tank_rockarms: (What do you mean we're out of weights?)
tank_rockarms ([personal profile] tank_rockarms) wrote in [community profile] smashacademy2015-10-25 01:27 am

Max has a thing to say [speech-to-text generated]

Hey, so did you know that they make powdered alcohol?

They do.

Did you know that it sort of looks like protein powder if you ain't paying attention?

It does.

Did you know that in all the explosions and monsters and everything that I found some and thought it was protein powder and made a shake for myself and drank it down real fast and then after I drank it realize it was booze?

Because that happened.

I just. I just need to tell you all that I believe in you and that we're gonna get through this and me and Slowpoke are gonna be here for you and we love you and I got this really great idea for a giant gun that Slowpoke I love you too you're real great and the. The. Thing. I love the thing. Tanks. I love tanks. And workin' out. And THESE GUNS, YOOOOOO! I love tanks and working out and these guns and Slowpoke. And you.

How do I unwrite this? Unwrite. Unwrite. Unwrite. It doesn't post if I say post
shiest_sunbeam: (Hm?)

[personal profile] shiest_sunbeam 2015-10-25 11:21 am (UTC)(link)
I really love tanks too, I've actually built quite a few.

But you should probably really look into getting some rest. Maybe a meal and something to drink, non-alcoholic, before bed...

shiest_sunbeam: (Kind of listening...)

[personal profile] shiest_sunbeam 2015-10-26 10:31 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, yes I do...

O-oh, well... t-that would be because I'm a half-orc...
shiest_sunbeam: (Sad/Thoughtful/Unsure)

[personal profile] shiest_sunbeam 2015-10-27 10:20 am (UTC)(link)
O-oh, well... An orc's a race, big, bulky strong and fierce and well... green. My other half is elven.

And n-no I guess you're not really supposed to know? I don't know.
shiest_sunbeam: (Hm?)

[personal profile] shiest_sunbeam 2015-10-28 01:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes... yes there are.

By the by, would... do you need any help there? Maybe some coffee?
shiest_sunbeam: (Hm?)

[personal profile] shiest_sunbeam 2015-10-31 12:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I can bring you some water, and I don't mind cooking up some quick steak tips if you'd like?
shiest_sunbeam: (Relaxed)

[personal profile] shiest_sunbeam 2015-11-04 11:24 am (UTC)(link)
I can do that, just let me know where you'll be at and I can bring some water.
shiest_sunbeam: (Hm?)

[personal profile] shiest_sunbeam 2015-11-07 01:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, ah... sure that makes sense. Well, what room is it? I mean, I can search but it'd probably be faster if I know where to go.
punchtheflute: (Human - what you say?)

[personal profile] punchtheflute 2015-10-25 09:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh no, Max! You're pretty drunk, huh?

First of all, though! I love you too!

Secondly, I'm going to bring you some nice, greasy pizza and some bread rolls and a biiiig bottle of juice, OK? Because I think you need something to help you sleep. It's going to be OK!
punchtheflute: (Human - Hugging)

[personal profile] punchtheflute 2015-10-26 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
I've heard that carbs help absorb alcohol and make your hangover better! So, today it's going to be some carbs, Max. But I can meet you half way - meatlover's pizza and I have a salami I'll let you eat if you finish the bread too, OK? Just a little bit of bread!

[He's in full Mother Hen mode right now.]
punchtheflute: (Human - concerned)

[personal profile] punchtheflute 2015-10-26 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
Max? Aren't you... um... what if that makes you throw up?

I mean, I'll be there to help you and everything. But wouldn't it be better to worry less about your macros and more about your health for just one night?
punchtheflute: (Human - friendly)

[personal profile] punchtheflute 2015-10-28 03:00 am (UTC)(link)
Max, if I get you a pile of steaks the size of my head and I cook them for you and serve them to you, can you do me a favor and at least eat a liiiiiittle bit of bread? Not much! Juuuuust a little bit? And drink a nice big glass of water? Would that be OK? If you can do that for me I promise that I'll squat extra reps on leg day, OK? Lots more.
punchtheflute: (Human - awwww)

[personal profile] punchtheflute 2015-10-28 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh Max you are impossible.]

Ohhhhh-kaaaaaaay. Max, I really wish you would just eat some bread because I think that's going to help your head not hurt tomorrow but I'm not going to argue about it with you. I'll come to your dorm in probably a half hour with some steaks and one orange sweet potato, alright? But try to drink some water before I get there, OK?

Do you need me to bring you anything else, Max?
punchtheflute: (Human - concerned)

[personal profile] punchtheflute 2015-11-03 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
I have some tuna snacks I could bring for him? The kind with the mayonnaise? You put it on bread or crackers? Also, sour Pokéblocks and Poffins.
punchtheflute: (Human - concerned)

[personal profile] punchtheflute 2015-11-05 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
I don't have a whole fish, though? I mean... I guess I can go to the grocery store and get you a whole fish and some extra steaks...

That's kind of a lot of walking though. If I do that will you eat some bread?
punchtheflute: (Human - Horror)

[personal profile] punchtheflute 2015-11-09 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
Maaa~~~~~~~aaax. Fine. No bread.

I'll walk all the way to the grocery store to buy you a whole fish to feed to your Pokémon then I'll come to your dorm and cook you a pile of steaks the size of your head and I'll stay there to help you in case your stomach decides it doesn't like those steaks as much as you do.
golonghorns: (Smile)

[personal profile] golonghorns 2015-10-26 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Jesus. Drunk on milkshakes.

That's actually kind've funny.

Look, you've done right by me. You need anythin', just let me know. I got plenty of buckets handy and a lot've bottled water.
golonghorns: (Yeah ok I'm listening)

[personal profile] golonghorns 2015-10-28 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
Surprised that didn't taste awful goin' down. I'll drink Baileys or whatever when it's all that's there.... but a giant glass of milkohol sounds pretty foul, man.
golonghorns: (About to tell some bullshit)

[personal profile] golonghorns 2015-10-28 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
Nope. I don't drink that stuff. If I'm going t'drink milk, I just drink it as is.

You need any black coffee? Good for what ails you.
golonghorns: (Smile)

[personal profile] golonghorns 2015-11-03 03:35 am (UTC)(link)
The word you're looking for is obviously vodka.
golonghorns: (Default)

[personal profile] golonghorns 2015-11-05 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
As a matter of fact, I do have some vodka.

You sure you should be drinkin' more, though?
golonghorns: (About to tell some bullshit)

[personal profile] golonghorns 2015-11-09 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
You may be thinking of water.

[Apparently drunk Max was not capable of... jokes. Or did he really just not know what vodka was? Or was Orange Star some strange version of Russia where the two words were the same.]
trustycrowbar: (You're kidding right?)

[personal profile] trustycrowbar 2015-10-26 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
So you basically drank alcohol paste.

How... How are you not dead, exactly?

[No, really. He's as curious about this as he is weirded out.]
trustycrowbar: (*facepalm forever*)

[personal profile] trustycrowbar 2015-10-27 11:02 am (UTC)(link)
[He... just called him "Gourd." As in a term of endearment. Christ, he really IS drunk.]

You really are a mank, Tax--gh, tank, Max. In a small sophomoric way 'm actually a little jealous. Just do me a favor, and get that water and rest that everyone's talking about. You'll be back in the gym that much faster if you do.

[And he's less likely to climb into his favorite tank and try to literally shoot the moon that way.]

...You, uh, need anything, by the way? I can send the drone out to get it for you, assuming I can get it around the city. Food? Gun mags? Steven Segal movies? You know, whatever.
trustycrowbar: (What..?)

[personal profile] trustycrowbar 2015-10-28 05:45 pm (UTC)(link)
You don't know who Steven Seg--

[O-oh yeah. He isn't from Earth, but another world that happens to have militaries that are disquietingly like the ones in his.]

He's an... actor. Made a lot of movies that you'd enjoy, I think. In fact, I'm sending the drone out with a couple of movie discs. You can watch them while you recover.

[And as promised, Max will get an Amazon-like delivery at his door with a cluster of discs raided from the library. Enjoy your over the top Earth-in-the-80's action and explosion fest, big guy.]
trustycrowbar: (*facepalm forever*)

[personal profile] trustycrowbar 2015-10-31 11:09 am (UTC)(link)
[HIS BEAUTIFUL SEVERAL-THOUSAND-DOLLAR MILITARY DRONE!]

GGHNGH...

...Thanks. I'll watch out for 'em.