smashacademy | {ONE}

[The voice the entirety of the campus will hear is loud, very Boston, and very angry.]

YO! What's this crap all about? I already went t'school -- I ain't a college man! I got all the skills I'll ever need.

[He sighs.]

I don't know what this 'final destination' crap is but I don't like the sound'a it. I mean -- I'm used t'bein' told I'm gonna die or whatever, and I always make it out alright since I'm so freakin' fast and all, but I don't think I'm likin' the sound'a this.

Uh, so ... REDs! Doc! Fat-Man! Mumbles, Hardhat, Snipes, Spy, Demo, Soldier ... anyone around? I mean I know yer all old as shit 'n everythin' but Ma always told me yer never too old for college so maybe some'a you guys are here? Hopefully.

As for everyone else! Name's Scout. I'm the fastest man alive 'n if ya don't wanna hear it then I welcome ya to race me! I'm also real freakin' awesome at baseball, no joke. I'm always up for a game.

I'm also single, so babes, feel free t'meet me 'round my dorm: [Pause, sound of papers rustling as he looks for something with his address.] BE-16.

Guess that's it! Catch ya later!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Pokey mon? No, 'course I've never heard'a that.

Yeah, uh, yeah I'm human. What else would I be?

[If Scout sounds really confused here, it's because he totally is.]

I do like a good sandwich. And I am pretty heavy. ::Max seems very proud of that statement, because he is 320 pounds of Grade AAA Orange Star muscle::

But I'm Commandin' Officer Max, Orange Star Army. My specialty's direct combat - tanks, subs, bombers, fighter planes and more tanks. Can't do nothin' with indirects. And you're a... mercenary. So, army-guy for hire? And you're a scout? Sonya always had the best scouts... I ain't seen nobody else called Sniper or Soldier, though I got a lotta soldiers to boss around sometimes. Got a good friend who's a sniper... ::A fleeting look of whist mingled with sorrow crosses Max's face, but as that does not sit well upon his manly visage, it does not remain for long::

I teach combat essentials - punches, kicks, jumps, that sorta thing.

I... see.

[ Epee-it-oh-me... Golly, he is pronouncing that wrong! ]

The purpose of sexual contact is to breed, however, so your statement does make much sense. You do not want children, yet you want to engage in intercourse with a woman. Why is that?

[ I mean, at least he isn't forcing anyone, but still... ]

Hmm~ I'd be interested to know what someone from another world would consider to be scary. [Because really, once you've faced the things she's faced in her world, scary takes on a whole new meaning.]

As for when, hmmm, it'd have to be at night or on a weekend as I have classes to attend. But anytime that would be good for you~ I suffer, or more like am blessed with an nice amount of wanderlust, so I'd be ready to walk at any free moment~

How big...?

Are we talkin' baby kitten size or bigger than your head and heavier than a bowling ball size?

[Oh snap you did not just use the H word with him.

Phoenix looks visibly insulted. See: his icon.]

No! I wouldn't stab anyone with my hair! Why would you say that?!

I wouldn't be so sure about that...

[Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwow.]

Well, y'know. We're all different folk.

[Dropping out and being given the chance for school again, even if he was a boxing champ? Mac was on it.]

Now you have! There are a lot of other Pokemon here!

You could be all sorts of things. A Pokemon, a Pikmin, a .... a Yeti! Or anything!

[Before Scout could say anything else, the hedgehog was gone. Dashing way ahead of the Bostonian, presumably in the direction just stated.

Scout straightened up, sighed, then followed Sonic.]

Fine, fine, whatever.

[The look on his face once he hears 'Realm of the Gods' is fairly priceless. It can only be described as a cross between 'really confused' and 'surprised'.]

What?

That's real obvious, Einstein! Nobody's like me, not even that BLU loser. Nope, he just pretends t'be awesome like I am but he fails miserably at it.

He needs t'go to school, not me!

Really.

So there are humans all 'round this place but some'a 'em aren't really humans but are actually pokey mons or pickmins or somethin'?

Wow.

Well, I'm human. One hundred percent. One'a the most awesome ones, no doubt.

Since yer bein' so defensive 'n all, I'm gonna assume that you have stabbed someone in the past with yer hair but feel so bad 'bout it y'won't admit it, ever.

Y'can come clean with me, dude. I won't tell anyone.

Like ...

A foot across. Seriously.

[Not even close, Scout.]

Well, I am sure! One hundred percent! I never lose!

[~~Well there was that one time in middle school--~~ Phoenix looks defeated. He gives up. Why is he giving his time to this guy anyway?]

No! I never have!

[His face slumps in his hands in utter exasperation.]

Seriously?

Maybe I underestimated you.

[HE STILL SOUNDS A LITTLE SKEPTICAL...]

Then good luck to you.

I am able to leave this school at will, but there is no point to it, as the only place I wish to be is back at my facility.

Haha, alright, whatever!

So what class d'ya teach again? I'm askin' just in case I gotta go to it or somethin', and I don't wanna get my eye poked out.

I don't know if I've got classes or not, but I don't care if I do, since, uh, since school's lame. [Pause.]

Did y'ever tell me yer name, anyway? So I can tell ya when I'm free later on?

[Scout seems attentive at first, listening to Max's background and all, but after about thirty seconds he begins to look a little bored.]

Yeah, uh-huh.

[The last line about teaching certain things perks him up, however.]

So yer a teacher here? Ever get yer eye poked out by that other teacher? With the spiky hair?

Facility?

What? Why? That sounds ... boring. What kinda facility is it?

Course y'did! I'm real awesome and even more adventurous! Gimme whatever and I'll step on it like dat bug!

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