smashacademy | 022| text

We were pretty good friends though... I would hope he'd have said something.

[FROWNING.]

Oh. He told you about that too.

[AWKWARD, YEAH...]

Oh. Then I got no idea.

[SUDDENLY, PRIVATE]

Texted me 'bout it.

So I think I should probably mention that I might've fallen in love with a friend've yours and we were kinda naked and planning babies in the greenhouse that day. In case you... hear anything 'bout that.

[Boggle.]

Wait, wait, what? Which friend?

The yellow piranha plant...

[Naked and planning babies. Yellow piranha plant. Oh my god.]

Oh my god.

You... You didn't actually DO anything, did you?? I feel like I might have to punch you if you did.

What? NO! NO.

Well I'm still kinda pollen crazy cuz've time travel but I'm pretty sure it doesn't... work like that anyway...

[STARING.]

Were you plant naked or human naked.

Fuck, human naked!

Except no fucking. I mean... fuck.

I am going to.

Start using a different swear word.

Right now. Soon.

[He covers his face with his hands for a moment.]

Yes.

Please do.

[Moving his hands now.]

But no I don't think... it works that way.

We didn't even... any of that, just.

Planned a nursery for a million baby nippers and fu-- freakin' parenthood and shit. And I've seen her without clothes on so that's something.

You can still punch me if y'want.

Oh.

... Yeah I'm going to punch you anyway because saying you were naked and planning babies in the same sentence was pretty much the worst way to try and tell me you were planning a nursery for nippers.

I said planning babies, not making babies!

That could very well mean the same thing when the guy saying it isn't even sure if things work that way.

How do piranha plants even reproduce? I DON'T KNOW.

[Huff.]

Pollination when they end up flowering, but it is far more common for it to be done via the divisional process.

[Pause.]

Don't look at me like that.

I'm not lookin' at anyone. Good for you for knowin', you were adoptin' one anyway, now I know if I ever wanted to do that, ever.

How 'bout I save you the trouble and punch myself in the face instead.

Yeah, okay, that works.

[For now. Tomorrow morning you were getting a wallop.]

... Have you talked to her again yet...?

[Vinnie begrudgingly accepts.]

Nope. Haven't seen her at all. I figured she'd end up comin' to you 'bout spending Valentine's naked with a homeless man, cuz I think the beard's all she knows about me...

Which, by the way, is not why I shaved. I was gonna shave anyway. Max is a hardass 'bout hair regulations.

Heh, I would hope not. You're usually not the turn-tail type. But mmm..

[He's still looking a little worried now.]

I haven't really seen her since before that since we had a bit of a mixup with the Marie thing...

You think M might've ran into her? He's pretty shit at pretendin' to be you, I'll say that now.

But if you think he tried t'slander you in front've her, uh... I get the feeling he's too timid for that kinda thing too.

[He was getting the feeling that when it came down to "being timid" or "do something to crap on Bulba," Marie would go for the latter.]

I think they definitely talked... I ran into her too and its just a mess.

Ah.

Shit.

Would punching me twice help...?

Uh.... No, probably not.

Worth a shot, anyway... Figures I'd come back in time for another Valentine's disaster.

I guess I'll... see you in the morning.

[Start your mornings off right with sunlight and punchings.]

Mhmm. It's like a welcome home party you probably didn't want. [He sighs and tries to smile a bit.] It should be okay... She should bounce back soon enough.

Yeah. I'll see you.

[Sunlight and punchings are part of a well-balanced breakfast.]

022| text

no subject

no subject

[so private]

[so very private]

[forever]

[weep]

[BD]

[death]

[devastation]

[second deadvinnie plot, go]

[fully conscious revengence]

[goddamn]

[you brought this on yourself]

[I accept]

[Good]

[baw]

[patpat]

[it's only what i deserve]

[i will love you anyway]

[no stop don't]

[it's too late]

[curse you]

[<3]

[seethe]

[smooch]

[ew no]

[deal with it]

[never]

[mlah]

[blah]

[wah]

[baaaaaah]

[paaaaaah]