smashacademy | [Video]

[Snake's in his personal quarters, looking about as languid as he typically has been. He's propped back in his chair. Binder's flipped open. He appears to be grading... something. Probably an essay on what everyone learned at the Box Camp. At least the people who went. Anyone who didn't and wrote an essay was probably spouting bullshit.

Good thing he can bullshit real well.]

Huh. Last time I was going to say something, I was getting hit on by a woman - and not in the good way. [It's true. Last time he was on the network, Eli was beating him down for being drunk. He's amazingly sober this time around.]

I've got some good news for my students. [He waves some loose papers back and forth.] These aren't half bad. I'm beginning to think you guys are actually listening.

[A pause.]

Bad news is. If you didn't show up to that outing and you turned something in anyway, you're not getting any credit for it. Because you weren't there. I guess your punishment is that you have to eat a panel of a box. If you have any questions about what that's like, go see Captain Falcon and Instructor Aran. I'm sure they can tell you all about it.

[He can too, but he's not going to.] Next paper's going to be on the evolution of boxes and their advancements over time. [In short, come to another class of Boxes 101 where Snake pretends to be this guy named Pliskin and spouts random crap for forty-five minutes to an hour.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[DID HE JUST....

He just...

It's official, Snake has made it to the very top of her shit list.]

It's cute that you think can shrug me off. As one of the school nurses, I completely forbid that kind of punishment.

Look, lady. I can tell you from first hand that a little cardboard on the inside isn't going to hurt anyone. And if you want the proof, go ahead and get some x-rays of Falcon, Samus, and myself. We all had some, ate it right in front of the kids. None of us were sick. None of us had any issues with BMs.

If I really thought it was dangerous and life threatening, I wouldn't do it. I'm not that much of a bastard.

You...and two other faculty members...

[This school is fucking crazy.]

Even so, just because you had a case of temporary insanity doesn't mean you should inflict the same act on the children. I'm sure Rhys will agree with me on this.

[Or if not, she'll nag him until he does.]

[We're all pretty fucking crazy.]

Temporary insanity. That's a good one. I'm pretty sure the three of us are all pretty damn sane.

Tell you what, since this seems like your kind of thing. The number of my students who wind up in the infirmary because of this, you can whip me that same number. And we'll see who was right.

I doubt you know the meaning of the word.

[Says the nun who breaks into maniacal laughter after slaying monsters.]

I am a woman of the cloth and I do not make bets, even if there is no money involved. This isn't about pride or who was right. So either you think up a new punishment, or I will sit in the class and make sure this doesn't happen.

Edited 2013-10-19 01:57 (UTC)

[A woman of the cloth. Great. Basically, she's going to act as his mother then and he's going to have to either accept it or complain to the headmaster, who will likely do nothing about it.

And finally, he gives something of a crooked smile.]

Enjoy sitting in on my class then. You can learn a thing or two about how to pack boxes.

[Oh she sees that grin alright. Which is exactly why she returns it with one of her own.]

Don't worry, I will.

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