.
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They were both so tired of this. He could feel it drag his weight down; he could see it in Kiyotaka's face.
They were tired of a lot of things.
He let his mind stay latched onto Kiyotaka's suggestion for a small while, as it was unable to let go. He didn't want to give up remembering anything about their past. He just came back from it, and he had a lot to say. No matter if he chose to abandon all hope of ever reaching into the past, the curiosity would never release him. Then, he raised his eyes with a small spark of renewed vigor.
"But the thing is... I can't! I can't let go of the past. It's my past!" He stood up and jabbed a thumb to his chest emphatically. "If anyone's got a right to know about it, it's me! Even if we say we should quit thinking about our pasts, do you really think we will? This shit's gonna haunt us for the rest of our lives..."
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Although, those recurring dreams he had... Dreams of a happier life, of his classmates in Hope's Peak without the stress of the murder game. Ranging from the most mundane school days to earth shattering events, happy dreams and nightmares of a broken outside world both. They weren't only dreams, he knew that much.
But that meant some of their themes could have been more than weird symbolism, too.
He'd wondered for a while how to broach the subject with Mondo. Now the opportunity was in front of him, and he had to take that shot, no matter what it led to. Just to get it over with and stop agonizing over it.
"What if there are things in the past that... we wouldn't want to remember?"
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He may not have given it very much thought if he was only bringing up the shameful stuff, but that was about to change without correction, saving Kiyotaka some breath.
"But no matter what kinds of memories they are, let's be real for a moment here. Can they get much worse than what we already got?"
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Witnessing executions, witnessing a despair-fueled apocalypse centered on the very school you attended, both were equally awful. But it was true... There was no way anything that filled in that blank space could be any worse than the Hope's Peak they remembered experiencing.
"What I do know is that something that feels even worse than not knowing anything at all is thinking you might remember something, but not being sure if it's real or not!" Wow did that ever sound crazy. "What I mean is that sometimes I dream about Hope's Peak, you know. Not only the parts we do remember. Things that must have come from before that, too... or perhaps it's only a fabrication of the subconscious. Have you ever experienced that?"
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Here it comes. The dangerous pause.
"I... I had dreams about the art room... before I even knew there was an art room!!"
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"Then maybe it was real! What was it about?"
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"It wasn't much... We were given partners, and I was stuck with Celes, but... then she told me not to mess up her face, and I... look, I'm not so good at drawing! So the pressure was on and I started to panic, and then... I drew a piece of shitwork so ugly, wiping my ass on it would be an improvement! Then she screamed at me and told me to redraw it! And it kept happening over and over again so much that there's no way it could be anything but an endless nightmare of me drawing this creepy chick's face over and over again! It was more horrible than you could ever dream of!"
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You might think this is a joke tag, but let me tell you, it's not.
"But it also sounds believable enough to be real!" Wait, this was jogging his memory of something else. Something he'd willingly pushed out of his mind... He frowned a little.
"If she were still here, we could see if it sounded familiar at all..." But she wasn't, oh well, too bad. He still wasn't sure how to feel about her, after what she told him before leaving. After the things Hifumi added to that story.
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"Who cares if it was real or not? If it was, I'd rather forget about it anyway. God, what a stupid dream... The important part is, I think we still got our memories hiding somewhere in our brains. I dreamed about that room before even stepping foot into it, far as I recall. This just proves our dreams might be onto something real."
Which... was a scary thought, actually, when putting some of the more harrowing or life-changing dreams into perspective. He held his breath as he considered what he said.
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But altering them was. Okay. Sure. Well, he and Mondo were walking proof of that right now, so...
"So they are definitely in our subconscious, which is why they'd be affecting our dreams. But how much can be true...?" He exhaled slowly. "I... dream about you very often, for instance."
Not creepy.
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The creepiness of their conversation catapulted straight over his head and missed.
"But there's nothing weird with dreaming 'bout someone you know. Like, I never met Jock 'til I got here, but I get dreams about that crazy mutt from time to time. But we both know it's different sometimes: when you wake up from those dreams with Hope's Peak stuff, there's that feeling you get... It's real clear and unmistakable, and after you have the dream, you remember some extra stuff about the dream you didn't dream about. It doesn't feel like something you just thought up, either. It's like someone stuffed it into your skull." His face started scrunching into a frustrated scowl. "And then I try and think about more and more but it just doesn't come up and events leading up to it are all black." The desk got treated a quick and hard slam. "It pisses me off!"