smashacademy | [text/action] - backdated to the 14th

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[text/action] - backdated to the 14th

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I can't believe it, I've been here for so long. Roughly speaking, I've been here since 2012, even when you count my six month absents, it's still a pretty long time.

Anyhow! It occurred to me that today is Pi Day. Coincidentally, in Japan, today is also White Day. Traditionally, it's when a girl had gave you Valentines chocolate, the guy has to return the favor on this day. Well, that's traditionally speaking, it's been awhile but I made cookies for the occasion! Feel free to pick up a bag over my dorm room. ＼（＾▽＾）／

[Go on, there are at least a dozen of small plastic bags, someone has been rather bake-happy.]

Action for the Dangan cast
[ARE YOU A MURDERCHILDREN HOWEVER? Because there's something a bit more special for you. Each person gets their chocolate delivered to them in-person, whether he has to go to their dorm room or even looking around the campus. They're specially made for each person okay.]

Action for Nanjo
[Of course it would be rather weird for him to leave out his roommate. He's certainly not Naoki ~~never mind Pixle plays both of them gdit~~ but it was still hard to strike a conversation with him, but regardless it wasn't nice to leave him out. So he made a slightly bigger batch and was ready to give it to him whenever Nanjo comes back from class, hey, it might be a nice icebreaker after some odd time only having (really, really) small conversations.]

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[He just HAD to ask, didn't he? It was embarrassing that he noticed. He was cornered into doing one of two things: lie or tell the truth. And he had to act fast, or else the hesitation might allow him to see right through him. And needing to explain why he'd avoid him in the first place seemed like an awful lot of trouble that he was reluctant to get into.]

No, I... was just going up to the roof for some fresh air... I didn't know you were there.

[After it came out, he felt this nagging anxiety that Chihiro knew the real truth. It was glaring down upon him like the sun during the dog days of summer.]

Edited 2014-03-26 23:04 (UTC)

[Well, they weren't glaring, but there were a pair of concern big Bambi eyes looking at him from below.]

Really? I don't mean to accuse but... you don't sound that entirely sure.

[It was pretty easy to tell, actually.]

[Just as he thought. And now that he tried to lie and it was obvious, he only looked worse, didn't he? He gave up and decided to just be honest. That's what he should have done in the first place. He let out a stream of breath and mustered up the fortitude to confess the truth.]

Okay. I admit, I was trying to avoid you. But it's not 'cause I don't like you or anything, so don't get the wrong idea.

[While he felt somewhat relieved, it also made Chihiro even more concern. He had a feeling that it was a pretty sore one, regardless if he had any sort of relation or involvement to it. It was probably a good idea to be a lot more careful with how he talks to him this time, or maybe for a long while even.]

Alright do you... want to tell me what's wrong? If you'd like that is...

[Mondo shuffled around in place with his hands going into his pockets.]

It's too complicated to even bother. Just a bunch of self-esteem crap, I guess.

Are you sure? I don't mind listening, considering...

[He's always in the self-esteem club anyways, probably a close contender as club president.]

In any cases... I'll be more than happy if there's anything I could help you with.

[Because Chihiro put it like that, because it's Chihiro, Mondo falls silent, weighing his next action. After a few pauses, he speaks again.]

Follow me.

[He turns to proceed through the door that leads to the roof.]

[Seeing Mondo's actions, he wordless followed the other towards the door. Chihiro felt somewhat nervous, though he try to put aside his own feelings by continue walking, subconsciously however he put some distance for his own comfort.]

[Mondo didn't stop moving until he was at the edge, where the school grounds spread out before him from this bird's eye view. He could feel the jitters start their dance inside him knowing that his private feelings were about to be put on stage before Chihiro, but they never showed save for the extra length to his frown. He leaned his back up against the wall in a kind of slump. He could sense that Chihiro seemed to be a little uncertain about this situation, and it only served to remind him of why he should be feeling uneasy, being alone up here with the likes of him.]

So you wanna know what's on my mind? I'm not very good at expressing myself like this, but... I guess I could give it a shot.

[Chihiro moved forward, enough that he'd still be in ear shot. It wasn't as worse as before, considering that now he and Mondo could be in one room without making him feel the need to retreat, but in this kind of tense situation... honestly, he simply succumbed back into instincts, much as he hated it.

Chihiro shook his head.] It's fine, I mean, saying anything is still better than nothing at all...

Maybe you're right...

[Being able to talk with someone about what was weighing on him, in his experience, had always helped lighten the burden some. After Daia died, he wasn't able to get it very easily.]

It's about a lotta things. Mostly myself. After all that happened, you'd think I'd change a little for the better, but in the end, no matter what I do... I know that my shitty actions, no matter how much I regret them, keep affecting people.

[Take Chihiro, for instance. Right now, there's the reminder creeping through the shadows of his awareness that they're alone, just them, and all it takes is one swing, one slip on the controls that he's so damn afraid of losing. His face squeezes into a kind of agitation.]

In a way, I'm kinda freaked out. How do I... stop? I know I'm cut from a different cloth than most of you, and that only makes it harder to connect, but even so, I'd still... Look. You guys are all I have left. And at this point, I feel almost nervous even being around you. Like I'm gonna screw something else up. So it feels like... At this point, the way I am, it's better for everyone if I keep my distance until I know how to get a grip.

I suppose but.... [He bit his lip, not entirely sure how to put his thoughts into words.] I don't think that closing yourself off from completely us would be the right answer. I mean, I didn't stay far away that long....

[True that they had kept distance before, to keep each other's sanity intact despite Chihiro's desire to mend their friendship. Though at the same time, they did slowly hung out more together, and somehow, it felt to him like it was how they had showed better progression.]

Maybe you need a teacher, or something to exercise self-control...?

What the hell do teachers ever know?

[He blurted that, but a teacher he only met just recently came to mind. It was enough to make him second-guess what he said, though he didn't know Joel all that well, didn't have any idea what he'd be able to teach him that didn't have to do with wood.]

They'd probably just tell me to go see a counselor or tell me to study more or some shit like that. Useless...

.... I'm sorry maybe that wasn't quite the word I was looking for... I mean, find someone you think might be a good mentor.

[Surely, there's someone in the school that can help Mondo out? He wanted to be optimistic at least. But, he does have to admit that Mondo's history may very likely be different than his, but then again, so was the rest of the Hope's Peak Academy students.]

A mentor? Like a role model or somethin'?

[He didn't know it, but Jock had suggested the same thing to him in his moment of weakness. Dog-speak was unintelligible. When he thought of mentors and role models, one person popped into his mind before anyone else. It would be impossible to accept a role model if they were dead, though.]

It sounds easy, but... I guess it's a matter of finding one first.

That's right... I think, there should be someone out there that might be able to help, I'm sure of it...

[Chihiro was hoping for Mondo. The further he sunk into his self-estem, the more it felt something stabbed his heart; he didn't want Mondo to feel so... lost and lack of purpose.]

... I'm gonna help you, with more people, maybe we'll find the right person faster.

[Mondo didn't feel too keen on the idea of Chihiro going around and asking people to help him. God, how pathetic...]

No, don't bother. Seriously... I get you wanna help, but this is the kinda thing I should do by myself.

But... [Though he quickly take his refusal back, mainly because he understood that, perhaps, this really was something Mondo need to do on his own.

Reluctantly, he nodded.]

Alright, if you need anything, don't hesitate to tell me anything. Please.

Got it.

[The urge to just spill his guts, tell him about everything weighing on him rose up, only to crash back down again. He felt like he was split into two teams in a tug-of-war game. One side vied to confide his feelings in him. Tell him anything like he agreed to. The other hastened to keep it all inside, a protective measure he was well accustomed to. He felt this polarity of desires a lot.]

Well... Thanks for hearing me yap like this. I think it might've helped sort my shit out a bit, y'know? Weird how that works.

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[text/action] - backdated to the 14th

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