smashacademy

Guys, you will NOT believe what happened to me! I don't know if anyone noticed, but I've been gone for MONTHS! MONTHS! And guess where I was all this time?

Jail. That's right. I went to jail. It turns out I never repaid the debt I racked up on my credit card since the first time I saved Angel Land and bought stuff off the black market, and the debt collectors who I didn't even know were hounding me finally nabbed me after all these years. Three decades and high interest rates did me in so bad... There were so many zeroes tacked onto that amount that I couldn't count them! Wonderful, incredible, amazing, benevolent, wise and all-the-other-good-adjectives-I-can't-think-of-right-now Lady Palutena was gracious enough to bail me out, but I'm still not a free angel yet. The debt's not completely repaid, so I have to keep shelling hearts out until I'm in the clear. That said, uhh... Does anyone know how I can get that kind of cash fast enough?

Auuugh! And now my credit score is in the pits, too! I'll never be able to buy a house, or a car, or a high-def flat-screen TV even if I wanted to! I might as well resign myself to a life of eternal bumhood...

Uh. Long story short, I'm back. I didn't miss too much, did I?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh...right! I never introduced myself from the start, silly of me. My name is Mona! I own Mona Pizza back in my hometown of Diamond City. Don't know if you've ever heard of it? Well, regardless! It will be an utmost pleasure to have you on board the team Pit!

[Without warning, Pit breaks into song.]

This here is Mona Pizza!
Makers of the world's best eatsa!
Fresh sauce and cheese galo-ore,
Brought straight to your front do-or!

[Hearing the jingle never ceases to amaze her. What is more amazing is hearing the entirety of her business jingle being sung. Good to know her pizza business is booming even to remote areas such the academy. Mona can't help but join in with Pit, clapping her hands to the beat and turning the jingle into a duet.]

A-MA-ZING!I can't believe you have the entire jingle memorized to heart. That's like, a first. You've been to Diamond City then I take it?

[She rubs her hands together in anticipation for his answer. The sooner she can hire Pit, the sooner she can blow Pizza Dinosaur sky high out of the pizza waters! Those corporate jerks will be sorry the day they ever picked a fight with Mona!]

Actually, no. I just know the jingle. Pretty catchy, isn't it?

[She laughs. Aw, he's too darn cute for words.]

I should hope it's a catchy jingle. Wrote it myself!

[Pit erupts into awe.]

Oh, no way! You really ARE talented! It would be a waste not to clone you.

...Kidding!

[Nervous laughter.]

Don't know if I should take that as a compliment but...thank you? I'm afraid one too many of me might be a bit over dramatic. As they say, three is a crowd. I'd be getting in my own way literally during my jobs.

Oh, trust me. They do get in the way. Sometimes.

No way, I would have expected clones to be in the way twenty-four seven. You go to brush your teeth and find the bathroom already crammed to occupancy with three of you brushing their teeth. You turn over in bed to find a clone is hogging the warm sheets!

Though sometimes? Really?

Well, they can be a big help, too. When it's you versus the world- or, at least, waves and waves of monsters out to kill you- having some backup can really be a lifesaver.

...But I hate it when they accidentally shoot you instead! Talk about getting in my way!

vidya

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