[Video]

[loveisbloominginmypants]

[Snake's in his personal quarters, looking about as languid as he typically has been. He's propped back in his chair. Binder's flipped open. He appears to be grading... something. Probably an essay on what everyone learned at the Box Camp. At least the people who went. Anyone who didn't and wrote an essay was probably spouting bullshit.

Good thing he can bullshit real well.]

Huh. Last time I was going to say something, I was getting hit on by a woman - and not in the good way. [It's true. Last time he was on the network, Eli was beating him down for being drunk. He's amazingly sober this time around.]

I've got some good news for my students. [He waves some loose papers back and forth.] These aren't half bad. I'm beginning to think you guys are actually listening.

[A pause.]

Bad news is. If you didn't show up to that outing and you turned something in anyway, you're not getting any credit for it. Because you weren't there. I guess your punishment is that you have to eat a panel of a box. If you have any questions about what that's like, go see Captain Falcon and Instructor Aran. I'm sure they can tell you all about it.

[He can too, but he's not going to.] Next paper's going to be on the evolution of boxes and their advancements over time. [In short, come to another class of Boxes 101 where Snake pretends to be this guy named Pliskin and spouts random crap for forty-five minutes to an hour.]

Comments

[loveisbloominginmypants]

Why am I scared, again? I missed the memo on this one.

[raced_god]

Because I am going to find you, and you're so shitty at hiding that it's not even going to be hard to find you.

[loveisbloominginmypants]

'So shitty at hiding.'
Where the hell is that even coming from? You've never even seen me-

[Wait, that's probably not true.]

No. I'm shitty at avoiding mistletoe, thanks. I'm great at hiding.

[raced_god]

In boxes.

[loveisbloominginmypants]

You've never seen me hide in anything else, so you wouldn't know. The box thing is like a gag that just won't go away.

[raced_god]

I haven't see you try to make it go away. Quite the opposite. It's practically your schtick.

[loveisbloominginmypants]

It kind of is. In a life of inconsistencies, it's nice to have something that is consistent. Even if it's a gag.

[He pauses.]

I guess.

[raced_god]

You don't sound entirely convinced.

[loveisbloominginmypants]

I'd like to be known for something more than boxes, but it isn't as if I don't have a name back home.

[It's just a matter of whether he still wants to be known as The Solid Snake, however. And that is a coming and going fancy.]

[raced_god]

You really want to drag that here?

[loveisbloominginmypants]

Not really.

So I'll just have to make a new name for myself. [One that has nothing to do with getting beaten up by snake women.]

[raced_god]

Box Guy.

[loveisbloominginmypants]

No.
I thought I just said I was looking to not be the running gag of Guy with Boxes.

[raced_god]

It's too late. You teach the Box Class. You're Box Guy.

[loveisbloominginmypants]

No. You're full of shit.

[raced_god]

[This is the sound of Falcon cupping his hands around his mouth.]

Booooox Guuuuuy.

[loveisbloominginmypants]

I hate you. You have no idea how much I hate you.

[raced_god]

You brought this on yourself.

[loveisbloominginmypants]

That is such crap. You're the one who started in on the whole thing when I definitely said we weren't going down the route of boxes.

[raced_god]

Your entire post was about boxes.

[loveisbloominginmypants]

It was a post mostly for the kids...

[raced_god]

You invoked my name, you should have expected this.

[loveisbloominginmypants]

So I guess every time I mention Falcon, I've got to expect a tool to show up.

[raced_god]

I'm pretty sure that the instant you start hiding in boxes you lose the right to call anyone else a tool.

[loveisbloominginmypants]

It's not like I was doing it for fun. If I was doing it just to do it, I could understand that, but I actually have a good reason for using it during covert operations.