smashacademy | {ONE}

[The voice the entirety of the campus will hear is loud, very Boston, and very angry.]

YO! What's this crap all about? I already went t'school -- I ain't a college man! I got all the skills I'll ever need.

[He sighs.]

I don't know what this 'final destination' crap is but I don't like the sound'a it. I mean -- I'm used t'bein' told I'm gonna die or whatever, and I always make it out alright since I'm so freakin' fast and all, but I don't think I'm likin' the sound'a this.

Uh, so ... REDs! Doc! Fat-Man! Mumbles, Hardhat, Snipes, Spy, Demo, Soldier ... anyone around? I mean I know yer all old as shit 'n everythin' but Ma always told me yer never too old for college so maybe some'a you guys are here? Hopefully.

As for everyone else! Name's Scout. I'm the fastest man alive 'n if ya don't wanna hear it then I welcome ya to race me! I'm also real freakin' awesome at baseball, no joke. I'm always up for a game.

I'm also single, so babes, feel free t'meet me 'round my dorm: [Pause, sound of papers rustling as he looks for something with his address.] BE-16.

Guess that's it! Catch ya later!

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[This is the most manly man voice that ever manned.]

Ladies don't like 'em quick. They like 'em adventurous.

Too bad for you.

[Wow. Loud. Izzy's not going to have any trouble knowing when this guy's around.]

Nice accent, Bostonian. Whatcha doin' out here?

Women? I cannot fathom why a woman would like to be referred to as a baby...

[ NOT DENSE, JUST KINDA NAIVE TO SLANG. ]

Aww, take it you don't have elves in your world either? Pity~

[Ellistree mused and smiled mischievously.]

A rogue is a thief, or a spy, or an infiltrator. In fact it can be all of those and more. They're usually known for their speed, agility, grace and subtlety, but I suppose you do seem to lack in that latter.

Humans are always interesting to meet, so I suppose a welcome is in order.

[She pauses and smiles.]

Welcome.

[Great, another annoying snot-nosed brat she has to deal with.]

If you have no interest in expanding your limited amount of knowledge, I assure you that there is a fully functional door in this school. Several, as a matter of fact. Do feel free to use them any time you wish.

[So uh not to be skeevy or anything, but some dude totally came into the room while that Very Boston ~~Christmas~~ voicepost was happening. Once it's over with, he pipes up.]

You don't like it here?

Aww, I like it here! If it's a final destination, I think it's a good one!

[Not that she's been a whole lot of other places...]

[ This was more common than he would care to admit.

Sonic's ears draw back a tad. ]

Hedgehog. Hedge. Hog.

And I just can! [ That was good enough! ]

If you don't want to be here, then why ARE you here?

And I know a few who could test that claim of yours...

[Scout messes with the device for a few minutes, trying to get it to record video. He finally succeeds and greets Sonic with a very stern, very determined look.]

Well whatever! Same kinda animal. And I still don't get why y'can talk but I guess it ain't the most important thing right now.

What is the most important thing is beatin' ya in a race!

Boston! Home'a the RED SOX! [He cheers.]

Garden? Yer a plant? I've never heard'a Hocotate but I'm guessin' that's just a big garden somewhere.

How can y'talk?

Nuh-uh.

Don't lie t'me, dude. I know that ain't natural. My hair's natural, 'cause it's just regular old hair. Not some weird spiky thing that could put someone's eye out.

[Pause.]

Ever put someone's eye out with it?

[Scout fiddles with the device to record video. It takes a minute or two, but he eventually gets it and has a very confused look upon his face.]

No, I don't have elves where I'm from! I ain't from a sci-fi movie or anythin--

[That word. 'Spy.' That makes Scout shake his head and groan a little. No way would he ever be one of those!]

No! No way! Spies are sneaky bastards 'n I don't like 'em! Even the one on my team kinda weirds me out sometimes!

[It actually took Scout THIS LONG to realize this chick was pretty attractive, so he quickly forgets about the spy conversation and grins, leaning closer to the camera.]

Care t'show me around?

[ His lips parted to argue, but as soon as he realized he was looking at his future competition, Sonic flashed nothing but the most earnest grin in his arsenal.

So he was human. Not that it mattered. A challenge was a challenge, no matter what the mouth flappin' away about it was attached to.

He slammed his hands on either side of the laptop and leaned right into the lens. ]

Now that's what I'm talkin' about! I'll let you decide the time and place where ya wanna get crushed! It's the least I can do!

I dunno, I didn't invent the word or anythin'.

So I'm guessin' you haven't gotten any in a real long time or ever since y'don't understand these words.

[Scout is almost impressed with how manly that voice sounds. Kind of reminds him of Saxton Hale's, though he hasn't really heard his too much.]

Yo! I'm adventurous too! And tough. I'm all'a those things, so don't jump t'conclusions.

Haven't gotten any... what, precisely?

[ yeah, consider that answer 'or ever'. ]

I don't know!

I literally woke up and found myself here after dyin' from a stupid rocket t'my face. 'Snot like I saw it comin' or anything, it kinda appeared outta nowhere.

Yeah, and if I take those doors I bet my house is right outside. Or my base.

Except not.

[Scout almost jumps at the voice, since it's from someone right behind him and he totally didn't expect a roommate.]

GEEZ! Way t'give me a heart attack, dude!

[He turns around, expression pretty annoyed.]

I don't want t'be here, no. I hate school.

Well that's good for you and all, but I hate school 'n I have shit t'do back home.

You tell me! I woke up and found myself in this strange room.

Yeah? Well tell 'em t'talk to me, 'snot like I got anything better to do here.

Uh, bonin'! I ain't gonna explain the birds 'n bees t'ya.

Pff, yer weird fuzzy ass ain't gonna crush nobody, 'cept for a turtle or somethin'.

[Scout looks away for a second and sighs, not out of realization that he may lose, but due to the fact that he doesn't know where anything is here.]

Uh, I kinda need a map or somethin' for that. I don't know where shit is.

The bird and the bees...?

[ wait a minute ]

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