(no subject)

[redshirted]

Hey, anyone know where I can get a good meal 'round here? Cafeteria's great, don't get me wrong but I've been living off rations for the past week. [Ian starts pulling MRE wrappers out of his pockets and holding them up for the video] They sorta get old quickly, you know?

Anyway, I'd kill for a decent meal, [Ian pats his stomach and tries to look pathetic and starved. Maybe someone will take pity on him and cook for him.] if anyone's offering. I'll make it up to you somehow.

[Ian leans in like he's ready to stop the video and then stops like he suddenly remembered something.]

Oh and by the way--! I'll be replacing all of the locks on the storage rooms, so they can be unlocked from the interior. For, erm, safety concerns.

Comments

[redshirted]

I was sorta.... stuck.

[tank_rockarms]

For a week? Where were you?

[redshirted]

I was doing a very thorough inspection of all of the utility closets. And their locks.

[tank_rockarms]

Were you locked in a closet???

[redshirted]

Yeeeaaaaahhh_{hh... I was.}

All good now, though. New, safer locks have been ordered.

#welcometoMax

[tank_rockarms]

Where did you crap?

oh my god

[redshirted]

Woah, a little personal there, buddy.

[Answer: MREs clogged his internal plumbing probably.]

Why hasn't anyone else asked this question? It's a pressing question.

[tank_rockarms]

I mean, it was a closet, was there a bucket? That musta been awful.

Getting to all the important issues

[redshirted]

I mean, they have pretty low fiber content so it was mostly a non issue... Wouldn't want to do it again, let's leave it at that.

This is awful.

[tank_rockarms]

That's awful.

We're awful.

[redshirted]

You're telling me.

I'm making it worse

[tank_rockarms]

So, what I'm gettin' from this is, you woulda benefited from being able to bust the door down, yeah? You interested in a weight lifitn' plan that'll help you not get stuck in closets anymore?

no

[redshirted]

I mean, I already put in the order for the new locks... and have a weight lifting regime...

Re: no

[tank_rockarms]

If you have a weight liftin' regimen but you can't bust down a door you're doin' it wrong. Functional strength should let you bust down a door if you try.

[redshirted]

Hey, I got functional strength! Just more operating military powered suits, less, you know, door busting.

[tank_rockarms]

If it's only good for operatin' somethin' that's supposed to augment your strength, then it ain't really your own strength. Functional strength lets you do stuff, not let you rely on tools.