oo6; a dire announcement.

[obfuskate]

[ Just a small text this time, but everyone in the academy better listen up. It's serious. Absolutely serious. ]

A former staff member of the academy, Miss GLaDOS, was found dead in Ferrothorn Park on Saturday, March 9th, at 1:13 AM. Signs of decay are imminent, suggesting that she has been there for some time. Her body has since been removed from the property and has been sent for autopsy.

There will be no further details given.

[ That's it. He's not about to drag any personal feelings into this, no matter how much it makes his gut wretch. ]

Comments

[obfuskate]

I honestly wouldn't have expected any less of you. I doubted you even knew her well, and if you did...

Mm. You likely knew enough.

[ enough to hate her guts, specifically ]

[iamtheeggman]

Oh I knew her. I knew her well enough to LOATHE HER.

[coruskate]

Precisely what I meant.

I loathed her myself, and yet...

Mm. I have my own reasons for being unnerved.

What of you? This killer is attacking people left and right. What if they decided to attack you next? Will you raise your defenses?

[iamtheeggman]

Your concern is touching, but what makes you think whoever is responsible for this is even CAPABLE of harming ME?

[obfuskate]

Both murder victims were thought to be immortal and almighty, yet they both died.

If they are capable of falling, you are, as well.

[iamtheeggman]

Well, they're welcome to TRY.

[obfuskate]

... Mm.

Watch what you wish for.

[iamtheeggman]

Oh, I'll have a few SURPRISES waiting, just in case...

[obfuskate]

Really? Do tell, or... hm. Let's see...

Laser-firing mechanisms, badniks of all kinds, explosives, tight security beams, trap doors, jilted platforms, miscellaneous obliterating machinery, and finally, deadly monkeys.

Have I covered it?

[iamtheeggman]

You left out wonky camera controls.

You forgot guns. Lots of guns.

[obfuskate]

Tsk. Right. I should have known.

Whatever the case, show them no mercy. Please, wound them a little extra in my name.

[iamtheeggman]

If they're foolish enough to challenge ME, they will GET WHAT THEY DESERVE.