[It's everyone's favorite asshole freckled blonde, Seth. He's splayed out in his computer chair, a white stick sticking out of the corner of his mouth, keeping himself cool with one of those gaudy hand fans.]

It's been so dreadfully hot out lately, all I want to do is lounge around and have someone fan me fan myself. It's not even worth going outside during the day any more.

[He sits up!] Did you know peaches supposedly lower your body temperature? I didn't know that! I looked it up on the internet just a moment ago. Such a shame there doesn't seem to be any peach trees growing wild around here. Neph, maybe you can plant some in the greenhouse for us~!

Until then I'll be fine with... artificial flavors. [He slowly pulls the peach-colored sucker out of his mouth with a resounding POP and licks his lips.] If you catch my drift...

These are really good, by the way. [He waggles it in the air before sticking it back in his mouth with a wink.]

( [ATTENTION DRUG LOLI ARMY: PRIVATE MESSAGE TO Ai, Riwane, Neph & Mary... )

Oh~ Right! Speaking of plants, Bulba I hope you don't mind I've taken some liberties with the empty hole in my heart side of the dorm that you left behind. It was just so big and empty and lonely I almost couldn't stand it. [He pulls away from the camera and it's obvious he has comfortably taken over all the empty space his former roommate has left behind. He's even acquired a fish tank. Uh... yeah that's one hell of a fish tank... taking up half of the other half of the dorm...]

If anyone needs me, I'll be at the lake after dusk. [Seth comes back into view. Rest assured, he'll be the only guy down there in a gaudy red-and-white striped bathing suit.] Someone needs to enjoy it before it evaporates away into a tiny mud puddle. No offense to those of you crowding around the swimming pool these days. I like a little less moron chlorine in my water.


[[MULTIPURPOSE POST! Respond to this video or get your action on. Seth will be down by the lake periodically, or more likely he can be found in BE-4 or wandering around campus after the air has cooled off a little. He's very open to selling some of those tasty looking lollipops, as I'm sure his distributors are. If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask. LET'S GET SOME LOLLIPOPS GOING AROUND.]]

[The clip begins with Pit scrambling away from the desk like he's trying to run away or something. The little white office chair rolls away upon impact. Turns out he's just setting it up so he's standing presentably in front of his webcam.]

Good morning, everyone! Nice breeze today, huh? It is I, Pit! And I have returned from a great absence! [He said those last two sentences with a booming audacity, like he had turned into a narrator briefly.] Remember me? [He's waving like a loony.] I sure hope so.

Anyway! Oh wow, it's been a hectic past few years for me. Where do I start? I was faced with a bunch of old foes again, met a bunch of new ones, got thrown into the middle of a huge war, and I'm talking HUGE! Take a lesson from me and never get stuck in the middle of a skirmish when there's a bunch of ornery gods involved. Uhh, let's see, I... oh hey, I went to space! That's gotta count for an experience. I got turned into a ring for three years, not to... mention other things, watched Angel Land go to the pits-- hah, no pun intended! Saved Lady Palutena from the Chaos Kin, and all around kicked butt. Lots of butts. The sheer number of clobbered butts would shock and amaze you. And boy, were they ugly!

But I saved Angel Land all over again, and it should be pretty peaceful now. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here! That's right, you heard me! I'm gonna be taking classes all over again! Isn't that great? I missed this place sooo much. And I missed you guys! I'm ready to leap out my dorm window and run out and hug every last one of you. Even the jerks I don't wanna hug so much!

But I'm warning you! I've been charging these arms for 30 years. It's gonna be a tight squeeze.

[He stands there for a moment, pondering what the heck else to say, before he shrugs and calls it good.] Okay, that's enough for now I think. I'm gonna shut this video off. [He comes back over and searches his keyboard for the right button, then clicks it off, but not before whispering a dramatic "goodbye...".]

[ A new woman has appeared on your campus, Smash, and she looks less than thrilled about her situation. At first it was rather exciting, but now she's just narrowing her new human eyes at all you little snot balls and desiring nothing more than to leave. When she speaks, her face remains somewhat deadpan, but she is going to try to sound like she cares about what she's saying. Here we go. ]

I was told to introduce myself. [ That was probably not the greatest start. ] My name is Evve, and I would like to point out that I am an Eevee, not a human, but for the sake of convenience with language barriers, we're gonna roll with this. [ She leans back in her chair, sharp copper eyes rolling toward the ceiling. ] I'm apparently a new member of some team of authoritative figures, which means I have to make sure no one does anything stupid, which is basically like asking for the impossible, so, yeah. PFFT. Okay.

[ With a sharp, long exhale, she looks at the camera. ] Buuuut if we could just make this easier and everyone just sit in one spot for the rest of their time here at this academy, I would really appreciate the cooperation. Yeah? [ She nods. ] Yeeeeah.

[ ooc: Evve is pretty much going to stay in human form unless noted otherwise. I JUST LACK ICONS FOR NOW. okay, thanks. BYE. ]

Hello again everyone, this is Ms. GLaDOS. To those of you who are new and did not have the pleasure of being in my class, I am the computer teacher in this...fine academy.

[How did she say that with a straight face?]

At any rate, it's been a while since we last spoke, but I've been terribly busy. As such, I couldn't bother wasting my time with such trivial affairs as this. Luckily, I've finished my work so I can take a bit time off to address my students. Since you all mean so much to me, I've decided to host a summer class for Computers 101. That being said, I would like to be able to get into the more complex aspects of computers. Ergo, if you are uninformed in them, I strongly suggest taking up the summer class.

I'm not going to be babying anyone here, so don't expect handouts. You want to learn? Pay attention. That is all.

[PRIVATE TO CAVE JOHNSON]

Sir, the project you requested has been completed. Feel free to stop by my office to pick it up at any time.