vidya

[raw_angel_power]

Guys, you will NOT believe what happened to me! I don't know if anyone noticed, but I've been gone for MONTHS! MONTHS! And guess where I was all this time?

Jail. That's right. I went to jail. It turns out I never repaid the debt I racked up on my credit card since the first time I saved Angel Land and bought stuff off the black market, and the debt collectors who I didn't even know were hounding me finally nabbed me after all these years. Three decades and high interest rates did me in so bad... There were so many zeroes tacked onto that amount that I couldn't count them! Wonderful, incredible, amazing, benevolent, wise and all-the-other-good-adjectives-I-can't-think-of-right-now Lady Palutena was gracious enough to bail me out, but I'm still not a free angel yet. The debt's not completely repaid, so I have to keep shelling hearts out until I'm in the clear. That said, uhh... Does anyone know how I can get that kind of cash fast enough?

Auuugh! And now my credit score is in the pits, too! I'll never be able to buy a house, or a car, or a high-def flat-screen TV even if I wanted to! I might as well resign myself to a life of eternal bumhood...

Uh. Long story short, I'm back. I didn't miss too much, did I?

Comments

[flowerofmtsilver]

Well... how much can you bench?

[For all he knows, being an angel meant you had super strength too? It wasn't unfeasible.]

[raw_angel_power]

Something like 185, I think.

[flowerofmtsilver]

Yeah, Max is gonna make your muscles hurt in ways you didn't know were invented.

[raw_angel_power]

What are we gonna do? Bench tanks or something?

[flowerofmtsilver]

Well, I wouldn't say that's what you've got t'look forward to on day one, but...

Y'know, I wouldn't put it past him.

[raw_angel_power]

Me neither. Well, being a good soldier can't be all about how much you can bench! I'll try him on for size. What else should I expect?

[flowerofmtsilver]

A lot of orders bein' yelled, for one. I wouldn't be surprised if he made it a personal mission to put three inches on the biceps in your wings, too.

[raw_angel_power]

Not that I'd mind! Maybe he can figure out a way to get me to do bicep curls with my wings...

[flowerofmtsilver]

For biceps? Max will find a way.

[raw_angel_power]

Th-that's it! Why didn't I think of it sooner? If I can make my wings stronger, then maybe I can get better at flying!

[Whoa turn down the sparkles a notch there angel-bro. You just about knocked over your webcam with all your jerky excited movements.]

Max can show me the way! I will never have to wander down the dark, unenflightened path again!!

[flowerofmtsilver]

['Unenflightened'?]

Well, I don't know anything 'bout flying, but that sorta makes sense...

Make sure you don't get too beefy though. Otherwise you might just get too heavy t'fly anyway.

[raw_angel_power]

I don't know about that. You should see some of my troops. Picture soldiers bigger than Max with wings coming out the sides of their heads like a pair of feathery bunny ears. You wouldn't think little wings like those could carry all that bulk, but...