006 [AUDIO]

[testgasm]

[Hello friends, please enjoy this cheerful British voice. Wheatley sounds especially cheerful today. What could he possibly be so happy about?]

So! I'm pretty sure Rick is--Rick is dead, which is great news, if you knew him. Went down to the bunkers, last I heard, didn't come back. Probably a good indication that he is--that he is, in fact, dead.

[Oh.]

It's all right, it's all right, go ahead, breathe that sigh of relief, no one's--no one's going to judge you, trust me, we all felt the same way about that tosser.

But, uh, if you were friends with him, for some ungodly reason that I can't possibly fathom, I'm, ah. Sorry for your loss. If you didn't know him, well, let's just say you're better off. Good riddance to bad rubbish, if you ask me.

Comments

Re: [audio]

[testgasm]

Uh, I don't know where--where you've been, but he's always been pretty much the worst.

Re: [audio]

[liberatedempath]

Oh, I don't know about that. I thought he was an okay guy. Maybe not as cool as you, but still okay.

[testgasm]

Eh, he was probably all right to you because you're a pretty lady. He likes those. Liked. Them. Past tense, because he's dead.

[liberatedempath]

It's true that he was usually very nice to me. I guess because I'm a pretty lady.

[Cuing Wheatley thinking she's pretty, a sentiment she didn't expect to discover.]

You keep saying he died, but he was a robotic unit, like you. Is 'dying,' really the word to be used for that? Shouldn't it be 'malfunctioned' or 'broke'?

[testgasm]

Yes, well, we can die. I mean, if someone were to smash up my hard drive, it's not like I've got back ups lying about, so I'd consider that--I'd consider that dead.

[liberatedempath]

I guess you could say that. I didn't think about that before. There's no repairing something that broken up.

Is that what happened to Rick? Did someone step on him and do him in? I bet it was a girl in those wedge shoes. Those always come out in the summertime with the fashion trends.

[testgasm]

I don't know, he just sort of disappeared into the bunkers, and I certainly don't care enough to go looking for him.

[liberatedempath]

Oh... Then he might still be alive, right? I mean, people have come back from there before and they were all right.

[She pauses.]

...Right?

[testgasm]

Uh, he's been gone for a while, so I'm gonna--I'm going to say dead.

[liberatedempath]

If we find the pieces of him, maybe we can put him back together. I bet he's in pieces.

[testgasm]

Why would you want to do that?

[liberatedempath]

Broken things deserve to be repaired.

[testgasm]

Not all of them.

[liberatedempath]

Many of them.
Including Rick.

[testgasm]

No, uh...no. Sorry. But thanks for playing!

[liberatedempath]

You have issues!

[testgasm]

No! I just don't like Rick! I'm allowed to dislike Rick!

[liberatedempath]

You are, yes, but I think you're taking it too far.

You'd rather him stay dead, then get help and become a better person. Wanting someone to stay dead is not that different from wishing them dead in the first place.

[testgasm]

Of course it's not! I wished that too, and if you really knew him, like I do, you'd agree with me.

[liberatedempath]

I still don't think it's okay. I'm willing to understand anger. I am.

[testgasm]

Well who needs your approval, anyway!? Not me, that's for sure.

[liberatedempath]

......

[This is the sound of her rolling her eyes.]

Yes, yes. I know. At least you're honest about your feelings.