Kiyotaka Ishimaru [石丸清多夏] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
forgetbeam) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
smashacademy2015-01-04 03:27 pm
forgetbeam) wrote in smashacademy2015-01-04 03:27 pm
[video]
Is everybody ready for the new semester?! It's always difficult to readjust to school life after a long break like that, which is why I recommend keeping up with one's studies each day to keep prepared! But if you haven't done that, don't worry. You still have one day left to review the coursework and refresh your memory!
[Boy, that sounds... exciting...]
It looks like the mistletoe infestation has worn off just in time for us not to worry about missing class due to being stuck, too! I understand that it was particularly unpleasant this year. I'm sure many of us were reminded of... of things that we would much rather forget. The past should definitely be learned from, but not so heavily dwelt upon. Right then! It's a fresh new year, so let's all leave that behind us and remember to focus on the future! Let's hear some resolutions for self-improvement! You've all already made them, haven't you?
Here, I'll start. This year, I resolve to-- [Wait, simply maintaining perfect grades through to graduation isn't necessarily an improvement, uhhh]-- find at least three new activities to enjoy with friends!
...And to maintain high grades until graduation. [Just so we're clear.] But that should go without saying for all of us students!
[Boy, that sounds... exciting...]
It looks like the mistletoe infestation has worn off just in time for us not to worry about missing class due to being stuck, too! I understand that it was particularly unpleasant this year. I'm sure many of us were reminded of... of things that we would much rather forget. The past should definitely be learned from, but not so heavily dwelt upon. Right then! It's a fresh new year, so let's all leave that behind us and remember to focus on the future! Let's hear some resolutions for self-improvement! You've all already made them, haven't you?
Here, I'll start. This year, I resolve to-- [Wait, simply maintaining perfect grades through to graduation isn't necessarily an improvement, uhhh]-- find at least three new activities to enjoy with friends!
...And to maintain high grades until graduation. [Just so we're clear.] But that should go without saying for all of us students!
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[Way to shut down everyone's fun, bro.]
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[Aww now he feels dumb.]
But there's something more motivating about making and sharing these plans with everyone all around the same time, isn't it?
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So, mine, I suppose... I... really want get good at cooking!
[shit]
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[THAT RESOLUTION THOUGH... Ohhh he remembers the Great Salisbury Steak Disaster of '14.]
It also opens up the possibility of finding someone who will assist in your efforts... So... If you ever find yourself having difficulty in the kitchen, let me know! I'll be more than happy to help!
[He may not know how to make anything all that fancy but he at least knows how to avoid chaos...]
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[He will never outgrow his shame.]
And... I suppose... I've been considering getting a job, as well. The more I'm connected to the world outside the school, the better set I can be when graduation comes!
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[OHHH GGGGODDDD he has wanted to get out of this school for ages but now that it's happening it's KINDA SCARY.]
After graduating... I suppose finding a place to live is in order, and that includes having the money for it saved up! Unless, of course, you plan to go back home.
[They promised to keep in touch, no matter what. So the possibility of that shouldn't hurt like this.]
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[He's put off thinking about it, but it's on the horizon. Time to... start being realistic. As for the matter of staying or going home...]
R... right. Ah...
[He wants to go home. He really does. He misses his family, his team, his friends. But...]
Do you... have any thoughts of where you'll go?
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...I'm not sure yet.
[But he really is running out of time. He can't keep stalling and hoping that he'll find some way to go back home.]
I can't return to Japan-- not the Japan I left, but... I'm not sure just what my options are beyond this city. [And he sure as hell wants to leave here as soon as possible.] But I'm going to be researching it very thoroughly! I'm sure there are many lovely places out there! Maybe some just like home!
At the same time it's difficult, because... All that I have is here in this school. In a way, this is my home right now. But that sounds completely stupid, doesn't it?
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[Which is why he's so hesitant to do the same. It's not fair. It's so unfair, for how much Kiyotaka's already lost, to deny him even this.]
I'd hope that... if you can't get to, er. To your Japan, we can at least try and get you to mine... if, if that makes any sense. I-if not, though...
We can find a place, together.
[Find, if not stay. At the very least, he wants to help with that. The possibilities are too huge for him to say anything for certain.]
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So far I haven't been able to find a way to any kind of Japan, but if something like that is possible, of course that would be my first choice!
[And if he can't... He won't try to convince Hajime not to return on his own. If he at least has something to return to, it's not fair to keep him away from it.]
--But if it isn't, don't worry! I can definitely take care of things on my own. That's just part of graduating and becoming a full-fledged adult, isn't it? We can both make it.
[Together or not. Kiyotaka fully acknowledges how likely it is to be the latter. He can't keep worrying about the future like this. He has to focus on the present and what he has now, because he knows all too well he can lose it all in an instant. As with so many things.
And suddenly just being able to see Hajime's face on the monitor isn't nearly enough. He'd rather be with him while he can.
...Oh god. He wants to be with him. The very realization makes his ears burn, and suddenly it's kind of difficult to look directly at the screen.]
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Hajime's eyes begin to sting. This sort of thinking... it feels wrong, and sick. When did he become a person who accepted that things couldn't be done? On this, one of most important things he's ever had, why was he already anticipating failure?]
We can... we can both make it, certainly. We can.
[Their relationship has only just begun. They can't... no, he refuses to think of its dissolution so soon.]
K...Kiyotaka! I... I have another resolution! We... I'll find a way for us to get home together! Nothing... nothing will stop me, I swear it!
barfs manpain
Right...! Of course, I resolve the same!
[Way to sound like he's already given up...]
just spews it all over
...We can't let this place win, Kiyotaka. Not on this. Just this once, we... I'm going to persevere. For you, I...
[He suddenly feels so small, and weak. What has he actually done, anyway? He hasn't run a real mission in ages, hasn't made a lick of difference at the school, given in more times than overcome... why should he expect Kiyotaka to trust that this will end any differently?
This is pathetic. Why should his voice be shaking, as he speaks? How can he expect to do anything, if he can't even hold himself together for this?]
I... I'm going to find a way. S-somehow, we're going... we're going to make it work out.
[It should sound like a statement, a fact, a proclamation. Not like begging.]
and then despair au was real
No. He's stopping that line of thought right there.]
Right! After all... As long as this place exists as a hub of sorts, we can always meet up one way or another even if I can't go with you! So it's fine!
[He'll settle. He'll settle on not having to talk about this anymore.]
No matter what, we shouldn't take being together right now for granted! So I... want to see you.
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What matters is the present. The more he thinks about the future and all its uncertainties, the fewer options there actually seem. Only acting in the now can prevent that.]
Yes... definitely. Can... can you meet me by the fountain? I feel like... it would be better not to be inside, right now.
[It's still freezing outside, but the less time they spend in these walls, the freer they can feel.]
OH GOD THIS GOT LOST IN THE CRACKS BUT I REMEMBER NOW
[Enough time to grab a scarf and jacket before making his way down there. It's only when he steps outside when he realizes he should have pushed for a later meeting, one that could give him time to calm down and sort his feelings out. Or at least push the situation far enough out of his mind that his first thought is how easy it would be to just keep on walking and see where that gets him.
He'd never do that, of course. But the thought is still there.
Either way, if he's there before Hajime, it's quiet and thoughtful waiting. But if Hajime beat him to it, he's still pretty quiet, but at least there's a nod of acknowledgment going on.]