[Video] Designated Robo Babysitter TAKIN CHARGE

[forgetbeam]

[Ishimaru sure has had a lot going on for him lately, it's probably time to address the network and sort out his personal feelings, open up and connect with people, and-- YEAH no, it's straight to business as soon as the feed turns on. That's what the network is for, right?

At least technically this is more personal business than usual.]

...I have a request for the women here, students and faculty alike.

My co-hall monitor, Vivian, has been carelessly abandoned by her caretaker. Something like that is bad enough on its own, but it seems she was not taught anything about taking care of herself! So I will need at least one volunteer to assist with washing and grooming her! As I am her partner, I am taking most of the responsibility for her, of course. There are many things I will be able to take care of, but something like that... is far from being one of them...

[For reasons he hopes would be obvious, but then again, this school...]

It is not enough to simply do these things for her! She must be taught how to do them on her own! Everyone, let us do what we can to help set Vivian on the path to independence!

[He looks like he wants to add something else for a moment, but... nah. END VIDEO.]

Comments

[ video ]

[obfuskate]

Why does it have to be a woman? She's a turret. Rather, it is a turret. She was not created under a specific sex. Ergo, any gender can bathe her...

... and I shall.

[ IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, HE'S GONNA 'BATHE' HER TURRET FORM. Goodness. ]

[ video ]

[forgetbeam]

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

As things are now, she is a girl!

[ video ]

[obfuskate]

Precisely, which is why I will be bathing her turret form and seeing if the cleanliness transfers.

[ What, did you think he was going to be washing up turret pseudo-loli boobies?! RUDE. ]

[text]

[makesitcool]

So this Vivian... Am I right to assume she is a child? Or has she more years to her? Regardless of her situation, it sounds like she needs people to rely on. I feel sorry for her condition and wish to help in whatever way I can.

Of course, I, Cress, being a boy, am not in the best position to help with ensuring she is properly bathed.

[text]

[forgetbeam]

She seems childlike, but I have been told that she was originally more of a machine than a human to begin with. No matter what age she is, she does not have the life experience necessary to get by yet.

What else do you think you might be able to help her with?

[text]

[makesitcool]

A machine... I see. How interesting. Then she must be at the level of a child. Can she make her own food? Clean up after herself? Does she often lose her way? Those sorts of things would be simple to teach.

[ONE WOULD HOPE...]

[monotreme_101]

Obviously I ain't gonna bathe her or anything crazy like that. But if there's anything I can do to help her out, just let me know. Ishimaru.

[forgetbeam]

Right. Keeping on eye on her when I cannot and showing her how to do things she is having obvious trouble with should be a good start for now!

[monotreme_101]

Alright - I'll be more than happy to take care of that while I'm on campus. You have my number if you need to get ahold of me, I think?

[trustycrowbar]

You mean that overgrown calculator left her behind?

...Actually I'm not that surprised.

[forgetbeam]

Overgrown calculator?

[Give him a second.]

Are you saying Ms. GLaDOS was also a machine?

[trustycrowbar]

That's exactly what I'm saying. She was an android, and a damn sophisticated one at that.

[star_punched]

[...Abandoned.]

I ain't sure if I can, erm...do that kinda bathin' stuff.

[NO HE CANNOT.]

But I can help if she needs anythin'.

[forgetbeam]

I would not expect you to! It was directed at women for that exact reason! Still, it is wonderful to see so many volunteers for everything else!

[It means he'll have a lot more time to himself for studying...]

[duodeca]

[Will these two ever meet under non-awkward circumstances? The world may never know.]

[Noel did feel sort of bad for Vivian and wanted to try and help her but while she understands that Kiyotaka really shouldn't actually bathe the girl, she's not totally comfortable with it either. But still, he can't do it that would just be. Wrong! He's a boy. So, against her better judgement...]

U-um, i-if you still really really need people to help... [oh god.]

[forgetbeam]

[OH HI... NOEL...

Look, Ishimaru's just glad a girl finally replied. That means SHADOW CAN'T DO IT.]

Thank you for volunteering, Vermillion! This will be a tremendous help to her!

[will_be_god]

Her...caretaker? Elaborate. A pupil at this school ought to possess certain basic skills.

[forgetbeam]

I don't think her caretaker can even be called as such! Nobody should be so negligent!

[Especially not someone who was a teacher, and was therefore responsible for her students...]

You see, Vivian was formerly a machine of some sort... It is only natural she would not know about basic things like feeding herself or dressing properly for winter at first. However! For her to have gone this long without being taught anything is obscene!

[osusume]

Ishimaru-kun, is your girlfriend... younger than you?

[because we're veeeeering straight into genocider syo territory jsyk]

[forgetbeam]

[HOW HORRIFYING]

[forgetbeam]

[BUT ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE:]

...Wait, what do you mean by 'girlfriend?'

[If he has a girlfriend without even knowing about it he's gonna be upset.]

[lovely_wind]

Oh, how absolutely dreadful! A poor, innocent child with no sense of how to make herself beautiful? Something must be done at once!

[Are you thinking what I'm thinking...? MAKEOVER!!!!]

[forgetbeam]

[Make...overs...]

Just basic cleanliness should do! She has more important things to be doing than wasting time on frivolous style!

[HE WENT THERE. Ah, he still doesn't get fashion...]

[bedroomblackbelt]

[WHAT. WHAAAAAT. Have an angry blonde cowboy dude on the video.

Look, he figured out clothes. Aren't you proud, Ishimaru...]

No; you listen here. She's her own lady and she can do what she likes, you understand? If she wants to go get dirty and roll around in the mud all unlady-like then so be it.

It's the man's responsibility to make sure she doesn't get hurt or attacked by genetically altered man bear pigs with laser beams for eyeballs or anything like that while she does it.

[forgetbeam]

[STREAKER MAN...]

As a student on the disciplinary committee, she has an example to set to our peers! It is both our responsib..il..ity...

[Oops sorry he is totally thrown off by monomanbearpigs what the???? He just stares at the monitor trying to comprehend what the hell Rick's getting at with that last part.]