smashacademy | 004 ♦ [text]

I took a little trip, but I`m back now. You haven`t forgotten me, have you? It hasn`t been THAT long. I think I should be upset if I`ve been forgotten already, or something!

In case we haven`t met, my name is Henry. Since I already graduated and all that, I`m gonna be a teacher this time! Won`t that be fun? If you take my class, I`ll teach you all sorts of neat stuff. From how to turn your friends into slugs, to granting sentience to a dismembered chunk of flesh, to plotting out an episode of magically-induced hives for an entire army, I can teach you anything about sorcery and dark magic. (What if the hives were SO itchy that the soldiers started flaying off their skin just for relief? That would be something to see...)

Juuust so you know, I`m not responsible for any accidental injury, disease, or death experienced in my class. Neither`s the school, more fine text, blah blah, risk of possible and permanent side effects from malevolent spiritual interaction, your responsibility... you understand. Keep it in mind, okay? Bye!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Is the school ever really responsible for anything that goes on around here?

Regardless, consider me interested.

Okay. Just show up and stuff. I`ll do my best to sate your interest, so just tell me if you want to learn something in particular.

[That is how being a teacher works, yes? Yes.]

Even though the school won`t take responsibility, it`s not so bad. A lot of good a contract of responsibility does for a student who dies in class, right? There`s no point to that. Better to just have a good time, I say.

Oh, you're back! I was worried I wasn't going to get the chance to know you better while you're here. I mean, you know... if that isn't like. Too weird for you or anything.

I'd still like to attend your class, though! You taught me a little about dark magic... In the future, I mean. Before you... you know. I only ever learned the basics, though, and I haven't really practiced it any in years. I've done all my fighting as a Taguel.

....insurance premiums for this place must be through the goddamn roof.

Yes, a good time while you can make it last.

I'm most interested in malevolent spiritual interaction, as you put it.

Ahaha, sorry for worrying you, if that's what I did! Not sure why you'd be worried about me, though. You'll have plenty of time to talk to me or whatever it is that sons do with their dads.

And if it's about dark magic, I'm sure I'll have plenty more to teach. I'm interested in seeing what sorts of things future-other-whatever-me taught you. Ooh, maybe I could even take some teaching tips from my future-self by seeing what you know~! How neat would that be? ...Y'know, I'm actually pretty surprised you know any of my dark magic at all. I always thought it would be pretty scary, and that my kid would run for the hills at the sight. Ha ha, guess not!

Didn't you see?

[Henry points upward. There's nothing up there, but he's trying to refer to something.]

I said the school wasn't responsible. I don't think they need insurance for that if they say those sorts of things.

That`s a side effect to using dark magic. That`s where sorcerers like me get our powers. By practicing dark magic, you are inviting these spirits to interact with your body in exchange for harnessing their powers. They`re mischievous little fellows, and not all spell casters can handle them. Some mages turn into vegetables. Sometimes even ACTUAL vegetables. Or they just die, but I`m sure everything will be fine.

Well like I said, I only ever learned the basics. I uh, probably couldn't do anything more than use a simple dark tome. It probably wouldn't be very good, either... And I definitely couldn't do any of the really complex stuff you mentioned. Sorry.

Might work differently in this world, but in mine, you'd at least have to make them sign a waiver. And the waiver would have to be approved by lawyers and written up by lawyers and conform to regulations based around the industry you're working in.

[Or, at least, in his world twenty or so years ago.]

Just saying that the school isn't responsible probably ain't gonna hold water.

Well...that's not creepy at all.

Splendid! Death is certainly nothing to fear.

I'll be one of your best pupils. I can't wait to set a good example.

What? You think so? I was expecting more people to think it was. Hee hee! But then, I'm not very good at those type of things~.

Hmm. Guess you wouldn't be able to do anything super awesome right from the get-go, huh? And I probably kicked the bucket before I could teach you much more than the fundamentals... Uh-huh, got it.

At least I can teach you more now, since we have the chance.

[It goes over Henry's head. His head seems to loll to the side until he nods slowly.]

Wellllll... I'm not good at the technical stuff. I was just reading what was on my paperwork. They said it's been taken care of? So I'm sure it'll be alright~.

Dark magic, huh? It sounds like what I have up my alley!
I don't know how to turn people into slugs though. That might be fun to learn.

I can turn people into all kinds of stuff. It takes some practice not to mess up, though. If you`re trying for a slug, you can`t mess up and accidentally turn them into an eel. That spell sounds the same, so it`s easy to mess up. And when your friend`s an eel and you have no water, well... As a beginner, sometimes it`s not so easy to change them back.

So if you want to learn, I`m here to teach. Since I`m a teacher and all.

Oh wow, so it'd be kind of like a random roulette if I'm not careful! That makes it sound even more fun!

Count me in, Mister teacher! I'll be there to learn all the spells so I can have even more fun than I am already!

So long as your paperwork lines up... I guess.

[Joel was INCREDIBLY DUBIOUS at this point.]

Hope the school hires on a new nurse soon at least.

So, you were saying all of those things on purpose?

[Sick joke?]

That would raise some eyebrows, you know?

Great ! I`m not too worried about examples and stuff, but if you say so. I`m sure everything will go smoothly, death or no death.

Sounds to me like you want to learn it poorly so you can mess up all the time, if random spells are your thing. Not that I`m one to judge. I`ve met plenty of bad sorcerers in my day, and I`ve been one myself. Have to start somewhere.

You can also be intentionally bad, at least. So there`s that.

Me too! I don't like getting hurt very much. Having healers and nurses around sure is a blessing. It gets pretty annoying, performing a rewind curse on an open gash just for the skin to bust right open again in a number of hours~. I don't think that's EVER a good idea, so I'd rather just see a nurse.

Hm? I was describing my class and all... Dark magic, right? I've met a loooot of judgmental sorts like you, who discredit it right away as something untouchable... But really, you can do a lot of cool stuff with this magic!

[He missed the point.]

But it wouldn't be perfect if I don't master my skills fully! ヽ(｡ゝω・｡)ﾉ

But then again, I guess if no one knows the outcome, that can also be fun... Hmm, what a dilemma!

Are there roulette-like spells? Like you just can't tell what outcomes you get even when you completely master it? (@°▽°@)

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