[video] Bowser Posts a Thing

[ihateplumbers]

So, you're probably all wondering where I've been for the last few days. Literally nobody has noticed or cared I'll let you all know.

I had my time-machine rebuilt, and was off exploring the wonders of history.

Learning about history can be fun. Let me show you some of the wonders.

::Bowser holds a bladed staff weapon up.:: This is a Taiaha. Maori warriors used to use them to invent trench warfare. What's trench warfare, you ask? Nobody knows anymore, because none of the Maori have Taiahas anymore.

::Bowser holds up a set of brushes.:: Did you know that Michelangelo painted a ton of naked people all over a church one time? Well, not without his brushes he didn't. Junior did a much better job at painting it over, anyway.

::Bowser holds up an old camera:: Eadweard Muybridge pioneered stop-motion photography, until his camera went missing. Today he's remembered most for getting away with killing his wife's lover.

::Bowser holds up a series of papers:: Did you know that Canada was supposed to be founded on July 1, 1867, but due to some inconvenient paperwork mistakes, it was actually not founded until September 5, 1867, at the height of Canadian winter? It's true.

And that's why history can be fun.

Comments

[iamtheeggman]

You have a time machine, and you haven't used it to kill Mario yet?

[ihateplumbers]

Why would I use a time machine to kill Mario?

[iamtheeggman]

Because why else would someone as evil as you HAVE a time machine?!

[ihateplumbers]

Dick around with history for kicks?

[iamtheeggman]

Are you at LEAST using it to alter events to ensure your eventual domination of the Mushroom Kingdom?

[ihateplumbers]

It only goes back in time to some weird parallel universe where there are make-believe places called Canada and New Zealand and USA.

[iamtheeggman]

...

What a WASTE of time and resources.

[ihateplumbers]

Sometimes you have the play the hand you're dealt. These made-up people in USA-land and Canada-land freak out whenever I show up, so visiting is fun for me.

[iamtheeggman]

Well. You could always try to conquer some strange alternate universe, I suppose.

The last time I had a time machine, I almost succeeded in remaking history in my image.

[ihateplumbers]

The last time I had one, Mario blew it up.

[iamtheeggman]

The last time I had one, Sonic blew it up.

[ihateplumbers]

Life is cruel.